Father, husband, OCD sufferer, tech geek, and mental health advocate.

I love gaming; I prefer it over sitting and watching TV but, times have changed drastically. Games used to be released with little to no bugs, you would pay for a game and you received a mostly bug free experience. Now though, it seems like every new release has devastating bugs that ruin any enjoyment you may have.

Yes, Outriders is one of those games. I played last night again, and it went much smoother than before. However, the inventory bug still exists. A loot game that is based on builds around your gear, has a bug that can wipe out hours of progress in an instant. That is some garbage!

Anthem, one of my most anticipated games before it came out, launched in such a despicable state that it never recovered. The core gameplay was awesome, but the bugs and the lack of any meaningful progress destroyed any potential that it had. Their promised Anthem 2.0 refresh has been shelved and as it stands, I think the games servers will be unplugged within a year.

These are just the games that I have played and had high hopes for that have almost unbearable bugs. There are so many games that I would need months to write them all down that launch like this. Hopefully, this practice of releasing trash ends soon.

Maybe if Microsoft, Sony, Steam, etc. start handing refunds out for games that have severe bugs like Outriders and Anthem, developers will begin to QA their code before release.

I hate to write a post like this but, Outriders is looking like a fail like Anthem. The core gameplay is excellent, the loot is awesome, and the class variety is great. However, it is not ready for prime time. This game is half baked and full of bugs.

First off, the matchmaking is utter crap. Seriously, during your endgame loot runs, you pick join a group for expeditions. No joke, 90% of the games you join, the party leader is AFK. Then, when you get into a game where your party is actually playing, you end up disconnected. I feel like I have had successfully joined games that went through to completion maybe, 2 or 3 percent of the time. It is rough.

Next, the bugs are unbearable. There have been a ton of people on the Outriders Reddit that have had their entire inventories wiped. This is a freaking looter. Gamers are spending hours gathering the right loot to make their builds just right. I have seen multiple people quit because of this bug. What a terrible first impression.

Speaking of min/maxing your builds. Now People Can Fly is nerfing a bunch of builds that players have worked hard to achieve. Now, if this game was PVP, I would understand but, it is not. PCF has no plans for anything other than co-op. What is the point of nerfing classes? Once again, they are taking away people’s time spent working on builds. Who cares if the game is unbalanced, instead of nerfing, how about you just bring up the other classes?

I want to like this game. It’s core is something that has the power to be around for quite a while. It’s Diablo but with guns, which on paper, sounds fun. I am not so sure the devs are going to be able to dig themselves out of this hole. They lost a lot of trust from their player base already. Luckily, I am playing this on gamepass or else I’d be contacting Microsoft for a refund.

My previous post has shown that I am enjoying the heck out of Outriders and that is 100% true. However, I am having a real hard time with the endgame and matchmaking with other players. Endgame is fun, when it works but, I am having huge issues getting it to run properly.

My issues usually pertain to matchmaking itself. I either join a game to get immediately kicked out. This is super annoying. Anyone who plays Outriders, if you do not want people to join your game, please set your game as private! By default, Outriders has your game open to the public, which is great to get people to matchmake. The issue is, many people don’t realize that they need to make this change themselves. I think some tooltips or maybe once the person kicks someone, it automatically sets their game to private.

My other issues with Outriders is the connection quality. I have my Xbox gigabit wired, and the lag is unbearable on around 80% of the games I end up joining. This sucks because you end up wanting to stay in the game because you FINALLY joined one that you aren’t getting kicked from. These two things combined make me want to shelve Outriders until they get their stuff together.

These issues really suck for the multiplayer experience, but I still suggest picking the game up. It is a great time for the single player campaign and I have not had issues with lag while soloing. Part of the fun is playing through the story and choosing which class to focus on leveling up. They are promising fixes soon so, hopefully the endgame experience gets much better.

Holy crap, Outriders is amazing. I have been playing it for the past 2 days (I used New Zealand as my location on Xbox), and I am enjoying the heck out of it. I already finished the story on one character and I am running through it again on another one. People Can Fly has done an outstanding job with this one.

PCF does not have the greatest track record for stories in games. The Bulletstorm story was utter trash. The writing was laughable and, well, it just was not something that I could invest my time into. Outriders has changed all that.

I won’t get into details regarding the story because I do not want to spoil it but, I liked it. It was an enjoyable romp through a scifi world. There were a few things that I did not see coming. It was cool. I really enjoyed it and am hoping PCF keeps the content flowing to this game.

The character I started with was the Devastator class. It is Outriders “Tank” class. This class is all about rocks, earth, and gravity. If you chose Devastator as your first character, you can expect to be in your enemies’ faces, reflecting bullets, and causing massive earthquakes that send your foes flying. It is a super fun class! Definitely something to get used to as the Devastator is, that you are going to be using cover a lot less than a Pyromancer or Technomancer. It is an interesting class, a cover based shooter with a class that you don’t use cover for? You are literally a human wrecking ball.

Another really cool feature is gearing your character. The equipment in this game actually changes the way you play. There are mods on gear that allow you to do different things, like using a skill twice before it is on cooldown. I really like this for endgame because you can tailor your character to exactly what you want them to do.

Anyway, I am going to get back to playing a bit more. I am having fun although; I am struggling to find people to matchmake with currently. I mean, the game just came out and I am sitting here at endgame wondering why no one is available to play with. I will give it some time and run some expeditions to get new gear.

During my time with OCD, I kept going on in my head, thinking that I would never get better. Please, don’t do that! It is already hard enough trying to focus on treatment and dealing with the day-to-day struggles of OCD. Give yourself a break, let the process work, and keep pushing forward.

