Worst Programming Language Names

edit: I'm compelled to specify that this post is not to be taken seriously, it's satire if you want and most of the statements are ironical in nature. Don't take it literally.

Inspired by this post I've decided to write a post about the worst programming Language Names.

Programmers are often notoriously bad at naming things and sometimes managers help them too. This produced many specimens of badly named languages that made it harder to use and discuss them. Here are the ones I dislike the most.


How is it pronounced? Sequel or S.Q.L? And then a Sequel to what? It's too old, all those remember are probably dead or working as clerks now. Don't get me started with all the problems it creates with PostsgreSQL. Is it Postgres or Postgre?


Go. Go where? And why? How is a novice supposed to Google it? Should we just call it Golang? It sounds too Oriental.


Can you at least make an effort and come up with a real name? It's not a name, it's a letter. If I call a variable “c” everybody gets mad, but apparently it's fine to call a language “C”.


Scala is a shortening of Scalable. Fair enough, that's clear. But in Italian it also means stairs. Therefore the logo is the staircase of an EPFL building, where Scala has been developed. The problem is that stairs are not really scalable. Also Teatro alla Scala is a very famous Opera House in Milan and it happened at least once that a lady came to the Milan Scala Meetup with a little kid, expecting it to be about Opera or something like that. They sat through the whole talk. It was something about monads. It's always about monads. Well, they should have picked a less ambiguous name.


I've recently entered the community and started to learn the language. I still sometimes forget to write “Ponylang” and Google keeps reminding me that the target audience of My Little Pony is single guys with hygiene problems. I just want to share mutable state between my actors without facing the horrors produced by modern society. Sean, I'm disappointed.