a little tryin' a little dyin'
Sometimes I feel near-death. The Pulmonary issue I have is ongoing, and there is weight in the chest, causing short breaths, less-deep inhales. So, I'll see a specialist when I can.
Also, sometimes, unrelated, I go to the text editor and think I will write something, and think: “I just can't”. Because I cannot. I can't muster the words or want to have anything to say. As Bukowski put it: “let the words leap from your fingertips”.
Before it was just writing out what I was thinking always. Sort of lost in a malaise of shit-thought so I would shit-post whatever.
So I try. And I (feel as if I) die. But not really dying. But pretty much trying.