the sun sets, and...
...the screams arrive from the neighbor downstairs. She has woke, and initiated battle with her cat, and turned the TV on to full volume, and this is my serenade as I do web development work at 8:00 PM. It's a thing I have gotten used to.
And props to Mike on the well-written blog post about “traveling, but not arriving” (not an exact quote from the post). I, myself, wish I could just up-and-go without any type of problems, but usually financial stressors/limitations (aka, almost no money) leave me without ability to live some semblance of comfort. And I understand, too, the argument of “freedom vs comfort”, and how vagabonds (or travelers, overlanders, whathaveyou) will say “freedom is more important than comfort”, and I totally agree. Yet, I fail to retreat from my comfort zone of knowing I have a place to stay, a home to call my own, and a comfy place that I can reside. Letting go of this “quasi-nesting mindset” I have found to prove more difficult than I would have thought X amount of years ago. Perhaps it is the UNWILLING disposition of being “legit” homeless numerous times in life that make me not want to give up whatever residence I manage to have. In fact, in writing this, I am almost sure this is the case. And it is not as much as the feeling of not having a roof + four walls around me that terrifies me – it is the complete and total rejection from friends/family/society and the emotional impact that has (or had, when forced from my home on numerous occasions in youth) that tend to stir up a different kind of discomfort than that of someone who just doesn't have an address. So do/will I travel, move about, vagabond, “see the world”? In all honesty, even with ideal/non-ideal circumstances – it is very doubtful.
So, that's my schpiele. Thanx for reading :)
... Issue. 5 of The Zine Around The Corner ready for download now