Welcome to my New Blog.
Here is a doozy of a first post, which goes all over the place.
Instead of Posting an “about me” entry, I'll just do that later, and instead jump right into what is on my mind this very second.
The general format of this blog though are personal reflections and perhaps some observations, but I have another blog to talk about the rest of the world. It's www.earthbound.news.
So, here's what is just a sliver from the moment this crossed my mind..
(If you check back on this later you may notice editing or updating of sections, this is because I typically just publish first drafts of everything.. I am ** too ** busy, by traditional standards, or trying to “take on too much,” but in response to that potential secondary critique, I have spent the past 20 years methodically training my mind to focus on nothing except if I put something into it,
– .. barring of course a major stimulus response event, like something spontaneously combust next to me, I am so focused and disciplined I can choose to focus on one thing, or nothing, and when I focus on nothing, I am guided by [my intuition], [my instinct], [spirit], [god,], [my higher power], [buddha], [krishna,] [jehova,], [jesus], etc.. its the same thing.. Yes its the same thing. (I feel anyway, with respect to your customs and traditions.)
Think about it a moment. Moving right along since that's not what I'm writing about, but of course as religion and faith and possibility are popular topics, and I am no stranger to finding them a myriad of fascination and quagmire both – we eventually will attend to writing about some of those things, in some capacity. Please hold, Jesus is running late to your lunch date, would you like to extend your Uber? (More on all this later.) But don't trip, your parents exist, or did at some point. ;–)
So back to my “method,” -
I am doing less waste action, because I trained my mind to focus on nothing, I usually just make a bullet point list of things i want to have done by the end of the day, sit down, think about nothing, at some point i pick up my coffee cup and drink it, at some point I smoke, and at some point I start working. I stop here and there. I take a nap if I feel like it. I may unplug my phone for a short period (but you can still leave a message), but there are varying degrees of focus occurring, peppered by meals and what-ever-else stuff, and eventually sleep or leisure time.
But work is leisure time, if you have the right mindset and aren't digging ditches. But even digging ditches can be that too in mental and thusly created and associated framework experientially, by the ditch digger. The power of belief is 4/5ths less an actual thing. That's why it's “powerful.” The power of belief. I know you've heard that. So, slowly we're going to pepper this blog with etymology lessons, and linguistics and mathematics lessons, as I see it fitting, oh and logic and rhetoric and a whole bunch of other stuff.
This will be fun.
But my method? I only focus on one thing at a time, but i dont even know what the task is, i just know my bullet point objectives, and may have a separate document for each project (i do,) with details and particulars i haven't committed to memory yet, or are so important weather or not they are memorable they track the ontology of the project and thus are requisite for the structure of the notes, but otherwise the entire day is fucking fly by the seat of your instinctual pants, nap and eat shit, and play with the cat. Not a bad shake. I only schedule meetings with other people, but nothing with myself. (because I assume I already know without having to try or look for a thing to do...........).
** So, here we are.. **
The actual thought:
I have been recovering from a very long term series of catastrophic injuries which have taught me a lot. This is a note to self as I round the corner on finally remedying the root causes of those injuries, 12 years after I started trying to heal.
(In 2005 I had a near fatal car accident, in which I was nearly decapitated, and then proceeded to crash the car into the cement divider at full speed.) a few months later, I experienced enough psychedelic drugs to make most people probably expect not to come back (but if you understand bio-kinetics-and-pharmacology you'd understand really it was just a very large dose.), village hearsay fables of fantasia be damned.
Then in 2008, while walking to work one morning, after having danced ALL night the previous evening (from about 10pm till about 4:18am), (because I was scheduled for work and standing there at 4:25 when this happened.) .. and “time resumed” ie “it became 430” . because from 4:18 to 4:25 i was in strange company.
-First I was asked what time it was. I held up my bare wrists and politely informed them I did not know.
-Next, they asked “if they could see my wallet.” I removed my wallet, and prostrated its contents- and apologized. “This is all I got, I've been out of work, I just started this new job, I'm sorry.” and I held out the $2.00.
-You can imagine what happened next, since contextually this is being mentioned inside this blog about my life.
-For the next (roughly 4:20 to 4:25), I was brutally punched and kicked, without notice it was going to occur, from a few seconds following the guy taking the two dollars, but .... ** from the opposite side of him (he was on my right front), and I was suddenly kicked in the kidney. The left one.
