Professor Toad's Swamp

An exciting new biography of German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, based on a careful examination of all the available sources, has concluded that in his sixty one years of life the great thinker never actually came into physical contact with a single blade of grass.

In contrast, successive generations of biographers of Karl Marx have absolutely refused to discuss his rumored extensive activities in city parks, back gardens, clear spots in junkyards, and overgrown stretches of town dumps, invariably retreating into disgusted silence when asked.