pattyb09952203

My grandson Mason is 3 years old and Mason is very anxious by nature. Unfortunately it’s part of his DNA. His mom brought him for a haircut over a year ago and it was a very traumatic situation for both Mason and mommy. My daughter brought her son to a barber and asked for a “summer cut”. I was there and I got to watch this firsthand. Mason was put in a chair and then the barber just starting using the clippers on him. Due to lack of communication, Mason flipped. He was scared, confused and completely overwhelmed. His anxiety had completely taken control!

My daughter felt very embarrassed and immediately jumped to, “Mason’s being bad”. I tried to explain to everyone involved that I felt this all happened because nobody actually talked to Mason, nobody explained anything to him and he wasn’t expecting that. Well, ½ of his head was done and the rest had to be finished. I’m not going to go into all of that but, it truly was traumatic to Mason. It’s been a long year with no haircut so I asked Mason if I could take him for one. I told him the process, we watched videos, I showed him the clippers and finally it was Mason’s big day. It was haircut time. I decided not to go to a barber but, a salon instead. Young ladies cut hair there and they usually do great with children. I was excited to see if Mason could face his fear and it was only him and I. Here’s a review of how our day went!

A years growth!

He even picked the booster over grams lap!

Big boy status! The young lady was wonderful!

He even had a smile 😊

So proud and so handsome!

We went and surprised mommy at work. She was shocked that he did it!

Mason got a toy for being such a big and brave boy!

The object to this blog isn’t to necessarily show my ever so beautiful grandson off but, to talk about the importance of including a toddler in the conversation. What seems like nothing to us, like the clippers, is viewed so differently through a child’s eyes. Communication is key to so much but, I think people forget how important it is to communicate with the little ones and especially ones that are generally anxious.

We had a very successful haircut because we prepared for it. We talked about it, watched videos about it and then the young lady that was cutting his hair, let him make all of his own decisions. Grams lap or the booster, clippers or scissors and blowdryer or no blowdryer. I’m proud of Mason. He was brave and he faced his fears. I don’t think we will have anymore problems with haircuts but, I guess with toddlers you never know!

We got to spend this Easter surrounded by our family because circumstances were so different this year and I’m saying, “Thank GOD” for that. A peek of our beautiful day together as a family.

Over 200 pre-filled eggs!

They were so ready!

It’s GO time!

Sweet child!

His favorite egg!

Big hugs and celebrations after the egg hunt!

I can say without a doubt that being quarantined truly makes you realize what you have and what you’ve missed. Still looking forward to more freedom! I hope everyone had a beautiful day!

Today is a special day. 6 years ago today I became a grandmother. I was blessed enough to be able to attend the birth of my 1st grandson and I can tell you, without a doubt that my feet still haven’t hit the ground. This child and I have a very special bond. Michael and I have co-raised him with his parents and it’s been a wonderful thing. Fynn’s got a lot of his dad in him ( my son ) and he’s intense and he absolutely loves his XRP but, he’s also my baby! Through our 6 year journey..♥️🎂

Well life is finally getting ready to settle down a bit. Wait, did I say that out loud? I’m kind of afraid to because everytime I do..Well, you know. What a crazy year and a half! Let’s recap, shall we?

It was with the upmost sadness that I had to announce the death of my mother on October 23, 2019. Doing her hospice has forever changed me and no, not for the better. I’ve got a lot of work to do on myself! It’s one of the biggest mistakes of my whole life and I believe that I’ll have a lifetime of battling those memories but, I have to move forward and so I will. I now know that sitting and holding her hand was my job but, I promised her many years ago and we don’t break promises.

Just 3 days after my moms funeral I hopped on a plane and headed to Florida. It’s in Florida that I’d help bring someone else to their end and that was my dad. Just 20 days apart. A completely heartbreaking moment but, again I have to keep moving forward. No, not my step-dad, he’s good and he’s going to live until he’s 102! Period.

I came back from Florida and Michael’s dog Chase had to be put down. What a beautiful girl and he couldn’t do it. Yes, I brought Chase and another beautiful life ended. Again, I have to keep moving forward.

March 10th 2020 was the day that really hit me like a ton of bricks and flipped my world, my husband was diagnosed with Cancer. Something that we struggle with still to this day. He has his good days and his bad days and it’s been so hard watching him because I can’t fix him. This has brought us closer together and then almost got us divorced, yup, Cancer is a family disease! We are doing just fine now but, that too was a battle.

