Very often people discuss without discussing. A person speaks and the other person hears but does not listen because he already has in mind what he is going to say and he is in a hurry to say it.
We all tend to do this, to different degrees. When I realize I'm doing it, I immediately pay more attention to what my interlocutor is saying. Sometimes I pause before answering to let the other person really finish what they have to say.
My depression has now largely subsided thanks to medication and time, but my cognition is shot and I lost my job and my flat (I now live with my parents). I had/have to relearn mostly everything, so I laid down 4 fundamentals and a plan.