Society: a review

Watched a pretty good video just now on YT from a guy who was/is homeless, and his views on society, and it more or less inspired me to write about what I think of society and my place in it.

Let's backtrack – in 2011 I had little to complain about. A 760 square foot, new (built in 2008) one bedroom apartment in Pevely, Missouri (the location is what made it affordable), 2-year contracts on everything (TV, home internet, even home PHONE(!), iPhone) all under either AT&T or Charter (the latter similar to the AT&T of Jefferson County). I had a dog, good grades at Jefferson College, wanted to get into some form of writing gig after the Associates degree (knowing full well that I would NOT pursue a BA, because I didn't want the Uni debt), had OK neighbors, managed my money well, etc. Basically, I was doing everything society asked me to do, and doing everything I expected of myself as a productive member of society.

But in my head, in my body, I was miserable. No real vision for my future. I was overweight, lethargic all the time, hated responsibility, was apathetic about obtaining a college degree (which I didn't, I left shortly thereafter), didn't want to pay bills (or at least not as many as I was paying), and I didn't even like being a pet owner that much, either. I kinda/sorta wanted to move to a Big City™ or live abroad in Japan for a while, or hike a major trail, or something that wasn't just... there. Doing that.

So, I sorta did what I wanted: I downsized most of my possessions, cancelled all contracts (for a fee), got my life to fit into the back of a pickup truck, found a 300 square foot apartment in midtown St Louis (50 miles from where I was at in Pevely), worked out daily (walking), saw some city sights, tried different cafes, ate at unique restaurants, took a shitload of photos (now all gone as well as the Instagram account that hosted them), and was basically a “city boy” for a while. But after the year (and lease) was over – I was exhausted, had lost 55 pounds in nine months from constant cardio (but had abs! ;)), was sick of all the rudeness and drama that comes with living in an American city, and was just burned out.

Years have passed since then, but that takes me to where I am at right now: in S St Louis County, minimal bills, very minimal THINGS, hiking as often as possible (but not overdoing it), let go of the fact that I am not going to pursue college again, I'm fine living with a simple HSD (high school diploma), writing daily, sometimes ALL day, continuing vegetarianism, etc.

So, in society, do I view myself as a productive member OF it? No. Do I view myself that feels like things (in society) are working FOR me, in my favor? No, again. But I know this – the WORLD is happening FOR me, not TO me, and just because there is pressure to be XYZ citizen in the world doesn't mean I have to be that citizen. I can be whoever I want to be. Do whatever I want to do. Things, material possessions, approval of others – these things I could give two shits about. And this is just the way I want to live.

Thanx for reading :)

... now I'm at >>> 👋