Stoner Mom Diaries | Nosce te ipsum

Any mom, any town, USA. I am your neighbor/co-worker/PTO member/non-traditional grad school candidate/aspiring chef/stoner mom.

It's fucking Monday. Which means that Murphy's Law shall (and will) apply. Wait for it. So, my furnace died (I've been telling my landlord it's going to happen – FYI), I have a semi-narcopathic graduate school professor who assigns arbitrary (read: impossible) homework, and depositing a tax return check (paper) has become some weird scene out of Matrix (Agent Smith style). Because, the IRS apparently lost my direct deposit information and needed to send the check in paper form. Because, they had my direct deposit information back in June. Because, this is what I get for filing that fucking Federal 1040-X (the IRS really doesn't enjoy paying out, for the record). Murphy's. Law. In. Full. Effect.

Ergo, I'm now comfortably numb. Thank you, Pink Floyd. Thank you, local cannabis dispensary peeps. Because, my shitty Monday has become a mere thought bubble that drifted away. After popping that 1906 edible, I got it together. Here's how I dealt with this bullshit: I purchased an awesome DuraFlame space-heater-that-looks-like-a-fireplace. My Ecobee reports a comfortable 67 degrees F (science nerd/returning graduate student who habitually labels things like degrees, distance, and all things measurement-related). OH – did I mention I then had a legit excuse to eat cheeseburgers and fries for dinner – with my six year old. Because, shitty Monday's call for shitty food. The kind of food adults love to pretend they don't touch, then binge eat when stoned AF (you know you do it – don't judge).

Saying “legalized cannabis” feels like the grownup way of saying, “let's rip a bong hit, dude”. Legit. It's the Grey Poupon version, now. I'm not sure when it actually became chic, but I will gladly take it over being hungover from Herradura. Real talk: I am an uber happy stoner mom who resides in a state that allows for both medical and recreational cannabis use. Frankly, since the onset of all things COVID – I cannot imagine my life without.

I have a term I've recently (sort of) coined. WTHF (What The Holy Fuck).

WTHF (defined): loosely translated, WTF on steroids. It's what I mutter anytime I interact with snobby/judgmental/quasi-narcopathic/narrow-minded/self-entitled-important people. Projection, Your Honor (see what I did there…). Side note: I often mutter this when something just doesn’t add up. A-hole people, or a-hole situations.

I've learned that I really, honestly do not mind spending time alone. I enjoy having a small, close-knit group of friends. Why, because I no longer feel like going out and dealing with large crowds of people. Dude, I went out – when I was 22. OK, liar, liar – 32. I'm kind of done. I don't really drink (it doesn't agree with me). And, the last time I was hungover around my child, she was two. I. Hated. That. Day. I didn't like the mother I was – irritable, annoyed, and sick. All the while, my daughter smiled, cooed, and played. I felt terribly, horribly wrong about that situation.

So, I re-discovered something hadn't done in quite some time – cannabis. Legalized. It takes the edge off. I'm much more outgoing, less stressed, and probably (OK, definitely) a better parent. I'm not wasting time at a chain-store pharmacy for some mediocre fill of Xanax (nope, Dr. X, I require more than 4 pills per month to chill out). Instead, I get to go to really cool dispensaries, and have awesome conversations about edibles, wax, vape, and bud. I get to hear funny stories from the security guards who work there (consensus is that cannabis from Cali is the best – just watch your edible intake, my friends).

Simply put, I've found a way to be a better version of me. I look at the bright side of things, versus the dark. I may need to ask my best friend to remind me where I'm going with a story – but, it's all good.

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Dear single moms out there – I salute you (using AC/DC song verses is a passion of mine – true story). Real talk – this shit is not easy. It's why cannabis exists. It doesn't make you a bad parent. Most likely, the opposite. Let's face it, data science doesn't lie (arguably). You're better off using cannabis versus cocaine on the weekend (not passing an ounce of judgment – please – rip lines if that's your thing). Since the onset of the pandemic, cannabis use has also increased amongst parents. Statistically, and A LOT. It just so happens to be my rec drug of choice, and something I can speak to endlessly.

Frankly, I know I had way better time at my daughter's class get together after a vaping sesh. Let's face it, being one of four (at most – no joke) single parents in a class of 20 is, well, awkward. You're the proverbial elephant in the room. Ugh. For the single dads – yes, you also have my undying support on that. Did the vape sesh make me care a little less – M'hm. Did it make me laugh a whole lot more – M'hm. Think I'm on to something....

