write.as

11:30pm

Night sound fills up my ears as I stare on green wall in my room. Silence rings on my head while thinking about my life choices and misfortunes. Why do I feel so miserable? How could I be happy?

I’ve been sitting in front of my computer for 2 hours now. Browsing the social media, envy and bitterness wrapped my body. That’s why I hate Facebook. It adds up to the my distress. Former classmates with their new friends taking groufie on a restaurant, a friend taking a vacation out of town, the girl on the neighborhood posting a photo with her boyfriend, how I wish my life could be that fun.

I wis I will soon fall asleep. When I wake up tomorrow, maybe it will be better. Maybe new opportunities will approach. But I have been thinking these “maybes” for months and good life has not been happening.

I have friends, yes. I have decent job, yes. I have a complete family, yes. But I am not happy. I feel bored with my life. If only life would be like League of Legends, where every game ends on a span of time and you can get to start all over again. Even if you are very vulnerable now and had died multiple times already, even if you are currently the weakest of all the heroes on the Summoner’s rift, even you would be defeated now, you can always start again and on this next game, you could be the strongest and you could win.

I feel like I am on the middle of the game where all our turrets had been destroyed, and opponents are attacking the base. I really want it to end now so I could start again. But life is not like that. I could end it, but it will not be restarted.

I want to be happy. I want to be contented. I want someone to talk to.