The Perfect Opportunity
My mom and I were having one of our weekly phone conversations, and the subject of Lyla and schools came up, but it wasn't any of my concerns. Basically, to me, they were fake ones born out of a lack of understanding for people who are different from what they are. Naturally, this conversation led right to the beautiful bathroom debate, and an opinion I'm sure my mom got from Fox News quickly came out of her mouth. I've tried to do this piece a million different ways, but maybe this conversation gave me the perfect opportunity to debunk a few things that my other work wouldn't discuss. Especially as a parent, I feel a personal responsibility to make sure I'm very clear about my positions regarding transgender people being able to use the bathroom they feel the most comfortable in. I've long held the view that everyone should respect and treat each other as they want to be treated. I do not take kindly to individuals who bully others. It's essential to create a safe and inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and supported. I also don't think it's right to make someone else's time harder for no real reason. I want to be clear that I won't talk about the controversy surrounding transgender children or whatever. My personal opinion is its none of my business, and apart from intersex individuals and the misconceptions that were present in the past, I cannot reliably confirm how many children are receiving gender reassignment surgery as a part of their gender-affirming care; I can almost say for sure that this isn't happening in mass numbers. (We can discuss Jazz at a later date. That, I think, is something very different, and to be honest, I'm pretty shocked “I Am Jazz” is allowed to be aired on TV) It's not a cheap or accessible option for most transgender adults, and I can't see a lot of parents or doctors (not famous ones because those aren't representative of regular transgender people) willing to sign off on or operate on a child. I just have no idea what they would even gain from having a reputation for doing so unless you wanted to be labeled a scumbag and one who mutilates children. Another point I made to my mother is that our government didn't legalize gay marriage across all 50 states until 2013, and we did the same thing we are doing to transgender people to gay people between the first four years of Obama's second term. We even had an honest conversation about whether or not to allow gay men to use the men's bathroom because of the fear that they would “rape little boys” like, we did that shit. We weren't even talking about men who were born as women. We were straight-up talking about men who are just attracted to other men. I asked my mom if she realized the absurdity of such a conversation even taking place now. She conceded (I'll add here that my mom has always been supportive of the gays, especially when she was just getting over her divorce, my mom went to drag shows nonstop and even introduced a few to my dad and I, even though my parents had been separated, so she harbors no ill will towards them, which I figured would be my most substantial leverage in this touchy conversation). I then told my mom I thought this discussion was also dumb and not worth having. Among the other various and lengthy points I made, the main one was that if it were a pervert in a wig pretending to be transgender, it would be obvious, and since we now lock the front doors of schools. We have hired more security to monitor them; I would hope that a strange person loitering by the bathroom would be immediately spotted by school staff. Of course, my mother cited the disproven case of the man who assaulted a little girl in a school bathroom. However, Fox News failed to mention that the little girl knew the man and had either lied and said he was her uncle when he was her neighbor or was her uncle; I can't remember which but either way, the point is the little girl knew the man who had assaulted her. I was not some strange man lurking by a bathroom, and if you want to get technical, it has been statistically proven that most victims of rape know their abuser. Therefore, it is crucial to educate and raise awareness of consent and healthy relationships. The only point I conceded was that there did need to be an honest conversation about children being incredibly vulnerable to foreign influence, and that makes the discussion around social transitioning a remarkably prescient one and potentially an uncomfortable one. It requires the acknowledgment of the transgender community that some of the people in their community are hostile towards those who have detransitioned or have changed their minds in the midst of socially transitioning. Detransitioning can be a difficult and lonely journey as support is limited. It is essential to seek out qualified professionals who can provide guidance and understanding. But it's also super important that they have the permission of their community. The whole goal of the transgender movement was to celebrate self-exploration and promote the joys of self-discovery and being who you are. Yet when it comes to detransitioning, exploring something, and then realizing it isn't for you. That should be perfectly acceptable, especially for children. I believe that it's the responsibility of the transgender community to help convey and communicate this message. If they don't, I can see why some parents may be reluctant to allow their children to transition socially. It could ruin their social lives if they end up changing their mind. And to claim their fear is unfounded is to deny how impressionable children are in their true nature, especially when peers are involved. I told my mom that the lack of acknowledgment from the transgender community when parents address their concerns is generally why there is so much confusion and hostility between the two parties. I then hit her with the story of all stories. The proverbial, nai-in-the-coffin that was going to drive my point home. I told her that there was a girl in my school who was transitioning to a man. He was 16, his mom was supportive, and he received hormone therapy. I told her that not only did none of the students give a shit, but none of the parents, teachers, or staff cared. Lakota went so far as to allow him to use her preferred bathroom AND have the name he wanted on his school identification card. No one ever said a word. It was simply accepted and respected, just as it should be. My mom kind of stumbled over her words and ultimately wanted to change the topic, a thing I was more than happy to oblige because all I needed was for her to think about how dumb that fear was in practice, like in day-to-day life. I even mentioned that the friend that always accompanied me to the gay club was also transitioning to be a man and even worked with an ex-boyfriend of mine at Tire Discounters. That's how I met him., through my ex. My mom claimed not to remember, and we quickly switched to gossiping about my ex. I don't claim to know all of the answers, and I'm just saying that you shouldn't get your information from idiots like Matt Walsh (who's fucking 36), Tucker Carlson, and Ben Shapiro. All they do is spread lies and hate to further the religious agendas they fake believe in for money. They hide under the guise of Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion to take those rights away from others whose views their faith permits them to hate. This kind of behavior goes against the very spirit of democracy and diversity. Every individual has the right to express their beliefs without promoting animosity. Discuss...