I'm cold.

February 16, 2023

Do you ever feel like you’re missing something? Intentionally vague, I know; it needs to be.

I think my thirties have succeeded in reminding me of how life is so unremarkable. We’re here, living, and we’ll die, and that’s the gist of it. Beliefs regarding the afterlife aside, living in a microcosm of my own experiences is suffocating. I get tired of being here, with myself, dealing with life on my terms because I can’t be anyone but myself.

And sometimes, it scares me.

Being me, relying on me.

Me doesn’t seem like enough. I’m missing a part or a whole. I’m missing something.

Getting older just reminds me I’m running out of time to find it. The missing component to me.

I think I need to go back to therapy.