Which leads me to: dating. Ew. Funny – everyone thinks the single parents in the classroom need a special meet-n-greet. “Zoe's dad is single, isn't he soooo cute..?!”. Uhm, dude, you're killing my buzz. I mean, sure. He's cute. His daughter is also in my daughter's class. I see Zoe's mom at the gym (and Starbuck's, for fuck's sake). She's really not over the divorce (as it just happened). For the record – neither is he. No, no. This is a disaster waiting to happen. I do NOT need to ride that crazy train.

PUCKERMOB is legit hilarious for good, unfiltered writing. Tanya Simpson recently killed it with her contribution, ‘I'm done with dating’. This gem of an article began with an epic photo stating, “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably SHIT....”. I have no idea who coined that one, but I may love you. She goes on to state that her dating adventures have been well documented. Her description of “The Cyclist” is good for a real laugh. Article link (you know you want to): https://www.puckermob.com/moblog/im-done-with-dating/

Single parents (mums and dads) – you know you have a description tucked under your belt (or, two). True to Tanya Simpson style/spirit, I thought I'd throw a few out there. I relish anonymity – names shall be omitted. Just for shits, though – if one of these happens to sound like you, just be happy that I've omitted your personal information (at the very least). Because, yeah, some women may not. If you're a non-believer, check out the Instagram/TikTok/Twitter sites that bash bad dates. Yikes. Ouch. Burn.

Anyhoo...

“The Trust Fund Guy”. Please, don't date. You're not mature enough. The fact that you're in your late 40's and living off inheritance money does not entitle you to be a cheap asshole. Cold, hard facts: you chose to quit working at mid-40-something. Not because you worked all that hard. You suddenly inherited a shit-ton of money, and threw the towel in. Unlike, say, someone who earned that money and decided to retire (and, live off the interest). Anyway, sure you do need to budget yourself. This does NOT mean you get to ask the women you date to split every-single-bill when you go out (see what I did there). Oh, and bragging about your cheapskate/petty ways really isn't attractive. Also, the hidden (quite pornographic) Tumblr account: Ted Bundy-level creepy (oh, yes – I am aware – Google tells all). Please, re-read the part where I ask you not to date. I beg you. On behalf of all single women who may encounter you. Lurking. Somewhere.

“The Self-Appointed Important Guy”. Like “ The Trust Fund Guy”, you probably shouldn't date. Although, you may be slightly more adult. I said slightly, dude. Chill. You look great on a dating app (posed with your kids-play on, player). However, you may want to be a tad more transparent about your real relationship status. Look, being separated is not the same as being divorced. For the record, living in separate homes without having legitimate, legal documents filed in court gives that statement even more merit. Dude, you are married. But – you're the VP of Sales for XYZ Fortune 500 Company. Despite your act, some of us catch on. Quickly. We may not have your job title, your Lexus, your McMansion (all 10,000 square feet), or your boat (an additional 10,000 square feet – WTHF). We have a bullshit filter. We also have common sense. No, you’re not meeting up with us because you’re on a business trip. You’re dressed as if you’re hitting up da club – did I mention pathetic. If you cannot properly file for a divorce/separation/annulment/gett, stay OFF dating sites (and cut the shit). It's really, honestly pathetic. Side note (on my end), you at least get some points – you didn't make me split the dinner bill with you. Grazi! Now, bye-bye! Be thankful I’m not the one who (eventually) will report to your wife about this. Your day of reckoning will come, though. And – karma is a special, insidious kind of bitch.

My contribution, single folks. Because, I am stoned. Because, I can be. Because, being single allows me to make the most of my time with my daughter, extended family, and close friends. I get to foster the relationships that truly matter.

Alas, in my (rare) free moments, I don’t have to explain myself (another bonus to being single). There is something orgasmic/liberating/fucking amazing about that.

“You can't hoard fun. It has no shelf life.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson


~SM

My introduction into smoking “weed” was freshmen year of high school. My re-introduction was last year – HOLLA! Having real cannabis at my disposal has given “weed” a whole new meaning. That shit sucked. Honestly, not surprising that most of us disliked our initial experiences (me, circa late 1990’s). It was disgusting, and most likely sprayed with chemicals that made everyone paranoid….or, lazy…or, stupid. I once ate far too many Twinkies from bad ditch weed (I know, it made me gag just thinking about it).

