the alternate space

I want to stop taking meds. I want to stop spending so much money on food. I need to save for more important things. I can’t keep living beyond my means.

Being away from social media has made me question who I really am.

The things I thought I liked to do. The things I thought I was. Were any of them true?

Tomorrow, February ends.

The day after tomorrow, I will be a year older.

What does that even mean these days?

I will be thirty four.

I am nowhere near who I thought I would be at this age.

But who did I even think I’d be in the first place?

We lose so many memories overtime.

Sometimes I feel like it’s myself I’m losing.

Am I? Or am I just changing?

It sucks to be poor.

It sucks even worse when you’re poor in a first world country, apparently.

Financial anxiety is draining.

Can’t believe it’s already February.

Two years have passed since my husband moved to Japan. Time just zoomed past, huh.

Winter is ending soon. I like spring, but after spring comes summer.

I hate summer.

I just woke up and my mom decided to again tell me what went wrong at home between her and my brother. Now I’m fucking pissed.

If therapy were covered by health insurance this wouldn’t be a problem. Instead of coming to me to rant they can go to a fucking therapist and get proper help. Instead, they tell me—a member of the family living in a different country entirely—and for what?

What the fuck can I do?

You’re only venting? Did you even consider that it’s fucking nine in the morning and I’ve only woken up?

Your condition won’t improve unless your eating does. I know it’s hard to start, but you will only keep hurting if you don’t.

Took another test. Still negative.

Didn’t go to work because of GERD.

So sad. So unmotivated. Why am I feeling like this again?

Our Beloved Summer is by far the most disappointing K-drama I’ve seen recently. Mostly because it started out pretty okay, and then things only went downhill after the main couple got back together.

The characters could have been more fleshed out. There was so much room for more growth. Instead, time is wasted on stupid, inconsequential subplots that have no bearing in the grand scheme of things.

I’m debating whether or not I should even waste one more hour on this unsatisfying drama. It’s the finale and I saw spoilers. Ugh. Rush a story why don’t you?