This was one of my biggest hurdles. Getting out of the mindset that I was going to be scarred by this mental disorder. Every single day, there was a worry that was almost constantly on my mind. “Will I ever be normal again?” or “This is how I am going to be, I have to live like this and accept it”. Don’t do this to yourself if you can help it. I think it caused me to take two steps forward and three steps back. It really put a damper on my progress.

Once I let OCD go, I got better. OCD sucks bad but, to get better, acknowledge its presence and let it go. Don’t ignore it though, as that can be an avoidance compulsion. Think of it as seeing something out of the corner of your eye, you glance at it, then you go on about your day. This is what you need to do with your OCD. If you are thinking about OCD, you are most likely ruminating, which is a compulsion!

I hope some of this stuff is helpful to anyone with OCD. I know how lost I was on my journey and I found comfort in hearing about other people’s journey and success. I can’t wait for this blogging platform to allow comments. I want to get to know you all and interact with anyone who may read this.

I’m not a Microsoft fanboy by any means but this new Xbox is amazing. Everything fits just right. The controller is an improvement, I personally, like the way it looks, it is much smaller than I thought it was going to be. The fans on this thing are silent, unlike previous generations of the Xbox, I can enjoy gaming without turning the volume up loud.

Gaming has been smooth. The new controller is light but still feels like quality. As my previous posts have stated, I have been playing the Outriders demo. This game is fun as heck. To me, it is a mix of Gears of War with Destiny’s loot. The feeling when you get that new piece of gear is cool.

I also really like the abilities that the classes have. They are pretty distinguishable from each other which is good. I have been using the technomancer because I like long range fighting and the turrets you can throw on the battlefield.

There are a few quirks that are kind of off putting. The cover system is a bit wonky. It doesn’t feel as good as Gears, which is my gold standard for these types of shooters. There have also been some complaints about the amount of cutscenes there are in the game. I 100% agree with this. I am pretty sure the devs are trying to hide the loading screens but goodness, I hate seeing a cutscene when I open a dang door! The cutscenes in the demo are locked at 30 FPS I believe. To be fair, the devs are taking away this cap in the full version.

I’m most excited to play a new co-op only game with my buddies online. I’m getting older and my reflexes aren’t great anymore. Something that I can enjoy with my friends without being super competitive is going to be a breath of fresh air.

I have been super busy at work lately! One of my old coworkers was pretty old school and told me that teleworking is only for people that want to start their weekends early. This so false that it isn’t even funny!

I started to telework about a year ago because of COVID. As for the statement above from my old work acquaintance, he could not have been more wrong. I have found productivity has increased a ton! No one is late from commuting, I have found people work and eat voluntarily, and I have that I am saving a ton of time from random people barging into my work station for no reason.

I miss all that stuff, aside from commuting. I miss people coming to say hi to me during the day. However, I have gotten so used to working from home that I don’t really know how I am going to adjust when I go back. I am a little nervous, to be honest. I am hoping they make this arrangement permanent.

If they do make teleworking a forever thing, I am moving. My family and I are going to move somewhere warmer and with a much lower cost of living. We like where we live because of family, but it is so expensive. Having extra money because of cheaper housing would be amazing and a big quality of life bump.


I have written about my OCD and I wanted to write a positive post about how I am doing right now. I’ll be honest, my Harm OCD had me quit gaming for a long while. It always worried me when I played games. I thought I would “like” violence aspect of certain games a bit too much. I thought it would fuel me going “crazy”.

Obviously this is stupid. OCD is just noise in your brain and has nothing to do with who you are or what you are going to become. The hard part is, trying to convince yourself of this when you have OCD is the wrong way to go about healing yourself.

I figured this out and finally got better. Now, I have ordered an Xbox Series X! I am really excited to get back into gaming in some of my free time. I know I can enjoy it again without OCD jumping in and ruining it for me.

OCD is not you, and it is not me either. Don’t let it take over the things you like to do. This is the opposite of what you should do in these situations. Please visit to find yourself a therapist and get on the right track to feeling better.

Next stop, Outriders demo on my new Xbox!

I have been messing around a bit with the new Outriders demo. I am trying to enjoy it but I am struggling to have consistency with GeForce Now. It is unfortunate because I really like the idea of the service.

I currently own Macs and I cannot run any games for Windows. The next best thing was GeForce Now. I thought streaming would be awesome. I have gigabit Fios and an eero pro WiFi 6 setup. What else could I need to run pretty much any PC game that I want?

I am just going to be flat out honest here. It runs like garbage on my set up. There will be moments that I am thinking WOW! This is amazing! But, more often than not, I am underwhelmed and frustrated. I click the left mouse button to fire and there is a noticeable lag to when my character fires his gun. To me, it is unplayable. I hope it gets better but, as of right now, I am cancelling my founders subscription and I was able to buy a Xbox Series X.

I am terrible with money. I get the ooo shiny feeling whenever I see something new that interests me. It is really becoming a problem that I need to reign in.

I don’t fully blame my OCD for this but, it is a big part of it. I tend to research a ton of stuff all the time to keep my mind busy on things other than my intrusive thoughts. Doing this causes me to find something that I want to buy, then, I buy it. It makes me feel like crap because I am taking away chances for my wife and daughter to get things, or even to save.

I have to stop this. This is not good and I need to find another avenue to spend my time. Blowing money is not fair to anyone and I have to get it under control. I am considering canceling my credit cards and going all debit. Can’t spend money with one of those that you don’t have!

Sorry for the ranting. I am just beating myself up over this today. Hopefully, this is a wake up call that will finally get me to change my habits. I am almost feeling like this may be a compulsion. I research to get away from intrusive thoughts, then I buy something to make me feel better. I wonder what my therapist would say about this. Might be time to schedule an appointment.

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