Modern rec use is soooo cool. Dispensaries are full of the most fascinating people. Like, the 80-year-old woman who was purchasing medical grade the other day. She had some legit questions regarding vape pens, waxes, and resins. This woman is my idol. Aside from customers – people who work at dispensaries are really, really cool. And, really, really smart. One of my favorite bud tenders is also a fellow science nerd (proof that smart people can and do use cannabis – daily).

As such, I am an indica fan. Sativa – sure, fun. Just don’t expect to see me at my best. Whereas indica is my chill/focus, sativa is my lack of inhibition. If you’re at all curious, sativa is often the strain most used in cannabis products indicated for arousal. Wait, talk cannabis and sex? No shit, Sherlock. If you don’t know the two have been well correlated (and studied), allow me to enlighten you.

To begin…

Foria has UH-Mazing products! They can be used with a partner, or solo – a’hem. Single, or partnered – you’ll thank me later. The website boasts products for just about everything/anything related to sex. They also have a line of products intended for pain relief: https://www.foriawellness.com/ Admittedly, I haven’t used their relief products. Judging by the quality of their arousal products, I’d assume the line is consistent. They sell small, “starter” packs. My unsolicited advice – if you have a substantial sex drive, just buy the full size products. Yes, I do happen to know from experience – thankyouverymuch.

Still curious? Check out 1906’s line of edibles. Personally, I love Midnight and Genius (low dose THC, with a decent THC:CBD ratio). One worth noting: Love. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to digest the reviews – it works. https://1906newhighs.com/products/love/

Last, but not least – wax/vape/resin. If I lost you, welcome to my world as a former, new(ish) consumer. Here’s my takeaway: this is not the shit weed we smoked in high school. The edibles/wax/vape/resin/topicals work quite well. So, it takes a bit of curiosity, open-mindedness, and common sense to navigate these things. Yes, a topical can give you a slight body buzz – transdermal applications are nothing new (Fentanyl, ‘nuff said). Edibles – probably not the wisest idea to eat 100 mgs of THC (at first). Start with 2.5, 5, 10 – you follow. Vape pens are pretty straight forward – most of the disposables are pre-dosed. Depending on your tolerance/preference, it only takes a few hits. Personally, I happen to LUV Rythm’s disposable line (Cherry Alien OG x Orange Herijuana). Again, the reviews are pretty solid. https://www.iheartjane.com/products/106245/rythm-orange-herijuana-300mg

Finally, the epic-ness of wax and resins. Back to dispensaries – if you happen to see something that looks a like a small, glass bong – it’s a rig. This is my newest obsession – dabs. As the reviews can be mixed, I’ll add my two ‘cents. As I stated, above – start low. If you want to try wax/live resin – go for it. I promise, it’s not that intimidating. As for rigs, they can be elaborate (not to mention fun, AF) https://www.dopeboo.com/products/famous-brandz-snoop-spaceship-water-pipe

If you’re feeling adventurous, Verano’s line of live sugar resins kinda rules (G-Purps – you’re welcome). https://www.leafly.com/dispensary-info/the-dispensary-fulton/p/254694182/verano---g-purps-bho-live-sugar-1g

What have I experienced from sugar resins and waxes? A high that is so pure, you can barely tell. I know that sounds wrong, so hear me out. The crap buzz you get from shitty marijuana isn’t the way it’s supposed to work. You’re supposed to feel like you – Version 2.0. I have yet to experience a high from this stuff that I don’t like – but, I’m cautious by nature. Repeat after me, start low, go slow. It really is true.

So, here’s my responsible “mom” moment: all of these things are great. I can’t imagine my life without. However, you need to balance the inner stoner mom (or, dad) in you. Passing out midday and missing school pick up – not so much. While being stoned is fun, we have some added responsibilities (I know…right). So, be the responsible stoner parent. Not the one who’s getting pulled over with three kids in tow. For the love of all things holy – please do not give stoners a bad rap. We finally got us some R-E-S-P-E-C-T – do not be the one to tarnish that.

Keep it classy.


~SM

There are so many things to be grateful for. While I always come with a touch of sarcasm – I must admit that anyone who made in through the last two years (sanity intact) is OG. Like, Snoop Dog OG. What’s crazy cool are the sheer number of blogger’s (self included) who’ve decided to make their fucked up thoughts (or, not) into art – via blog/vlog.

