The somewhat provocative title of this post is a nod to Simone de Beauvoir's famous book, “The Second Sex”, where sex is a somewhat quaint word for gender.
As an aside, a quote that has stuck with me from that book is: “a woman finds her value in her reflection in a man's eyes.”
And: “a young girl is taught from toddler-age that she has to behave in a feminine way. She must not open her legs wide; she must make sure her skirt does not reveal her panties while she is playing with other four-year-old children... These norms are imposed by a congregation of much older women, who confine her with a multitude of rules that delineate feminine behaviour and un-feminine behaviour.”
Okay, back to my post.
If the second sex is female, and the first sex is male, what is the third sex? I submit that the Third Sex is the male that crumbles apart in a family context, when he navigates married life with a spouse. Suddenly he finds that his own boyhood has not prepared him to handle the storms in “adult” life. All his life he has whined about – and resented – his domineering father, and now, suddenly, he himself has a mewing infant in his arms.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
– Gospel of Matthew, chapter 5, verse 9
It is interesting how the Buddha has calmed down the warriors of two separate clans, who were on the verge of a war. (the story is there.)
I didn't set out to be a mediator. But, lest readers think more of me than my low estate, I shall keep the details of certain shenanigans to myself. Suffice to say that both professional workplaces and domestic abodes have seen their share of strife, whether overt or covert.
I have been working hard to find a peace-of-mind, which is so sought-after and yet so elusive. (Not even Prime Ministers and business-owners may find this peace-of-mind, though they may certainly boast of more gold bullions and nuclear bombs than me.)
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep;
'God is not dead, nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail, the Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!'
– H. W. Longfellow
I have never had a father’s protection from danger, and I have never had a mother’s tender touch.
Every passer-by could see I was lost and abandoned, but no one had the willingness to help; or, even if they had, they lacked the ability. They shook their heads, and said, “it’s sad to see this”, and then went on with their lives.
Trigger warning: this article contains scenes of violence and childhood trauma.
Growing up through childhood trauma, TONY had always wanted to escape from his family. This trauma would follow him through the years as he slipped into depression and alcohol addiction during university.
But as Tony wandered and lay aimlessly in Chinatown in the middle of the night… God reached out to him. This was the start of Tony’s road to recovery, as he discovered the love he had longed for all this time was to be found in Jesus.
I am a victim of child abuse.
Growing up, I experienced physical and emotional abuse from my parents, who were always very strict with me.
While I recognise that some of these rules and restrictions were for my good, I found that my parents’ reactions and way of implementing these rules were often out of hand.