Now I want to share the stuff that keeps me going everyday of my life. We have a granddaughter coming in June, a son getting married in June, a grandson due in July and a daughter getting married in July. I am so excited to have positive things to look forward to. For all the negative things there’s usually a positive thing. Sometimes I’m not looking and I miss the positive things. I’m trying to stay focused and embrace everything that life has to offer. For every up there’s a down and I’m not in control. This is something that I’ve got to learn to accept. I’ve gotta put one foot in front of the other and keep pushing through because my story isn’t over yet. To be continued...The good, the bad, the everything ♥️

So I am the queen of neglecting myself and putting myself on the back burner. One day it occurred to me that I hadn’t even had a haircut in 4 years. I decided that I’d do it, not just that but, a total hair makeover. I didn’t tell Michael because I wanted to surprise him! I think I was more surprised at the results than he was! It was shocking to me! Check it out!

I can honestly say that I hated my hair when I first looked at it. I mean it was pretty and the stylist did a great job but, it didn’t quite fit me. I got home and Michael actually smiled. He loved it. I was already thinking about how to fix it but, seeing a smile on Michael’s face meant the world to me. So I will be blonde for a bit and I’m alright with that! Anything to my my husband, smile.

So yesterday we got to get a upclose and personal look at the COVID-19 Vaccination location. I’d like to share it because it was nothing like I’d imagine it would be. I’d also like to give a couple of tips which may or may not apply to you but, we weren’t aware. So come along on our vaccination journey!

So WOW! My dad had a scheduled appointment. Time and date. We had to drive 2 hours away from home but, the appointment was just booked days ago. That worked. My dad has cancer and Michael is sick and we all live together! We must take care of one another. I personally didn’t want it but, it’s a must now because Michael is to sick to receive the vaccine. I’m not eligible quite yet so I’ll wait but, be super cautious as I have been.

Here’s a photo story for all of you! We arrived an hour early and got right in line. By the time we hit the bay door that we’d be pulling into, it was our appointment time. Here’s a piece of IMPORTANT advice I wanted to share with you. If you get the Vaccine and it’s in this kind of situation where you don’t get out of your car, turn OFF THE HEAT! The State Trooper said that they had to turn many people away today because the temperature is 0 degrees outside and it’s freezing. People had the heat blasting on their faces in the car and they were showing up as having a fever. There’s nothing they can do about it. You’re literally back at square 1. They don’t have time to wait for your “fake” fever to come down. Just a helpful hint. Also, plan on being there early because you get checked 3 times prior to getting the vaccine and it takes a better part of an hour. So now that we are through that, here we go!

There’s your sign!

2 State Troopers. They make sure you truly have an appointment.

White tents everywhere! It’s almost surreal!

In line to meet with someone from the ARMY National Guard. He does paperwork with you and also confirmes your medical check list!

He PASSED and then signed himself away! Now it’s just a wait!

The actual “wait”. 6 cars go into each bay at a time.

We were next! Bay 2 here we come!

And we were IN! First truck in. We drove straight up and 5 cars pulled in behind us. As I said, 6 vehicles per bay! So organized!

Working hard to get these vaccines in! What a nice group of people!

1st dose is....IN!

On our way out after waiting 15 minutes to make sure that you don’t have an allergic reaction! Medical staff was outside ready to help you in a crisis. GREAT PLAN!

I am very nervous about getting the vaccine but, for the love of my husband and for many, I know I must do my part! I’m just a baby and didn’t want to deal with side effects. I’d say my husband’s life is worth a few days of feeling not great and they said that’s after the 2nd shot anyway. So back in 3 weeks and we will have 1 fully vaccinated person in our household! Good luck everyone and please be safe ♥️💉

It’s coming. You know, that date! The one where people run out to get overpriced flowers, candy and dinner. What day is it you ask? It’s Valentine’s Day! something that Michael and I choose not to celebrate. Why? I’ll tell you. Check this out!

So Michael and I have been married for 15 years. We met and married in just 90 days. I guess it’s fair to say we both believe in love at first sight because truly, that’s what it was. There was so many naysayers and I can’t say that I blame them. It was quite risky because how well could you know someone in just 90 days? Here’s the thing, from the moment I laid eyes on Michael, I felt like I’d already know him forever and I knew I had to make him my husband!

We actually met at an AA meeting and in the AA community that’s just taboo. The line they use is, “two sickies don’t make a wellie”, weird I know. I still say I get it though. I watched many relationships start and then fail very quickly and some ended with the people drinking together however, I knew that wouldn’t be us. My gut just told me. If anything I knew he’d be my rock and yes he’s helped me out of some tight spots in sobriety and I’m forever grateful for that.

