Owam

POVERTY

POVERTY is best described as some general scarcity or the state of one who lacks a certain amount of material possessions or money. It is a multifaceted concept, which includes social, economic, and political elements. Absolute poverty or destitution refers to the lack of means necessary to meet basic needs such as food, clothing and shelter*

This definition is thus far one of the best definitions I've best understood. Fair enough .

*Now let me ask you this

Wouldn't you find lack of love, affection, emotional security, being emotionally unavailable, inability to love as~~POVERTY ~~?

If you wouldn't, go through this with me.

He'd say “I love you ” every once in what felt like a decade or two. I'd forget how it feels to hear someone say such profound words genuinely.

I'd try to make him say or orather I'd say it every now and then so I could hear him say it back but he wouldn't. Well I thought he'd show at at least .But hey who was I kidding ?

He'd tell me he was too busy to call or text me back instead. Everyday. Everyday. That was how much he loved me. That was his affection.

Sometimes I didn't love myself enough that I'd text knowing he won't text back. I'd call knowing he won't pick up or rather explain to me why he couldn't. I'd literally beg for his attention in all possible ways, attention I never received. I begged for love I never received.

This ate me up. Think about emotional security! It made me feel like some lifeless teenager who longed for nothing but to be loved by a boy. It made me weak as a woman. At times it would make me feel like I wasn't woman enough to receive love.

Well I thought I needed to woman up and leave, go look for love, affection and to be emotionally secure. I thought it would be that easy and it wasn't.

Turned out I was so used to be under loved and unappreciated that I didn't respond to real love and affection. I was emotionally unavailable. I tried ,I really tried to condition my new life for this overwhelming love but I failed. I was truly hungry for love, I craved for it like a coke addict craved coke. It was there all along though. I couldn't handle it.

Now that I was failing to receive as a recipient, I decided I should give it maybe and just maybe I would be able to receive it. Well turned out I didn't know how to love either, or nobody taught me how to love. .

I guess there are kinds of poverty. Each kind has a bad impact upon your life, and each kind teaches you a lesson or two.