veronica.

part time writer. part time photographer. full time rambler history & book lover full of wanderlust. half filipino-half saudi arabian. future RN in the making.

I've never been this ANNOYED with a professor/educator since my high school AP chemistry professor.

So I have two Anatomy and Physiology professors: one for lab and one for lecture.

The professor for my lecture class is amazing. I adore him. Yes, his quizzes can be tricky (he likes his trick questions), however, his lecture and the notes he provides are wonderful. He is clear when he teaches. It's easy to learn from him as a result.

My lab professor, however? No. She is more confusing than my high school AP chemistry professor and that woman was DIFFICULT.

My lab professor: 1) Reads off the slides 2) Over lectures despite the fact that this is lab and NOT lecture. 3) Is incredibly unclear to the point that we had to DEMAND that she give us a list of structures to study for the practical and 4) *SHE MOVED MULTIPLE STICKERS AROUND DURING THE PRACTICAL*.

Yes, that's right.

She moved the identifiers during the practical when we only had a minute to answer the two questions per station and thirty seconds in the second go around.

She did this multiple times.

What sort of bullshit is that? Changing where the sticker is located changes the answer. These aren't muscles or bones where there's a little more leeway; the practical exam was on the nervous system and special senses. You move a sticker, you change the answer.

I shouldn't be standing there second guessing my answer when I KNOW that the answer I have based on where the sticker was, is correct.

The nerves? Okay fine, should have studied them better. Although even that was bullshit. Tell me this: how can we be expected to identify the nerves when the stickers are bigger than the nerves on the models themselves?

I'm so annoyed. I'm ANGRY. My grade is at risk because of this bullshit.

#digitaljournalpost

Write everyday, even if it's just a few sentences.

I think every writer has gotten this advice and even given it to other writers. Put your thoughts down on a piece of paper and just let the words flow.

But have you ever had one of those days when the words just won't transfer onto paper or screen? Have you ever had one of those days when all these thoughts and ideas swell in your mind, but when you go for your pen to write or for your laptop to type, the words never appear? They stay stuck up in your brain, unable to escape. Trapped.

What do you do when you want to write, but can't? What do you do when you feel like you're about to burst with words upon words upon words, but can't put the words onto paper? It's been happening a lot. What's causing it, I've wondered?

Stress? Anxiety? Work load? The perfectionist in me wanting things to be right from the start?

Still, I try to do something to ease the weight from the words; scattered words here and there. It works — sometimes. But I'll take sometimes. Sometimes is better than nothing because sometimes, words blossom.

Sometimes, a word turns into more words which turns into a sentence or two. Then it just goes from there.

It doesn't always work, but write a word or two everyday. Let it be messy. Let it be ugly. Let it jump all over the place and maybe make no sense. Just let go. Shatter those expectations of perfection. Write and write. Write small words, big words, sentences, fragments, essays, anything. Something is better than nothing.

#digitaljournalpost

It’s Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month and I just want to bring people’s attention briefly to this because this is near and dear to my heart.

Ovarian cancer is the 5th leading cause of cancer deaths among women or that 1 in 75 women will be diagnosed with ovarian cancer. and that a little over 14,000 women would die from it this year alone.

Unlike breast cancer which we always hear about, I hear little about ovarian cancer and as the daughter of an ovarian cancer survivor, this needs to change. People need to be more aware so that more funds can be poured into researching this cancer so that we have a means of early detection and better ways of treating the disease.

One of the things that makes ovarian cancer so deadly is the fact that only 20% of cases are diagnosed early and the fact that there really no early detection screening like with breast cancer where my mom so eloquently puts it, her boobies get turned into pancakes to check for cancer. My mom, for example, her cancer was caught only after her symptoms (those symptoms are bloating, pelvic/abdominal pain, lack of appetite or getting full quickly, and having to pee a lot) appeared and got worse. But when those symptoms show up, the cancer has usually already metastasized.

There are obviously tests and so on like checking for the CA-125 which would be high in women with ovarian cancer, but this isn’t a reliable test for ovarian cancer because if you have endometriosis, you would have an elevated CA-125

But again, there’s NO RELIABLE early detection screening for ovarian cancer.

So why this post? Basically to bring more awareness and hope that anyone reading this would try to think more about ovarian cancer. Maybe I’m hoping to inspire one of you future doctors and researchers out there to help research this cancer and find better cures and especially find a reliable early detection screening. 

Are there ways you can help right now? Of course! You can make donations to an organization like Ovarian Cancer Research Fund Alliance. And if you can’t donate, hey, awareness is one of the most powerful things we have against diseases because with awareness, comes more drive to do something about it and make a difference.

#cancer #digitaljournalpost

Kyoto.

Kyoto. 29th May 2018.