Three that I follow closely are The Rebel Mamas (friends, Aleks Jassem and Nikita Stanley) and The Stoner Mom (Kathryn VanEaton).

Jassem (the blonde) and Stanley (the brunette) have blazed the way (no pun intended) for moms to express themselves without feeling ashamed. Do we love every moment of being a parent, every single day – not really. That’s normal, people. Aside from publishing two books (no small feat), they present regular podcasts. The real message is that motherhood (parenthood, really) is a giant juggling act. To date, one of my favorite podcasts highlights mothers returning to work after extended maternity/family leave. Some points worth noting, ladies. As the pair hail from Canada, some of the employment laws differ. The message, however, does not. https://therebelmama.com/

Kathryn VanEaton is a stay-at-home mother of four children. How she does it is beyond me (well, not really – she openly speaks to her daily cannabis use). Like Jassem and Stanley, she openly admits that perfect parenting does not exist. In fact, she speaks candidly to depression and responsible cannabis use. Like The Rebel’s, she makes parenting accessible. She also lists a ton of products (bud, vape, accessories) that have become my go-to’s (or, at least on my list). She hails from the US of A (Colorado, specifically), https://thestonermom.com/

There you have it! Three women worth checking out, via two blog sites.

Ciao, and much love!


~SM

There seems to be some vested interest in two of my “favorite things” (YAY). So, let me begin by saying that I am not reimbursed by these companies, in any way (shape, or form). Truly, I am just sharing for the sake of sharing. What that means to you: I’m not being paid to blog about (or, upsell) products. Not that I am against it, by any means. Only being transparent.

Let me begin with Foria. Side note, sex sells. Period. If you didn’t catch my post on this, here’s the company’s direct website link: https://www.foriawellness.com/. I happen to have experience with two of the company’s products: Awaken Arousal Oil and Intimacy Sex Oil. The company is based out of Colorado. They do sell online, as the products only contain CBD. If you’re unaware, you cannot purchase THC-containing products online (dispensaries, only). Federal regulations (blah, blah, blah). Shipping is decent, and the customer service is outstanding.

On to 1906. The company’s name originates from the last year “cannabis was widely accepted as a beneficial medicine…”. Following this, the Wiley Act was passed – effectively beginning cannabis prohibition. The history lesson the company provides is rather intriguing – I learned something! Personally, the products speak for themselves (I have tried nearly all of them). My favorites are Genius and Midnight. Both edibles are low-dose, and contain a 1:1 ratio of CBD:TCH (the only current product with a different ratio is Chill, which is a 5:1 ratio of CBD:THC). The reasoning behind this is to eliminate some of the unpleasant effects of too much THC (racing heart, nausea, anxiety, etc.) Rather, the products allow you to function during the daytime, if you so choose. The brilliant part: each product contains extra ingredients for an added boost (as an example, Genius has 125 mg of Rhodiola, a botanical that enhances mental focus). As a side note, it’s wise to check which herbal products are used (in case you take a prescription medication that could potentially interact). Here’s the kicker: due to Federal regulations, the company cannot sell online (I know, I call bullshit on the regulations). So, the states in which the products are available for purchase: Colorado, Massachusetts, Illinois and Oklahoma. If you’re so inclined, the website link: https://1906newhighs.com/

There you have it, folks. Additional deets! Enjoy!!!


~SM

Psychedelic treatments like Ketamine and Psilocybin have been making some major waves in the last year. So much so, that investors (including Elon Musk) have had a little field day with the stock market. Don’t believe me, check out ticker: PSY on the NYSE stock exchange. If you’re in it to win it, chances are that you’ve made some money on this concept.

Dare I say it – rightfully so.

Look, in Q3 (2020), total pharmaceutical sales in the United States was estimated around $514 billion dollars (US currency, if you’re reading from another country). I don’t know about you – I, however, cannot fathom this amount of money. Remember WTHF (from a previous post) – this fits the bill. As a country, we spend an unfathomable amount of money on medications that have side effect lists larger than the state of Nebraska (drive from east to west sometime – you’ll catch my drift). Not to say that these medications don’t save lives – they do. Are some of them necessary for survival – YES. Please, don’t misinterpret me. I may be a stoner – but, I’m not that “crunchy”. Modern science has drastically improved the quality of our lives. I (tend) to side with science.

