Off pause!!
On Wednesday, November 18th, at approximately 10:40pm, I went off self-induced pause! In other words I managed to turn off the process that drives Parkinson's. What an amazing feeling!
Of course things aren't always as simple as we might hope, are they? About 36 hours after going off pause I slipped back on pause (in response to a minor stressor), managed to get back off the next day (!), and later slipped back on again.
So as I write this I am back on pause (though seemingly not as deeply so as before), not enjoying the feeling, but feeling content in the knowledge I can and will turn it off again, probably soon. In the meantime I need to add in some focus on preventing a reversion to pause the next time. If you're familiar with Janice Walton-Hadlock's writings, you know that requires reactivating the long-dormant sympathetic mode to be able to deal normally with stressors.
To me, the Cat Stevens version of “Morning has Broken” comes closer than any other song I can think of to capturing the feeling of coming off pause all at once. Much more later!