This is a place to stay in touch with people in my life, write my thoughts, explore things, etc. Enjoy!
The thing that has struck me about the new Beatles documentary is this element of choice. These guys weren't incredible musicians because they had something innate within them. They weren't remarkable because of a God-given talent. They were that way because they chose, over and over again, to do something.
Something about publishing, even if it's only just to myself, is confronting in me. I find that I have these ambitions to put my words out to others, to talk about things that I love, things that bring me a sense of mystery, my wants and desires. But actually getting down to the nitty-gritty is really hard.
Something in me is transforming.
I've been trying to write a book for my entire life. But I've never done it. I guess I haven't felt like I had anything worthwhile to say. Or that I wasn't good enough to do it. And as much as I know that these are just stories I tell myself, still I haven't done the thing I've wanted to do most in my life.
The light is starting to feel different again. The way I see it is changing. The way it strikes through the air. It's as if something is more alive in it.
I am on a quest. It's hard to tell you what it's about. Probably won't make much sense. And it doesn't really matter.
Tonight, I took a walk. The moon was bright, Mars was red, and the streets felt different from the daytime.
The night sky was silent. A few stars peaking out. Dim lampposts lining the streets. Leaves pushed to the curb.
Someone I know said “there's something different about the autumn sun.” And I agree.
“I walk over the marsh saying I am I: and must follow that furrow, not copy another. That is the only justification for my writing, living.” – Virginia Woolf
I'm listening to Gareth Dickson. Phoebe Bridgers is queued up. There's something about the light of the early morning. I need soft music with it.
I always wanted to be a writer. Not for any sort of accolade or money. But just because I loved stories. They brought me somewhere. Made me think differently.