On the flip side, Americans do not love moderation. We’re still of the mentality that bigger is better. Look at our food portions, gas consumption, McMansions (no one needs a 10,000 square foot home – OK) and consumerism (Black Friday just happened two days ago, people). Last time I stoner-ordered a slice of cheesecake from a restaurant, I realized it contained enough calories to surpass my daily intake. While I do not subscribe to fad diets – I do pay attention to numbers. Frankly, who the FUCK needs to eat a 1,200 calorie slice of cheesecake. Nobody. Even for a young person with a fast metabolism – this is unhealthy – AF.

I promise I’m getting to a bigger point, here.

Suffice to say, if we cannot control ourselves when it comes to simple things (like food portions), how do we propose the idea of pharmaceutical moderation. A-ha. Now, you see my point. We don’t. Check out Michael Keaton’s role in Dopesick: https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=dopesick+trailer&view=detail&mid=C721266B4D9127DE8B2EC721266B4D9127DE8B2E&FORM=VIRE

Why, then, do I mention Ketamine and Psilocybin? Because, science is on to something. Do I have firsthand experience – YES.

LONGSTORYSHORT: in my early 20’s I was in a bad relationship (OK – “bad” is sort of an understatement). I wound up with some legit PTSD and anxiety. If you knew me, circa pre-E-J (my ex) – you would know that – prior to him – I never had anxiety. Or, PTSD. My adolescence was normal (by comparison to most – no family is perfect).

In the abusive aftermath ((sigh)) I was left some residual disturbances in my life. Insomnia, perhaps, being the biggest issue – which only served to exacerbate the anxiety. This became a negative feedback loop (which is how these things tend to present). Especially post-partum. My daughter was nearly a year old when I finally sought professional help. This is where I was introduced to Lexapro. Initially, it was the best-drug-ever. It stopped my stress eating (which helped me shed baby weight), and made me feel – well – more human. The obtrusive thoughts floated away. Like most people who are prescribed a medication for an anxiety disorder, I spent far longer on it than I should have. Eventually, it didn’t work quite as well. It went the other way. Scientifically, we know this happens. Our brain is an amazing, organic machine – it adjusts, adapts, and overcomes. Medications eventually quit working, or start working against us. And, we inevitably need to change medications, or take more, or, or, or….(please watch Dopesick – it explains this concept far better than I ever could).

Therefore, I began to research. Then, I researched some more. Because, I am a science nerd and I have conversations with my fellow nerds (both non-clinical and clinical professionals). I vaguely recall hearing about Ketamine – back then, it was a party drug. Something people did at raves. I went to raves, drank far too much alcohol, and wore anything that glowed – OH, only if I could slap my younger self. However, I wasn’t into psychedelics – again, no judgment if you did (I have friends who’ve taken enough ‘ludes to kill a horse). Frankly, I was just too damn scared of these things. I ate ‘shrooms a handful of times – giggle-snort kind of fun, but the recovery seemed to take at least two days. Minimum.

Anyhoo…

Back to Ketamine. I did not buy this from some drug dealer (seriously, do people still have someone they call…). I had a legitimate (read: lengthy) consultation with a licensed physician. My overarching goal: to find a (potentially) long-term solution to the root cause of my anxiety (versus slapping a proverbial bandage on it). Been there, done that.

To date, I have had one dose administered. Clinically, you can do this one of two ways: IV infusion or troche (a small lozenge made through a compounding pharmacy). Regardless of choice: if you chose to do this, and if you have children – consider doing it on your off weekend (if you’re a single parent), and/or when you have some outside help. The journey is interesting – knock, knock, Nemo (this saying took on a whole new meaning).

I was instructed to wear a sleep mask (so not kinky – relax), and listen to music that wasn’t obtrusive (no gansta rap or sad country tunes). I chose binaural beats (one sound in right ear, another in left – different frequencies). Binaural beats are said to foster better moods, increase relaxation, and lower stress. With that said – it seemed like the proper choice.

Here’s where it gets interesting: roughly 30-ish minutes after my dose, I felt like I was floating. Then, I felt detached from my body (part of the process for some, apparently). As I had a sleep mask on, I cannot speak to visual disturbances. I did have some interesting, shut-eye visuals (mostly tunnels, waves, non-linear objects, etc.). Upon “waking” I found myself to be a little disoriented (normal), and nauseated (again, normal). As I did this in the evening, I went to bed shortly after. According to my ‘Sleep Cycle’ app, I reached 100 percent sleep quality. Literally, this never happens. Aside from the occasional evening where I am beyond exhausted, and happen to crash (versus ramp myself up, and stay awake until 2:00 AM).

