January 17, 2021.
Fragments from my journal: Non-fiction TalesOriginally written in June 2019.
I felt so incredibly sad. I was thinking about old memories, old non-fiction tales which was floating in my mind. Not even tales, it was more like fragments of an ancient event, and it wasn't even that long time ago. But it felt like it was coming from another period of time.
The grip around my neck was sudden, just like the punch in my face. He had convinced me to make love with him, and I agreed even though I felt a bit awkward. Maybe he noticed I felt uncomfortable, I don't know, but the harsh grip and the sudden punch made my body completely frozen and I couldn't even move any longer. I stopped to move out of fear.
When my body reacted in that way he seemed to be even more mad. Several more punches in my face and when my tears started to flow, his moves just became more aggressive. I just tried to hold back my tears and was taking whatever he made me do.
A year later he tried to contact me again. I had been struggling to sleep at night, had terrible flashbacks and was reacting like a wild animal on certain moves that was similar to the incident a year ago.
I pushed the “block user”-button and decided to move on. Although, he did apologize, but it would never cure my fears.
Tonight was one of those nights again, and I got up to tell one fragment of my story. And I hope I won't regret it.
This was only one fragment of what kind of life I was living at the time.