The Problem with 4:30pm
I really enjoy work.
Like a lot.
More than work, I just like the work day.
My job allows me a lot of freedom and allows me to be independent and work on my own schedule as long as I am getting my work done.
I am able to take longer lunch breaks or run errands or exercise or work from wherever or work on side projects here and there.
So the work day is a huge time of opportunity and excitement and freedom.
Something I feel a guilty about is the end of the work day.
I don't look forward to it.
That is the time that my kids get home and I switch to full dad mode.
Don't get me wrong I really love my kids and I love hanging out with them, but that time becomes more of a waiting and duty mode – waiting until bed time and doing everything to get the kids ready for the next day, get them fed, and get them ready for bed.
After that, Maria and I just chill together and kick up our feet.
So I look forward to waking up and going to work, then I look forward to our evening chill time, then I look forward to work again.
That sucks.
I think one reason why this is the case is that I don't feel I have enough time in the evenings with the kids to do a whole bunch.
We either 1. sit on the couch and watch kids shows, or 2. play in the playroom. Because the kids get home around 4:30, dinner is around 5, Joel goes to sleep at 6, and Lina goes to sleep around 7.
So what all can we do or where all can we go for a tiny 30 minute or less window?
Not to mention it's currently winter and cold, it gets dark early, and we don't really want to be spending money.
I need to think some more about how I can make these evenings with my kids count. How I can make them more enjoyable for THEM? In doing so, I know they will be more enjoyable for me.
The short of it is I'm selfish, lazy and not content.
But at heart I am a creative person and I need to be more creative and thoughtful about these tiny windows of time I have with my kids because before too long, those windows won't exist as they do now.
Those kids won't be as little as they are now.
And I don't want to miss a thing.