god damn i hate twitter
there 66 (sixty-six) Twitter accts that i give a flying fuck about following and 4 (four) of them Tweet. I deactivated my account. I hope i stay off of it this time.
also, i am drinking my weight in water in an attempt to flush out...everything from my system so i can be good to go for the upper endoscopy tomorrow. I need to fast after midnight but i am starting at 10PM. No food after that. I am going to drink a lot of water still, though. In fact, i will just start fasting now as i am full and will not need to eat again tonight.
Also, too, by the way, FUCK Lexapro. I flushed what i had left down the toilet and i am never taking it again. All that shit makes me do is gain weight and make me feel like i am suffocating. Horrid.
The other meds i will take because i need them. That's all she wrote.
So anyway, i have the procedure tomorrow and i will be dosed out of my head on anasthesia (sp?) meds, so i will be out of it but whatever. I just want an Amazon refund tomorrow. That is the most important thing.
that's all
Espresso and Deathcore
because i felt it was appropriate this evening. Listening to Suicide Silence – The Black Crown and getting revved up on caffeine. This album has so much pain and rage behind and i god damn love it. Brutal. I will always be a bigger Deathcore fan than Black Metal fan because DC is sort of “in my blood” so to speak. Heavier the better, i say.
This espresso (a full cup of it) is giving me the pick-me-up that i need this evening. Also, it seems that the sun does not go down until about 9PM these days. The sun is setting, but it is still sunny outside at 7:48PM.
gonna enjoy this coffee
i am feeling better
no more indigestion and i am drinking a lot of water and keeping the digestion flowing. i am starting to get hungry again and i am just going to live with it instead of eating something. #refreshed
i haven't been digesting food properly recently
i have an upper endoscopy scheduled for tomorrow and i sort of have to fast before then and i will do so after midnight but also limit the amt of food i take in before that. but i had a large breakfast and it isn't really processing properly. i feel better now but felt like puking an hour ago. That's life post-Barrett's. i hope the disease hasn't come back again. That would suck.
So, i am just fooling about on Twitter and trying to find something meaningful to write about and...yeah. That's all. Haha
be back in a bit!
if i can...
...customize the CSS (Cascading Style Sheets, i think it is called) on this blog, i am going to. First i need to update to a “Pro” acct. Also i can get deeper visitor stats when i do so and i want to do that because i am starting to get more views/reads/whatever. I already have a....something, something paid-for acct on here, but a Pro acct is needed. The reason I want to have CSS or HTML or whatever here is so i can place a non-invasive ad on here. I know that modern browsers (Chrome, Safari, etc) will BLOCK said ad because the Silicon Valley megacorps don't want anyone to compete with them in any way whatsoever so they can maintain power. Any day now, i expect Facebook to release a browser to combat this so you have a shit ton of ads from Facebook (both on and off their site) + maybe a couple other (dumb, insecure) features. It would be a terrible product but idiots would use it. Anyway, I am going to do something a little different than a traditional ad, and just have a picture with a link that i am paid to hot here. Kinda like a sponsored post, in a way. I do this because i need to make money SOMEhow + i feel it is unnecessary for people to give away their content for free on the WWW w/o monetizing & essentially performing for peanuts (Likes). Really dumb the way people operate in 2018, lemme tell ya.
So, that's all for now. Be back in a bit!
another day passes
seems like the days are going by a little bit faster and faster these...days. I mean i know it is supposed to be a trip when the years go by faster, but it seems the days are going by faster. To be honest, i have never had a weird affiliation with time. I used to use LSD all the time when i was a teenager and everyone was talking about what a “trip” time was. I never knew wtf they were talking about. It was like, “minutes on a clock to break up the time between sunrise and sunset, who gives a fuck?” Whether time moves “slow” or “fast” or not in the period of my life, i am not concerned. I can see where people are coming from who says the years speed up, though.
and that brings me to dying. I am not dying nor do I wish to die, but, sometimes i think about what happens WHEN we (humans) die. I am not terribly concerned with an afterlife of any permanence (though i think there is a spiritual world of good and evil), but I am concerning myself with what happens after death. I would imagine we go to the cosmos in some form or another. Perhaps Heaven and Hell are simple pit stops on the way there and everyone has to spend a little bit of time in each?
i don't have the answers. i wish i did.
i had a lot of coffee today so that's great
i am wired atm and i am drinking a very big cup of (basically espresso) “coffee” right now.
also, not that this is particularly related to me, but it is #ZacFarro's birthday today, so that is p cool because he is p cool and i really like Paramore and that dude HITS those drums! He's fun to watch. Like a young Tommy Lee, in a way. :)
so that's all i gotta say.
be back in a bit!
Bye, ProtonMail. Byyyyyyyeeeee........
Fuck #email. Seriously. I deleted my PM account because i thought e-mail would come in handy at some point, but, no. It truly doesn't. I was w/o e-mail for a month before joining PM this time around and after a week, i still have no use for it. LOL!
anyway, be back in a bit!
tattoos
i am 10000% dead-set on my ink that i am getting next month. i am going to get that massive black and grey eagle on my left forearm if it kills me. it won't be a $400 piece or anything, but i can definitely swing $300. makes sense that it is that size, too, because the other two tattoos on each side of where it is going sort of “tapers down” because of the shape of my arm + the placing of the tattoos. But the goal after getting the eagle done is to add in clouds throughout the entire forearm in black and grey similar to Bieber or Beckham's ink, but, mine will be darker/better. Haha. The sleeving will not cost too much because i already have most of the forearm covered, but, it will still probably be $400+. That's life.
Anyway, i am finishing up my laundry and i did a bunch of grocery shopping earlier in the day and i am s.t.o.c.k.e.d. on foodskee! #yay! Now just chillin' in the AC and enjoying life :P
be back in a bit!
still whittling-down / still minimizing
I understand how the #decluttering process can be super-addictive at first, but giving away/donating the “big” possessions wears out real quick (unless you are super-rich and have a lot of things). The best part of the looooong #minimalist journey comes when you are about 8 years in and you start to r.e.a.l.l.y. cut back. I am not saying you throw out things you would normally save. I am talking about parting with things that you have re-visited time and time again mentally, emotionally, consciously, and decided; “it is time for me to let this go”. I am no dogmatic minimalist here, but, you know what, fuck it, I basically am! By “dogmatic” I men the type of person who goes around with basically nothing. Not even a backpack. And they are totally content with the simple act of LIVING. I take this approach because I was homeless in Florida (Daytona Beach, to be specific) for about a month, and when I was without residence, i had nothing but the clothes on my back, a head full of long hair, and a wallet that was almost always totally empty. I didn't just “make do” at this time, I was THRIVING from walking 10+ miles a day, enjoying every sunset, sleeping on the sand, and sometimes even walking in the pouring rain with the surf up to my knees. It was the most liberating experience I have ever had in my life. This, THIS is why I approach #minimalism in a “dogmatic” way. Given time, energy, and effort: you can learn to part with basically every material possession you own and have juuuust enough to get ya by. I am enjoying this minimalist journey to the far reaches of my comfort levels, and so should everyone else.