Kimono rentals are all the rage in Kyoto. Wear a kimono for a day for about $60 and go explore the city to take as many Instagram-worthy shots as possible. And all the while, possibly getting complimented and asked by fellow tourists and maybe some locals if they can take a photo of you. At least, that was the case for me. Call it egotistical, but I couldn't help but feel some pride that a group of elderly Japanese ladies came up to me and said I looked very cute and pretty. I can't help the pride I felt when a number of fellow tourists asked if they could take photos with me or photos of me solo.

That day? I felt extra pretty. Extra special.

Egotistical? Perhaps, but hey, I did rent the kimono to look good in photos.

#photos #japan2018 #digitaljournalpost

I did it.

I fucking did it.

I beat Spider-Man for the PS4 AND I obtained all the trophies. Yes, I finally 100%'d a game. Platinum trophy baby!

I'm so proud of myself. I'm not the trophy hunter, but nonetheless, I'm proud because I beat the game in four days and beat it completely. 100%.

But the game made it so fun to get those trophies that I couldn't help it. Okay, yes, there were a lot of moments of frustration, especially with the Sable battles, but God, the game kept me on my toes and made me hungry for more.

It's by no means perfect. To be honest, I was hoping for more side quests. But the story itself? Once I got to the third act, I was itching to finish and see the ending and oh boy, did I get rewarded. That ending? Broke me. Otto and Peter had such a good relationship so when it broke down like that? I could not stop crying. It was beautiful. It was painful. I have to give props to the actors themselves because they really sold it for me. The emotions just overwhelmed me.

But what really sent me over the edge was the sequence with Aunt May and Peter. Oh my God. I was sobbing. Already wounded from the Otto and Peter confrontation, the ending for Aunt May and Peter just made the tears flow even harder. It was more than painful. It hit me right in my heart and made it cry.

Even worse is that the game kept at it, too. The final, final post game cutscene with Norman and Harry? Jesus Christ. While it was nothing compared to the May and Peter cutscene, the one between father and son just punched me right in the gut.

But it's those post game cutscenes that leave me wondering about the future: will Insomniac Games make another Spider-Man game? Truth be told, I hope they do. I wouldn't mind it if it focuses on Miles, but I'd definitely love to see these devs take another bite of the apple.

#spiderman #videogames #digitaljournalpost

Made in Abyss is a BEAUTIFUL anime filled with dark twists and turns but also filled with so much hope. I highly recommend you take a few hours to watch it especially if you’re here in the states and have amazon prime. It’s one of those shows that doesn’t lull you into thinking it’s a sweet thing without any darkness. The darkness hits you in the face right at the first episode and builds and builds and builds. It does get slow in the middle BUT it picks right back up!! !

Also a warning there is SUPER dark concepts that involve children (no not r.ap.e because if there was i would have shut my laptop down), but it does have to do with adults taking advantage of children and using them for their own means. It also involves children getting severely injured. lots of blood and screams. It’s not pretty. Quite frankly, it made my stomach twist.

Episode 10 is ESPECIALLY a dark one so if you choose to watch it, just be prepared to see something that could make your stomach twist and then if you can survive that episode, be prepared for more fuckery.

This show is DARK. Not for the faint of heart. It’s Studio Ghibli combined with Junji Ito and Hideshi Hino. Hope and despair come together that tells the story of life's – and humanity's – duality.

#animereview

Calendar? Done.

New symbols/color guide for ban.do journal? Done.

BT21 study planner? In the works. Quite frankly, I'm wondering if I should bother using it. Maybe I could send it to cousin instead, I don't know. I don't even know why I got it in the first place. Takaw mata sort of moment back in Seoul while we were waiting for the flight back to NYC.

Honestly, I'm itching to go back to class. It's weird to say, but not really all things considered. I just want to finish. The amount of idiocy I did is ridiculous and there's so much regret flowing through me, but I can't turn back time. If I could, I would change so many things, but that's just pointless to think about.

October 10th. That's the last day to apply for candidacy. A scary date, for sure. But what's more terrifying? The wait. God, you'd think with a 3.8 I'd relax, but I can't. I need to get into this program. It's desperation at this point. It gnaws at me and makes me want to curl into a ball and cry.

But I can't. I can't let myself panic and be overcome with that crippling anxiety again. I can do this. I know I can do this. But I'm so scared. It's to the point of tears. I can make all these plans about bachelors and maybe doing a dual bachelors/masters program somewhere, but I will never make it there unless I make it into the nursing program. The RN to BSN to a masters is the best course for me at this point. I need to become an RN.

In the back of my mind, there's still that dream: to wear one of those spancy cabin crew uniforms and journey through the world. It's still a dream I'm going to hold onto, but I at least need to get that RN first. Maybe even get the BSN and then go apply to one of those airlines. Of course, there's that fear again: maybe I'll be too old to work cabin crew at one of those top airlines. The age I am now is the perfect age they seem to hire their crew. But — no, I can't think about that.

This sort of shit thinking is what leads me to panicking in the first place.

I have to have faith. I have to believe in myself. I can do this. I know I can do this.

#digitaljournalpost