soft pack Reds, where's the neighborhood bully?

I always opt for BOXES of cigarettes whenever I do buy cigarettes. Never soft packs. Mostly because they do not sell soft packs most places anymore. But Dierbergs does. When the lady at the counter went to the other side of the checkout lanes to fetch the requested Marlboro Reds, she returned with a soft pack.

I have not had soft pack Reds since the mid-1990s, probably. Back when I would buy them for the neighborhood bully, who I will refer to as “KG”, when he would give me exactly $2.50 in quarters to buy him a pack of soft pack Reds, as well as another $2.50 for me to buy a pack of Marlboro “Lights” (not Gold, like they are called now) from the Eat-Rite vending machine located just off Highway 30.

I guess he wasn't that much of a bully considering I got paid (in smokes) for doing the smoke run, but the kid was a coward and wouldn't go into Eat-Rite to buy the smokes himself, and let me go (and potentially get busted) to serve his nicotine habit. Word around the campfire is, he is a recovering heroin addict somewhere in the PNW as of now, but I am not totally sure about that. No sympathy.

Anyway, soft packs are a pain, but better than electronic cigarettes by a country mile. I used e-cigs from 2013-2016, I think, and they were the worst experience I ever had with anything in the history of things. Worst technology experience. Worst nicotine experience. Worst inconvenience in terms of getting, paying for, refilling, spilling, cleaning up the e-cig juice and everything else. I thought they were pretty damn cool in 2013 when it was still unregulated and I could buy a friggin' Liter of high mg nicotine juice for $30 and not have to worry about e-cig stuff for another six months – but then everything started to come in smaller and smaller bottles, which then got more and more expensive, and now they sell JUUL e-cig carts for like $6 a piece which amount to the same amount of juice I would spill while transferring 10 ounces from the Liter bottle to a small decanter. If I ever used a JUUL, I would burn through that stuff in about five hours, but I suppose they are marketed towards teens, mostly, because they come in all kinds of flavors, and colors, and nicotine levels, and everything else to make inhaling chemicals palatable to the Snapchat Generation. In all likelihood they will get chemical-induced pneumonia if they (the JUUL'ers) ever overdo with those things.

But, whatever. I very much so sound like a disgruntled old man, but to be completely honest, I could care less who uses what, or when, or how, or by what method, or if people avoid nicotine altogether and live long prosperous lives. I just know that I will not buy soft packs for KG again, or for myself again. Or buy JUUL, or any type of e-cig again.

Where's the mail?

... now I'm at >>> 👋