Filed under: #coffeetime #latenight

I am somewhat tired, but am awake with instant coffee, so I will remain in this state for some time, lol

Yearning, wanting, needing – sick of those feelings. Contentment suits me much better. Some people say the secret to a long life is “get what you want”, and to “not suffer”. I sincerely hope this isn't the case, because I will be dead in a decade if I have to rely on getting what I want (or need, at times) or/and “not suffering”.

Reminds me of a book I plan on reading by Derek Sivers called “Anything You Want”. It's on my reading list, may be a thing a pick up in August. I already read “A Company of One” by Paul Jarvis(?) (is that his name?), and it was OK. Was basically making the case that companies should grow slow, stay small, remain independent, etc. I don't have a company, and never will, so I am not sure why I read that book. Other than I agree with it. I already have the “gist” of Digital Minimalism (Cal Newport), so there is no need to buy that. In fact, it is not necessary to buy ANY books that are in the realm of “self help”. I mean, The Art Of War is a bit different than the books I just mentioned, but generally self help type of books are not really my thing. Glad people are putting interesting stuff out there, but I am not sure if I have a need for it.

How the day ends. If you, or I, can end their day and genuinely, honestly say “I had a good day” and be totally happy with the events of the day – then life is probably going your way. It has been YEARS since I have settled down at the end of the day and just said/thought to myself “I had a good day”. Because it all comes back to me, here, at this apartment. Despite all the “events” that occur in my life, I usually end the day with returning to my (kinda normal, uninteresting) apartment, and just “going through the motions”. I'm not “totally” unhappy here, but the will and whim of my youth of wanting to move about/get a new place every few years has dwindled down to near non-existence, and now I guess I just want to be “comfortable”. I have no idea why? Comfort isn't forever. Things get shook up and upheavals happen all the time in an individual's life, I want to be going with the flow and not being a stagnant rock at the bottom of it.

I should probably think about moving. Again.

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Filed under: #coffeetime

I kind of want to write an e-book. Or at least improve upon the e-book that I did write (Littered Thoughts). I want to perhaps add some longform to it, continue to make it a continual repo for my longform articles I've written over the years, and just re-re-re-release it in digital Editions, like a wiki sort of.

This will definitely happen in the future. I need the right tool(s) to make that happen, though, as doing anything on a phone is a pain. I love to be mobile-only, but let's face it – the only reason I am mobile-only for the time being is because the RPi 4 crapped out on me. Plus I really like the Linux Mint Box Mini 2. Soon.

More later

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File under #coffeetime

The fireworks are already starting. It is 7:30PM, and the sun has not gone down, yet. It is setting, however.

I need to find some stuff to read, I think. There are magazine and whatnot in the laundromat, but I have th whole Internet at my fingertips, so why bother with that? Besides, I already visited the vending machine (after I got smokes fromthe gas station (vending machineis cheaper)) and also did laundry yesterday, so...

I also picked up paper towels while I was out and about, so now I can deep clean my apartment (which needs it). So, I am going to do so as soon as this coffee is finished.


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Filed under #latenight #coffeetime

Right now I am playing Sugarcubes “Birthday” and sort of readying myself for the Bjork album (cassette) I ordered last night. Early this AM, actually. I have no idea when it will arrive, and it hasn't shipped out, yet. It'll get here.

I am thinking about developers for some reason. About how some indie devs will charge $2 or something for full, unrestricted access to their app, and others are “Freemium” and have you pay per feature upgrade, etc. I kind of think that the latter model is better for everyone. If you like the app, and plan on using it a lot, or for a long time, just pay the extra $$$. Like StandardNotes and ProtonMail offer alternatives (and good ones) to big services out there, I think that paying $50 per years or whatever is worth it for these services to even exist! SN and PM may not be “true” indie Web devs, but they are certainly not juggernauts like Google or whatever, so....yea.

But, anyway, this is neither here nor there. I can't develop shit, lol! I can write, and I think authors and writers should be paid for their work, too. So, basically if someone does something good for the world, they should be paid (not that that is the universal rule, always the case).

Right now, Jawbreaker just came on and it is probably the second song I ever heard from them. But I LOVE “Accident Prone”.

Also, quick update: the tattoo is healing nicely, and is still peeling, and isn't too bothersome. Really happy with it :)

I also got an e-mail receipt from just now, that I always forget that I have an account with. I basically get a receipt, go there, say something, forget for another 30 days. No interest in it. But this time I will not pop in and say anything because I am not doingtheir sign-in process through an e-mailed PW. Hassle.