Then I was punched in the right side of my head by the guy who took the two dollars, (presuming he didnt move.) Then I got punched in the middle of my lower back. Then I got kicked by what felt and was a left foot somewhere else, too fast for it to have been that second guy, but then he moved and confirmed he existed, forming a tight triangle around me. Then there was the fourth guy, who walked over and punched me straight in the face after the other guy had gotten done kicking. ** when I say brutal i am not fucking embellishing, ** they formed a box around me, and took turns punching and kicking until I was nearly dead.
How did it stop? I nearly collapsed. In fact, I was blacking out. Had my head hit the ground as I went down, or had they managed to hit it or kick it, I would not be writing this blog post. I'm sure of that.
Instead of fully hitting the ground, I managed to get a low squat going, and then I pushed up with all my might, locking target on the guy directly in front of me, and when I got up to full height, I continued with one solid movement from the ground position I began in, and punched him so goddamn hard in his jaw that my fist did not lose any resistance until it ran into the air...
and I saw the bones in the corners of his face sticking out, and eesh it was gross, but his jaw was broken clean off, and could not close on its own. His eyes had popped out like a cartoon when I hit him, and popped back into his skull, from the force of impact.. I may be peaceful but I am powerful.
Also, I had a pocket knife in my pocket for cutting open boxes for work, am very grateful they did not find it , but I did not think for even a split second to use it on them. Nor would I have, had I remembered it was there.
I humbled away after they ran off into the subway after they saw their buddy, and walked home. My buddy was at my apartment from the night before, I'd tossed him my apartment keys and suggested he go take a nap (which he was doing when I got home), and he woke up and asked me “what .... hAApened?” I said “I got jumped.” he said, brother you're a warrior, did you go to the hospital yet? I said yeah, I just got back from there. I had walked there and then went home. Sorry, it's hard to tell a story like this even though you may gloss the periphery thousands of times, a small detail like “did I go home first or to the hospital?” may obscure until you see it in print.
Anyway, the hospital was fun. I wasn't there long, and I was very nice, and informative, and they were not helpful for shit. But that is par for their course, and another story entirely, likely never worth writing about.
(I am working at learning markdown, these blogs will have better and better formatting as we go along..)
The note to self is this: “As you see the patterns and feel them come up that are closer and closer to the injury date itself, you will uncover further and further levels of “debris” cleared elector-magnetically and physically, spiritually and emotionally- (and finally aetherically too.) There is an ** inextricable ** connection between a trauma, and its affect on a persons delta in-congruence in their behavioral patterning, is what I'm learning, more-so than commonly understood, or even therapeutically discussed, if I am correct about this hunch.
When you finally re-experience the injury to clear it, and really feel that pain the same or don't but the result is you're okay with it, I'm thinking it should be done. I say thinking because I haven't fixed it yet and am uncertain if this kind of thing has its own category, or even if such a thing is needed. Odds are it isn't, and a thing is a thing and doesn't even need a name. After all, does your dog actually write out its name, or speak it or does your neighbor know your dogs name without you telling it to him?
Names are subjective – is my point here.
They don't mean anything. They represent things, as symbols in speech, or in your mind and thinking.
So the injury should just pass, and my registry of the earlier stages both physically and mentally and emotionally, and (lately experientially) as well, a very strange odor I recall from a decade ago, various feelings, and other patterns, (the odor is long gone), but that kind of thing stands out, and I see the pattern and timing regressing and matching perfectly with key events memorable to the past 10 years, and the period now I am experiencing weirdness from the memory dept-
That stuff is from 2010. The injuries were in 2008. So we are pretty damn close. Coincidentally, (not coincidentally at all, I feel ten years younger than I did 6 months ago.)
This whole process is weird. I cannot stress that enough. But .. You live.
You adjust. You choose to be happy, and you do it again. And each night you resolve to lay down and wake up again and do cool meaningful stuff the following day. And if all goes well you wake up. :–)
Okay, I'll talk more with you folk later.
Just know, this process has been one of the most difficult I've navigated in my entire life, due to the complexity of it affecting many things, and that is saying a lot- I have been through a lot of things else-wise.
But the note to self: As you approach the finish line, be gentle, be patient, be observant, but don't look- just go about happily your normal business, just be aware there will be an increase in temporary intense stuff, but it's almost over with, and it's nothing you can't handle- and it won't last- it's clearing out and temporary, so when it happens don't ... “respond.”
