Dear Journal

Dear journal, I got paid today. Finally! I was worried. Didn't want to push the guy, i know he's in difficult situation too. Now i can pay the loan. XD The plan is till on too.

Like it says. I'm back. Someone told me i should keep a record of my life somewhere.

Second day of fasting. Ate some fried squid with meat soup. Protein shake. Let’s stop questioning why i did this.

Saying hi to the group. No one reply back. Why i care so much. I should figure it out by now that no one like me. T seems unattached. I just wasted my energy crying for no reason. He already make it perfectly clear that I’m just a friend.


Still thinking where i should stay. Far or close. Less money or more. Free or not. As much as i love staying here, i hate it too sometimes.

You dont want to talk? Fine. I’m done trying.

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

16/7/2021 2003

I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t take things too serious. We never actually talk about those things. And he did tell me a lot of things about him that he didn’t tell anyone else. So, if i just left like that, i was just being an ass.

I’m happy today.

15/7/2021 1732

Went out and bought a loaf of bread and some crackers. Crackers was bad idea. Mocha was a good idea. Its been a full year since i last drink one.

It seems like he dont feel the need to report everything to me, which mean i dont have to be so hung up on him. Dont waste my time. Hes not interested. I wont go looking for him. He has to find me.

Time to let go.


Kept getting bsod and i did the normal thing to fix it, check for windows file error and memory diagnostic. Found some error and they said they fixed it but I don’t really have high expectations. Video kept glitching on youtube, might be driver problem and i did reinstall using with clean installation option.

Reinstall pop os on another drive, i change that like every other day. Last night, it was endeavour os. Its slower than pop os and i dont like the font. It looks really jagged.

Someone burning something outside. 🤬 should t open burning get banned?