Lost in details

I have pretty strong feelings on how sex should go for me. I don't enjoy selfish “all about me” fucking. I need mutual selfish enjoyment. I know what I like and what turns me on, and I need her to be on the same page.

Some women find it strange when I'm not out to just bust a nut. In recent times I've been with some girls who “just want to be fucked.” I get it—they want the man to be the man, and use them however they want. And hey, if it turns her on, I'll never deny her that pleasure. But if she's doing it expecting that I'm getting some ultimate pleasure from this coital agreement, she's missing the point. She should do it because she enjoys it, because getting fucked senseless is going to get her off. Because if it's getting her off, it's getting me off too.

I don't know what you'd call that. My ultimate turn on is me turning her on. Maybe that really is selfish, egotistical sex in the end. But if she gets off in the process too, is that really a bad thing? And is there ever sex that doesn't sate the ego?

Where this came from, I have no idea. The first girl I had sex with taught me exactly how to please her. She was the girl on the airport tarmac directing my tongue into the gate, so to speak. I went down on her so much, and her the same on me, that the rest of my sexual partners in life didn't ever have to deal with a novice cunnilinguist. From then on I knew what each twitch and moan and sigh meant—each a beacon waving me in the right direction towards her orgasm. I'd learn from a later girlfriend how to fuck the right way, but going down on a woman is still my favorite sex act.

Don't get me wrong, I can get off on rough, primal fucking. But I'm a man of details. I get lost in the mountains and valleys of a woman's body. The protruding bones and soft skin stretched over muscles. The tiny sounds she makes when you hit just the right spot. Her face as she feels a sensation somewhere that doesn't come every day. You get her overview with rough fucking—not her infinitely finer points that you can see with slower, passionate sex. There's raw truth in that. That's the shit I live for.