Will I do this a second time – YES. Why – because, I am not chasing a dragon. Remember the lengthy evaluation – I don’t have addiction issues. I was candid about my cannabis use – the physician actually supported responsible cannabis use. His advice: not to combine the two, especially 2-3 hours pre and post Ketamine drop (for some, the two things don’t mix well). That trippy, dreamy trip – part of a process. Not something I’d want to do for shits and giggles. Frankly, I’d probably fall flat on my face and vomit on someone if I tried to go out while on Ketamine. All things aside, what I did feel was a deep sense of relaxation. One that extended well into the next day. No foggy, no groggy. I also felt parts of my brain begin to “fire”. Unlike a brain zap when you discontinue a psych med – this was pleasant. A gentle awakening/nudge of brain cells that have been dormant for some time. Fact: as we age, we lose neuroplasticity. Additionally, trauma and/or mental illness serve to exacerbate this. Literally, we become stuck – psychologically speaking.

Is this a pharmaceutical intervention? I suppose so. With that said, please re-read my explanation behind pharmaceutical use. I subscribe to moderation – even in cannabis use. It’s about responsibility and accountability. Before you even consider psychedelics, please reach out to an expert (read: psychiatric provider with well-documented, clinical protocols). Done improperly, this is not going to benefit you – in the long run. Be honest with yourself – if you’re looking to re-create an experience from the 90’s and 00’s, find another means. By the way, the healthcare providers working in this industry are well-versed in addictive personalities. They’re also highly protective of these protocols, as they had to fight – hard – to get the green light. Chances are, they’ll filter out anyone with less than noble intentions.

Be truthful and accountable to/for yourself. First things, first.

Much love, ya’ll.


~SM

If you haven’t been following COVID news these days, I don’t blame you. The last (almost) two years have burned people out. We’re over the bans, variants, lockdowns, and political nonsense (me, me, me – DONE). It only stands to reason that waves of breakout cases and stressing over your vaccine’s/body’s resiliency to the virus are enough to drive someone fucking nuts. Not surprisingly, mental illness has deviated pretty far from normal in young people, racial/ethnic minorities, essential workers, and caregivers (paid, or unpaid). Globally, depression rose 28 percent – anxiety, around 26 percent. While the percentages may seem small, they’re really not. Those percentages, folks, add up to be nearly 130 million people. When we factor in who’s actually reporting (affluent, advanced countries), this number is (likely) much higher (less advanced countries don’t report in on that level).

I know, WTF. Why speak to the proverbial elephant in the room. Because, the proverbial elephant will take a giant shit on the floor if not allowed outside. Airing frustrations and grievances is normal. Admittedly being stressed and overwhelmed is also normal. I prefer to tackle these things with an iron sword. While dealing with anxiety-grief-depression-anger-frustration may not be on anyone’s bucket list, not dealing lands you in a proverbial world of shit.

Chronic stress leads to something called fight-or-flight response. For anyone who’s gained weight during the pandemic – it’s not entirely your fault (no, really). Stress eating aside (guilty), chronic stress leads to weight gain (good ole’ cortisol). Weight gain often exacerbates stress. Lovely, right. A nice little, negative feedback loop. Really – the bottom line is that none of this is healthy. Emotionally, or physically.

How do I propose we deal – well, we deal. Do not take that as me being callous – rather, introspective. If we constantly hyper focus on the negative, we forget to see the silver linings (no matter how small). For example – my daughter was online for school. ALL of last year. I worked from home. With some family help, my daughter actually thrived. Her reading, math, language, and writing skills were off the charts. It’s a year I spent with her that I will never be able to recreate. While not every moment was puppies and rainbows, I’ll never regret that period of time. Frankly, her return to the classroom was an adjustment for both of us. For me, the time was special.

Coping with COVID stress isn’t easy, but I find that limiting my exposure to news media (far too much negativity), staying busy, having a routine, and connecting with close friends has become an outlet. Cannabis use to take the edge off – yes, please.

Back to mental illness: medical cannabis patients with mental illness reported a staggering 91 percent increase in use (data collected from half a dozen major universities who conducted these studies). Of that subset, over half (65 percent) reported daily use. Interestingly, the jury is still out on patients who significantly increased their usage (friend, or foe). While I wouldn’t suggest replacing your medications with cannabis, there may be something to be said for this phenomenon – given the significant increase in use (beating out alcohol consumption by quite a bit, as well).