I had many people pull me aside to tell me why I shouldn’t be with Michael and it fell on deaf ears. There were 2 people in particular that hated Michael and I getting together and moving our relationship along so quickly. They told us we couldn’t yet, here we are 15 years later and through thick and thin, our love is unconditional.

I don’t have it in me to take ONE day out of the year to “honor” it as the day I love my husband “more”. I don’t want elaborate gifts, I want unconditional love which he gives me daily. He doesn’t want gifts, he wants unconditional love which he gets daily. We just don’t need to say that Valentine’s Day is special because our love is special 365 Days a year.

I’ve actually seen relationships fail because the gift wasn’t good enough, the box of candy wasn’t big enough or maybe someone didn’t get the proposal that they were expecting! Sad. That’s what I view that as. We don’t do so much as a card because we don’t need to, we show our love daily.

Hey if Valentine’s Day is your thing then I’m happy for you. I don’t judge people that enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day, we just choose not to.

On Valentine’s Day I do show love but, to everyone! The same love I show them all year long. I will say Happy Valentine’s Day but, to all of you because if you’re reading this there’s a good chance I love you.

No matter what you do on this Valentine’s Day just please be safe. COVID is still alive and kicking around here and we still are taking all COVID precautions ♥️

I never saw myself writing a blog about this but, here I am. Phones. Cell phones in particular. You know the one? It’s probably in your hand right now but, I’m learning that they aren’t as widely accepted as I thought they were, let me explain.

So on December 27th I made the move to live with my dad. My dad is in his 70’s and he carries a flip-phone. He never has his phone in his hand unless he’s making a phone call. I happened to have my phone in my hand almost off of the time because my whole life is in it.

My phone holds the most precious photos and videos, my phone tells me where I have to be and also when, my phone has all of my important notes in it, I can pretty much say that my phone has almost everything In it!

My dad has been making subltle comments about me and my phone. At first I thought it was so weird but, is it? It is weird that I’m always grabbing my phone to snap a photo, watch a video, buy Crypto, work in my calendar or check a note. I do believe that I have my phone in my hand, way to much. He’s opened my eyes to this. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been considerate about when I use my phone. I don’t allow phones at the dinner table and if I’m talking on it I excuse myself. I think it’s very rude to carry on a phone conversation in front of anyone. So I’m mindful of my phone but, I’m guilty of having it in my hand to much.

I’m open to change and I’m also sensitive about how others feel. Maybe I made my dad feel less important than my phone? If he speaks to me I do stop what I’m doing and give him my full attention but, perhaps that’s not enough. So I’m working hard at putting my phone down. I don’t think anyone’s wrong or right in this situation but, I do see how people that don’t live “in the phone” could be put off by this.

When I go to pick up my phone now I ask myself a few questions.

1. What am I picking that phone up for?

2. Can it wait until I’m in my own private space?

3. Am I take attention away from someone just to be on my phone scrolling social media?

4. Is the timing appropriate or is this just me being bored?

Sometimes I do need that phone in my hands but, more times than others, I don’t. I believe that a lot with the phone is now habit. I also know that I started picking the phone up a lot more during the Pandemic. I also know this, I don’t ever want to make someone that doesn’t understand phone’s feel inferior to it. So I haven’t been on Social Media as much lately but, that’s ok because I’ve had a lot of work to do. I’m far more productive when I’m not picking up my phone to look at it, ever 20 minutes. I’m glad my dad opened my eyes to this. It’s very easy to just grab that phone and get lost in it.

Stay safe everyone ♥️

Well, when life throws you lemons you can’t keep letting the lemon juice burn your eyes. So with the latest lemons that were thrown, I embraced them with a positive attitude and a plan.

Along with Michael being sick, my dad had someone living with him that just suddenly moved out, without warning, horrible I know. I’ve been in such depression and I had finally pulled out and I wasn’t going to let this take me down. A quick talk with my dad and Michael and yes, I was going home. There was 1 HUGE problem...the upstairs, where we would be living needed a LOT of TLC! We figured out a budget and a plan and it was on! So today our bedroom became “almost” complete. Today I’ll share it with you through my photos. I’m not a master carpenter but, Michael has taught me a lot. Between him and I we got this room done so fast. We’ve got 2 more rooms to do and that’s coming next! I keep walking into to this room thinking, “I can’t believe that I did this”! I’ve never had much confidence but, this helped me feel really good! It was quite a project!

