theminduntangled

What is a real friend?

You meet the people who smile in front of your face and get along only because they have to.

You meet the people who pretend to be someone they are not, but then their true colours come out during a time when you question a situation, or even a time when you need them the most – to just listen.

You meet the people who call you their friend, but then they only call you or text you when it's convenient for them – when they need something.

We are introduced to these types of people many times – throughout our childhood and also into adulthood. You would think as adults, we have learned how to “recognize” and “react” to the different types of friends, but you find yourself trapped over and over, only making you more hurt and angry. As hard as you try, that friendship that was once a part of your happiness, is now a part of your past and a part of the root to your anxiety, your self-confidence, and your love for yourself. Why? Why do we allow these “friends” to have such control over our emotions and our feelings? Is it because we yearn for acceptance? What is it that triggers these emotions, really?

You start doubting yourself. You start to ask yourself, “what is wrong with me?” You start feeling guilty and neglected all at the same time, when you're only trying to “fit” in.

It is when we become adults, when most of us “have” what we need in our lives, and that is when we realize just how sick and tired we are of being taken advantage of and re-living the “high school” drama. We become disgusted by the amount of “fake” people out in this world – the liars, the manipulators, the backstabbers, the cheaters, the thieves. The ones who play you for a fool. The ones who think they can play you like a puppet on a string, but then, the puppet on a string actually turns into a rollercoaster ride – faster and more scary – and you're wondering when in hell it is going to STOP!

They say you shouldn't be friends with your children. I say why not? Just because I'm their parent? I will be both. Why? Because I trust them. I love them. I would do anything for them.

My husband, he is my best friend. Why? Because I trust him. I love him. I would do anything for him.

The same goes for my family, and (not even a handful) a few I call my real friends, and let's be honest here – those are mostly new friendships that share the same interests and values in life, as I do now.

In my opinion – friendships are based a lot on trust, kindness, and compassion. Friendships can't form if there is not that connection. And if that trust is broken, even once, then how can that friendship continue? How can that friendship even exist?

We can forgive, as much as it hurts, but can it really ever be forgotten? We acknowledge the fact that we've been hurt, and maybe we are part to blame for the reactions we have, allowing our mouth to open before letting our mind think the thoughts out first. But, if a situation has been repeated over and over, and there has been no understanding, then of course a reaction is going to be an explosive one! Of course there's going to be tears and a burst of frustration, perhaps even leading to resentment. As hard as you try to hold it all in, so that no one is hurt emotionally, it happens. And all persons involved are left feeling betrayed, hurt, angry.

My point is – we can only be silent for so long. We can only try to hide our emotions for so long in order to try to sustain a healthy relationship with “friends” that we want to. But, at the end of the day, we need to voice our opinions and stick up for our beliefs. And if the connection or the same values aren't there, then we have to learn to “let it go”. We have to let it go for our own mental health, or it is going to seriously cause damage to our emotional well-being.

We need to surround ourselves with the people who bring out the best in us. The ones who make us laugh, sing, and dance. The ones who are supportive when times get tough. And if they aren't there for you during the touch times, then are they really your friends? If they are only calling you when they need something, are they really your friends? Are they really your friends if they don't understand that times get busy, and sometimes you just don't have enough energy and can't be at their beck and call over a simple text message or visit?

Everyone has their life to live and their responsibilities. People make choices in order to live a fulfilling life. Friends come and go, and I believe we meet people for a reason. There is no need for high school drama. There is no need for putting people down.

This world has gotten to the point where technology has taken over. If you're a real friend, and need to discuss serious real-life issues – you will pick up the phone instead of texting. Or you will make the effort to chat face to face. Texting becomes so confusing and seriously, can be taken the wrong way.

If you have that friend – stand by them. Cherish them. Treat them as you would want to be treated.

Don't lie. Don't talk behind their backs. Be positive, and just. be. a. friend. Be that REAL friend. That's all.

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”

Subscribers – below is a poem I wrote entitled “No Longer A Fool”. And a little information on how this article came about ...

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