death, decay, and other things you'll find when you're entangled with yoshida hirofumi
「世界は残酷だと割り切れば/今朽ち果てるのも悪くない」 — Wanna Be Queen Bee, sung by USSS with lyrics, arrangement, and music by halyosy
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“...I just want to disappear from this world. I’m tired, Hirofumi-kun. Nothing is worth doing anymore. This world is not worth it.”
Silence.
Kura waited for Yoshida’s response, but instead of saying anything right away, Yoshida leaned forward, his bangs covering his eyes even more and closing Kura off from his thoughts. The beauty mark near the corner of his mouth was unmoving as his usual smile disappeared. She paused and could only gaze at the boy. His looks never failed to take her breath away, and this time was no exception. The stark color of his piercings seemed to glitter under the dimming sunset. His languid figure looked deep in thought as he closed their distance. The bike rack she put all her weight on felt like it could melt at any moment under the pressure she was under, especially since Yoshida was letting his leg fall on one of the poles, covering her legs and cornering her back.
The girl was afraid she had said something that angered him, but what was reflected in the sliver of his eyes visible to her were nothing but shadows—the ones she was never able to grasp despite their immutable presence in her life. Then he closed them as he leaned his head inches away from her shoulder.
“Senpai, if you think this world is that cruel,” he put his right hand on hers, “then how about we just rot away right now?” His voice was laced with those shadows, hushed and buried under the buzz of the outside world. “We can disappear into nothingness together if that is what you want,” he said, still closing his eyes.
Decay and death, Kura lowered her eyes. It’s already a part of her, isn’t it? She had fully embraced them, and Yoshida’s offer only sounded tempting as it rang inside her ears.
She looked down at her feet, at the countless bruises and marks left by her own incompetence, by her being weak. She only survived this long because of him. And aside from Yoshida himself, there’s nothing else left for her in this world. She didn’t have any ambition left, and any semblance of happiness she owed to him. The only real feeling she earned herself is the bitter taste drenching her tongue every time she fell deeper into her failure. So why should she refuse?
“Kura-senpai? What do you want to do?” Hearing her name from him was comforting, but doubt still lingered in her mind.
“Is rotting away with me even worth it for you?”
“I want you to be safe, and I’m willing to do anything for it.” No hesitation in his words.
Kura almost laughed. Dying together is safer, huh? She wanted to say it shouldn’t be, but she couldn’t deny it. She didn’t know if it’s safer for her body, but she knew it was for her soul or whatever they call it. She would rather die together with Yoshida than do anything in this world ever again.
“Mmm, I’ll do it,” she answered. Her dull gray eyes met his dark ones again as he pulled his head back. “But I’ll wait until everything is done. You still have a lot to do, right?”
“Of course.” The boy’s smile returned. She could never tell if it’s genuine. “Then, for now, please promise me you’ll back off from Public Safety.”
Kura nodded. “Anything for you, Hirofumi-kun.”