No thinking needed. To be non-reactionary and observant without effort is in most cases the pinnacle of power, because of its agility in station.
What is station? A definite physical position, or relative situationally dependent one planned to be received as imagined, but in the near or immediate future. Station is also the command of ones resources and will power, of ones discipline and focus, ..........yes dummy, the ability to create magic. And bring things into reality, or excise them from your reality, without destroying them (in 98% of all cases anyway.)
You really can have what you want. You've just been taught the wrong methods, and have been thinking about it wrong. That's 2/5 wrong. Odds are the way you went about it was wrong because of those two, then you're 3 for 5, and the only things left are your spiritual resolve (willpower) and your aetheric formulae of the event contributing to your template out there in space (the air out there) (and down here) (and down there- under water). So you will lose.
You gotta do the 4/5 right and then your in the gold. But anyway, that all brings up a very complex thing that isnt complex but has been made so – which is called in neu hippie circles which are now the “boomers” – “manifesting.” Do you see how stupid names are, and how easy it is to mislead with them? Start learning to see things for what they are, and how they act, and try to remember those two details over time, you get a third characteristic – a pattern, if the behavior changes or deals in quantity or outcome- this is helpful.
Slowly but surely, I'm going to teach you the weird stuff and strategy I use to think. I don't expect anything of you, but if you happen to learn a thing or two, the extra effort will be worth it.
Plus, as it is currently planned anyway, you will be able to search for books by hash tagged category later, when they are around, and they will be basically similar to the cliff notes series – except I cannot call it that so I don't get litigated, but you will be able to buy them or browse them on (https://www.howto-thing.com) “Howto-Thing” or “How To Do That Thing” -
So you can support the author, (they wont be expensive), and you can learn stuff and keep the information in your own e-book library, or your phone, SD card, Kindle, iPad, email, zip disk, printed out on a hard copy (also available for sale), or printed out on an ink-jet put in a shoe-box put in a safe with your disaster supplies, whatever your preference -
soon you will be able to buy my know-how on a great many topics by subject, and own it forever! and benefit from it, forever! and share it with your friends (but please send them to the site don't send them all the files man), just tell them about it and how it's helped you if it did.
That to me is the greatest compliment, and the best marketing. I don't need to be validated with words or a compliment or a gift, your gift to me is your personal growth, and sending me the cash for the book so I can continue to write and help people without having to do the 25 different jobs I currently do and manage all at once....
Whomever said free-lancing was easy was a time traveler from a place without a scarcity based economic cog-and-fly-wheel-type-system...
But about 60% of this blog was unplanned and meant for later, so that is my cue to actually eat my dinner. It's what happens when I'm hungry – ideas start flowing in too fast to do anything and eventually they stop, and I fall asleep. So, because I am not done yet, I eat, and then do more cool shit.
Then I sleep.
But back to your message of the day-
** It's okay. **
** All is well. **
So all that and some other sauce , sides and main courses were the learning and lessons for today, but this is perhaps the most pertinent and salient- the most important...
The one about going slow, being patient with the self. This is one way to support yourself, to go slowly- and don't force yourself or your body to do things it shows resistance to, either physical, emotional, or yeah. If there is resistance, there is a reason. If the # of variables present are limited, deduction is a relative surety. However, that was not advice, nor a course in logic, just a partial match on the outcome based on operators and such.
Oh, but station is discipline and responsbility, and the “location” or “station” it gets you in life. (The results of your efforts.)
So, that was my lesson for today, and maybe it applies to you too, but if not then hey, look at that- I was vulnerable, and you were interested enough to read it. Perhaps someday, we will find a shared commonality, a mutual respect, and a proximal geographic location, and can be friends.
:–) ~perhaps not too though,
due to the variability of of the universe,
* and all that. *
Oh, and Hi. This will be here a while this is my new diary. There is also a daily “public facing” site, (https://www.earthbound.news) Earthbound News – and well – the (https://www.agglomerator.blog) Agglomerator is more for some other things coming up, but I wanted to introduce it to you and then leave it until it does what it's meant to.. So you know it's there, and have time to book mark it, subscribe via email, or subscribe via RSS, because things will be announced there later.... (and maybe here, but definitely there.)
~ Be. Do. Actualize.