I probably should have bought smokes before the sun went down. It's too late to buy any right now unless I go to Circle K, and I am not making that walk. I have nicotine lozenges, though, so I will be OK.

OK, long enough update. Be back in a bit!

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Filed under #latenight #coffeetime

Nix the last post I made. I will not be rejoining Mastodon. Even if I am “approved” for the s.l.p acct on that instance, I will ignore it/not join.

Life can be dull/boring at points w/o the constant stimuli of social media, but it is a contemplative and calm existence that I enjoy, nonetheless. It's a shame more people can't enjoy it. They CAN enjoy it, but I don't know anyone IRL under 60 years old who doesn't have some sort of SM acct. :(

But anyway, I head out of here at noon tomorrow to do laundry + some shopping (perhaps), and then it is back home to count down the hours until a midnight payday. I might make the walk to Circle K at that time and buy some stuffs, but I am not concerned with that right now.

Same old same old over here

The coffee is good 👍

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Filed under #latenight #coffeetime

Been making lists. Not shopping lists, but To-Do lists/reminders/appointments/etc. all put into one place: the Standard Notes app

I also have a few things jotted down in my mini Mead notebook, but most everything is in SN now :):) DEFINITELY love this application!

Also, having some Folgers Instant, feeling good (and wide awake!) at 2:55 AM.

Gonna take down more notes in SN and become even more reliant on the application, I think. Not because I am reliant on the application, per se – I am reliant on the notes within (and this way I have my offline copy + a redundant, and slightly more convenient, digital copy).

SN is encrypted, too. So that is good. Biometrics and all that neato shit, lol!

More later

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Filed under #coffeetime

This probably means I am going to be writing a lot, because that always happens when I have iced coffee. I also bought a big thing of Folgers Instant, as well. But that is for another time.

I feel good today, lemme tell ya :)

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Filed under #latenight #coffeetime

Having some nice instant coffee after having half of the #6 veggie from Jimmy John's.

It's a warm and humid night here in STL. I have the sliding glass door cracked open and the fan on because it was freezing in here, and now it is becoming humid :/

Nothing too special occurring this evening, just me trying to get some writing done. This is what happens when I write about all the subjects I wanna write about for X years on end, I run out of stuff to wrtite about so I just write about life, instead. The thinkfluential hot takes on the “mood of the Web” and the casual observances from people about greater society do not amuse me anymore. Let the Birdsite handle horseshit like that, I just wanna correspond my life.

There are still a few subjects that interest me, but most have gone stale in the past 10+ years.

Anyway, more later

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Filed under #coffeetime #latenight

Sometimes I feel annoyed. Annoyance mixed with anxiety and quasi-delusion.

It actually works backwards from that:

1) I feel like I am quasi-delusional that the world is heading in a sour, undesirable direction – and I try to convince myself that I should just think more positively – even though that is never the case. I often feel my perceptions/intuitions are authentic

2) Then I feel anxious that I am even having a mental discussion with myself about this matter

3) I feel annoyed that I wasted so much time on the subject

That is the Three Ring Cycle of Psychosis ™ that I pretty much experience everyday, several times a day, for many years now.

Like something is either off with me or the world. Or both (hell, I am PART of the world, afterall). Like no matter how much I get (or others in the world get), me/us are never satisfied with the outcome of being on the receiving end of such blesssings. Part of the Internet jade I was talking about just the other day. The world at our fingertips – as if humans invented God – but no one seems to give a shit. Anymore.

I am reminded of the scene in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas where HST is stoned beyond all fathomable belief, and all he can mutter is: “maybe you can just...throw me in the pool for a bit?” In the sense that, I – like many others – basically get what we want out of the world, and are not working towards any special goal, so with this full belly of interconnected convenience and ease, we (or at least I) do not know what else there is to do.

“Just throw me in the pool for a bit”

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Filed under #coffeetime

Just got back from the store. Bought cheapo instant coffee and this will be my go-to from here on out. The French press has been cleaned out and put in the trash can, and soon the dumpster. I just happen to have run out of regular grounds today, so it was time to start my instant coffee “habit”. Now I have the coffee + coffee mug in the cabinet and out of sight from the rest of the kitchen. The only coffee ephemera (if that is the right word?) I have sitting out is the stainless steel Coleman cookpot that has served me well for 10+ years :) Feels good to have a clean AND CLEAR countertop in the kitchen.

Going to the store, I sweat profusely because humidity, so I came home and shaved and took a shower. In for the night, for sure. Perhaps tomorrow will bring less humidity and perhaps a walk to Cliff Cave Park? We'll have to see.

More later

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