Yes, I am a daily consumer. Shocking, I know. It doesn’t mean I sit around stoned and stare at the wall. As I said, I stay busy, have a routine, and stay connected with family and friends. What I have noticed about daily use is that I feel a little less, well, agitated. I’m much more appreciative of what (or, who) is around me. My daughter’s freakishly weird kid shows are actually funny (in all fairness, we had Beavis AND Butthead). Plus, I have gotten back into playing board games with her, family, and friends. I love throwing safe, impromptu dinner parties (I know, how very 1950’s of me). Generally speaking – I have learned to slow the fuck down, and smell the roses (bud, whatever). Prior to the pandemic, I was always going. Not because I necessarily wanted to – I felt compelled to. I traveled for every-single-school-break. I attended each-and-every-birthday-party for my daughter’s friends (we once had six in a five week span). Do I see this as healthy, now – not one bit. I was constantly stressed, on the run, and totally run down.

As we enter the last month of 2021, I’m curious to see what 2022 brings. As much as people have tried to block out the last two years, I’ve taken the time to reflect over them. Frankly, I am 100 percent grateful to be where I am at. This doesn’t mean that each day is a perfect day – that’s impossible. What it does mean is that I’m grateful for fortitude, resiliency, and the ability to actually take my life back (on some level).

The glass can either be half full or half empty. It’s really up to you to shape your perspective on that.


~SM

Is anyone else out there insanely excited that Dexter Morgan has reappeared?!?! After a decade of wishing the original series would have been made into a movie (not unlike Sex and The City) – it happened. Not in movie form, but in a next-level series that feels much like the very first season did (when Dexter was new to the Showtime-series market). A sophisticated killer, interesting developments (the apple from tree analogy comes to mind), and old patterns (victims bound in plastic). The tone has definitely been set.

If you are geeking out about this (like me) – take note the actor Michael C. Hall is also actively directing/producing the new series. He was active in the first series, too (FYI). There’s a bit of Kubrick directorial vibe, here. If you’re a fan of the late, great director I’m sure you can follow me on this. His movies were dark, psychologically thrilling, and intensely vivid (think Full Metal Jacket’s sniper scene – still mind blowing). Not unlike our favorite anti-hero.

The most recent episode was rather intriguing, to say the least. Dexter’s son from the first series – Harrison – located his father in the middle of the wilderness. Frankly, the teenager is no fool. He’s also wicked smart, which is starting to make me wonder – a lot. He has an altercation at school, which invokes Dexter’s senses. Both from a serial killer’s mind, and that of a (former) forensic blood spatter analyst. In this classic case of whodoneit, Dexter has a revelation. I’m going to cut it off right there…no spoiler alerts.

Another point of interest, fellow geeks, is the omnipresent Deb. As someone who admired the deceased detective/serial killer’s sister, I think it’s uber cool that she’s now become Dexter’s unrelenting subconscious. On par with the show’s real-life Deb, she makes her presence known (the “fuck nuggets” term is back, baby). And, she is not happy with Dex. The “bullet scene” was brilliant (another one I won’t ruin – just watch it). Since Deb has dropped in, I’m dying to know if any of Dexter’s former, um, colleagues will also come back to life.

There were very few TV series that managed to catch my attention on this level. Besides Sex and the City, I really only followed The Sopranos (nope, I didn’t love the last two seasons either). With that being said, here’s an interesting thought: the final season premier of Dexter attracted 3 million viewers. The series finale drew in 2.8 million viewers. From a fan’s standpoint – that is one helluva dedicated audience. In most series finales, this just doesn’t happen. Most fans drop out as the show becomes anticlimactic in nature.

Americans (self included) are fascinated with serial killers. I suspect this is truly why Dexter had the rich following for so damn long. If you didn’t know this piece of cinematic history, The Silence of the Lambs won Oscars in all five major categories (best actor – no brainer).

Why the immense fascination? Well, peeps, we (Americans) love when authority is challenged. Serial killers evade police detectives and investigations. Alongside iconic killers, comes the iconic killer hunter – the FBI profiler. It becomes a battle of the minds – who perseveres. Frankly, both personalities fascinate me (there’s some overlap there, for sure).