My mothers bedroom had a very deep closet. Whatever was in back was literally stuck there. We decided that her room would be our family room therefore, we didn’t need this deep closet.

This is our room. The decision was made to cut the wall and to utilize all of that extra space with a nice walk-in closet, on my bedroom side with bifold doors!

And it was cut!

This color was chosen by my daughter when she was just a young girl. That color and the 30 plus year old carpet just had to go!

This is a manufactured hardwood floor! What I loved the most about this is the fact that the floor just snaps together! Yes, you’ve gotta cut the end pieces but, easy peasy and looks so nice!

TOOLS! I LOVE tools and especially power tools. When Michael wasn’t sick I didn’t get to use them much, with him sick I get to use them much more!

Everything was trimmed out and painted. The white trim paint just popped with that wall color. I’m delighted at the way they blended. Floor, walls and trim.

The bed is in place and I’m absolutely thrilled with the room! The color, the floor, the everything, it’s just beautiful!

Tomorrow we have to get the bifold doors and hang them. All of the decorations must be picked out and purchased but, that wasn’t so important at the moment. I truly just wanted a nice living space and I had zero time to get it done. Leaving my dad alone was not an option. We celebrated Christmas and I was out the door and living with my dad. I’m all about my family and I will walk through fire to take care of them. I know that my parents took good care of me and I took care of my mom, until her very late breath and now I’m with my dad. I’ll take care of my dad and Michael under one roof. I believe I was put on this earth to be a caregiver, therefore I feel I’m right where I belong. Keep throwing lemons and I’ll keep making lemonade!

Thank you for checking this out and please stay..safe and healthy ♥️

”You’ll be going home with you father at some point, Mark my words” muttered my mother from her deathbed. Well, mother’s always right I guess. My brother made it 1 year and now he’s gone. He left in anger and he’s not communicating. I can only focus on things that I can fix therefore, I have to let him go. I believe he’s in the anger part of mourning because he’s blamed me for “killing our mother” because I provided her Hospice care, something I wish I never did but, I made a promise to her many years ago and you’re only as good as your word.

So I haven’t had the opportunity to get on in blog because there’s so much involved with moving. It’s not just that. I allowed my brother to rent a lot of space in my head because I also promised my mother that I’d take care of him however, you can’t take care of someone that chooses to walk away. I’ve moved past this and I’m finally at peace with it. I can’t afford to dwell. That brings me to dark places and to be honest, I just got out of that dark place and I’m not trying to go back. So I’ve let it go. I’ve turned it over, I’ve acknowledged that I’m powerless and I’m putting 110% into what I can help with.

You’d think that moving back to your childhood home would be fun and exciting but, I’m not going to lie, it’s been a bit stressful. We are giving up our home and I do love that home so much but, in the end it’s just a house and my father is far more important than that. I shared previously that Michael was so understanding and went right along with what needed to be done. Moving.

My mother received an inheritance when her parents passed away. They passed within months of on another and my mom got the money that was left to her. She decided at that point to redo the house to “my liking” because the house would be left to me. I sat with my parents and gave them my wishes as to what I’d like to see done in the house. I picked wood walls. I picked knotty pine for the walls. There’s just something about wood walls that I find so appealing. There was a full bathroom put In downstairs and it’s absolutely beautiful.

Now we get to the upstairs. The upstairs has been closed off basically since my mom passed. Nobody was ready to do anything up there. That of course changed when this sudden move was upon us. The plan has been made and some walls are coming down. My favorite part of the upstairs in this plan is my moms room becoming a “family room”. How beautiful, right? To sit with my children and grandchildren in the very room that my mother loved so much will truly help keep her sprit alive.

I know I made the right decision. I knew it the day my brother walked out the door. Is life easy? No. Is it impossible? No. I am a survivor, I am Kathie’s daughter. It was always mom and I against the world. I spent 17 years in that bedroom taking care of my beautiful mother. Now I’ll spend the next 17 making memories with my children and grandchildren in the very same room.

I’ve already started staying with my dad. Michael comes to us and then he goes home and our adult daughter is there to watch over him. Team players, that’s what I raised and I’m so proud of that. I am only 1 person and I can’t do it all. With the way things are right now, everyone has someone and that’s very important to me.

I don’t know what 2021 holds for all of us but, my momma told me that on January 1st you’re handed a blank book and this now was your opportunity to write your story for the year. I’m hoping my pages are filled with love, joy and happiness. I also hope that you all have books that are filled with the same.

Happy New Year to everyone and remember that book is your book to write so make the best of it. Be safe and know that I love and appreciate all of my supporters ♥️🎆