Something else to consider: a modern-day serial killer who takes out the disgusting scourge of the earth. Yeah, I’m not complaining. For those who invoke harm on innocents – well, Dexter isn’t all that far off. Normal, human instinct is pure revulsion for those who would target the innocent (children, sick, elderly). It’s why we like Dexter and his ability to evade persecution. Be honest, it just seems right – he’s likable because he follows a discipline (or, code).

If you honestly haven’t watched the first series, do it. The second has been well worth it!


~SM

December 2, 2021

Dear (Anytown, USA) School District Parent:

We are writing to inform you of the following positive COVID-19 results:

  • 3rd-grade student
  • 4th-grade students (two)
  • 5th-grade students (three)
  • Staff member (three)

The School District continues to work closely with the (Anytown, USA) County Health Department. Close contacts have been identified and informed.

If you experience symptoms, please stay home, consult with a medical provider, and get tested.

Best,

((Any name, his/him/her/hers))

Superintendent (Anytown, USA) School District

Yet another e-mail from my daughter’s school district – and that was just today. As I haven’t deleted a single COVID-positive-student e-mail since the school year started (I am keeping track, believe me), this is just another. After a long line of many. I’m sick of seeing them – not because I’m “over it”, I’m over the “over it”.

Opinion: for fuck’s sake, stop saying ‘post-pandemic’. For much of America (the world, really), this is FAR from over. I don’t live in a COVID-positive hot spot (although, it was in August). Yet, I’m starting to notice something in my tiny corner of the world – you got it, an uptick in local, positive COVID cases. It may be slight, but it is most definitely there. Guess what – once again, we dropped the fucking ball. Because, we just don’t want to learn. Despite the numerous experts telling us otherwise (Fauci, who?).

My roots are deeply vested in science. Please, do not try to convince me otherwise, and I promise I will respect your individual beliefs (in return). I’ve never been particularly religious, and it’s my prerogative. However, my deep roots are why I can speak to biomedical science all day (new methods of cancer diagnostics, stem cell therapy, etc.). It’s another reason I’m fascinated by cannabis (and the endocannabinoid system). Science tells us what we need to know – not something most people have warmed up to (conceptually). We like to be placated – told what we’d like to hear, instead. Human nature is such – and, we’re only getting worse. Instant fucking gratification. Lab rats have served to confirm this.

So, now what (a’hem, rhetorical question). Well, perhaps we come to a collective conclusion to 1) agree to disagree, 2) focus on actually getting a trickle-down vaccination effect, and/or 3) decide that truly ending this pandemic is going to be a vested, group effort (remember Kindergarten – I sure AF do). Perhaps, we can quit making this into a political/religious battle (there’s time for that down the road).

As much as people may not want to hear this, I’m going to be 100 percent transparent – this virus is only getting smarter…and, stronger…and, more contagious. Which means that a deadly virus is getting deadlier. By comparison to the Spanish Flu Pandemic (statistically), we’re way worse off. Considering that was over 100 years ago, it doesn’t speak much to progression. In theory – we should be smarter. Instead, we’re more entitled, arrogant, and stupid.

As I said in a previous post – there is a significant level of pandemic fatigue happening. I get it. I’m sympathetic to it. However, it’s only going to continue if we don’t stop. Trust me on that.

My solution is simple: be aware of the information being provided to you, and consider your source. Circulation of misinformation is common. Honestly, I blame (most) social media platforms for only perpetuating that vicious cycle. Unfortunately, Instagram isn’t your best/most reliable place for information. Chances are, the CDC is.

How do pandemics end? Well, the viruses don’t go away (the Spanish flu virus, and modern H1N1 still circulate in the environment). What happens is that the viruses causing these pandemics change. More on point, we do. Eventually, humans and viruses reach an immunological homeostasis, of sorts. Through years of exposure and vaccine “layering” our immune systems advance, and these things become far less threatening (if at all).

I acknowledge that there may not be a single, one-size-fits all solution to this. People are entitled to their opinions and rights. However, allow me to propose this one thing: let’s be a bit more patient with the scientific process. Instead of fighting the very things that may save us, let’s consider giving them a try. They do work, given consistency and time.

Have you not been reading my posts?!?! There are some amazing cannabis products and live-stream TV happening. Trust me, this too shall pass. You can find enjoyable ways to pass your time – I will bribe you with the best strains of cannabis, if need be. Or, tickets to a remote island (if you insist).


~SM