RE: RE: RE Your beard sucks. aka, #sobethoughts' beard sucks

I'll make this one a but more direct this time. Mind you it'll probably be my second last post on this blog, the last of which I've already written and intend on publishing straight after this one. I would have changed the order around but given the circumstances and because I didn't think you'd read my reply, least of all reply again yourself, this will have to do.

I must say I'm pretty disappointed in your reply mate. I asked for legitimate examples of how my post was pretty much as you said it, littered with provocative fallacies. I wasn't fucking around in asking, but clearly you seem to be in replying. You gave me one example of not only a tiny study (n=142) that isn't on the topic of beards at all, but you accused me of making a strawman, when in actuality that's exactly what you did with your chest hair argument bro.

they almost criticised themselves

almost

C'mon dude... stop being such a pussy and actually give examples.

I'll humor you just this once though, mostly because it shows how hard you were clutching at straws (even more so after your initial reply which was nothing but a cop-out with no actual argument present).

Here's a study with 3 times the amount of people surveyed, the results are in and the majority want men to avoid looking like a neanderthal which, if you want to go back and read my post again. That's the point I made.

I'll save you the trouble though because we've already established you're lazy:

Men wax your chest if you're unfortunately one of those hairy types. Look at laser surgery if you really have a growth problem.

Do I even need to go any further on this slide thread? I made what was an obvious reference. Men with a lot of hair have some very interesting 'coping mechanisms' I'll admit, but the majority of women want a hairless man with good noticeable physique. That's a fact.

Can we get back to beards now? Yes? Excellent!

Now, may I also direct you to this image below, which I think you either didn't read or conveniently 'forgot' to mention in favour of your chest hair strawman. Surprised still that you picked that of all things to argue, buy hey that's cope for you.

Beard hair

According to this chart. Less than 3% of women find having no beard very unattractive and less than 10% find it unattractive at all. No one finds slight stubble unattractive, which goes in line with me saying in my original post:

You can still have a little bit of hair on your face to scratch if you want without utterly nuking your physical attractiveness. A bit of hair on your face does not a beard make.

However, over 75% think a mustache sucks. Over 60% think a goatee sucks. Only 50% like a short to medium beard and for long beards it's only 20%.

I think the results are in buddy. You bearded folks really aren't as attractive looking as you think you are, and having a beard does nuke your physical attractiveness. Keeping your beard hair short at the very least, according to this infographic is the 'safest' option if we go just by this measly number of women (142) from this study that you proposed.

Mind you I'd like to point out that both studies we've discussed now argue only from a women's point of view. Men also have an opinion on each other's beards, whilst less invested and perhaps less relevant, it's still worth mentioning. My post wasn't purely about 'attracting' a mate of the opposite sex, which is obvious if you read the whole thing. It's also about building self confidence and not letting yourself become apathetic with your personal hygiene and practicing the art of healthy and regular grooming. Regardless of whether or not you are seeking or already have a partner of any sex. Long beard hair of any kind is a sign of apathy to ones own self-image. Chest hair is something that some people are sadly born with an having excess of. As I mentioned, if you are one of those guys who looks like a gorilla, wax that shit off and let your skin and body under that rug shine.

I'd like to say we could agree to disagree mate, but frankly seeing as you chose to focus on one minute part of my article, and mind you it was only a single diversion from the main topic; and also because I went so far as to humor even the bearded clowns from /r/beards AND I've provided not only a study of a larger sample size in this reply that refutes yours, whilst also highlighting how you conveniently didn't mention that infographic on the study you, yourself linked, which is only a short scroll down the metrics you mentioned. I'd say you've got yourself neck deep in crap at this point.

I am in the category that you suggested it is actually okay to have a beard.

There is no category where it is okay to have a beard. Unless you think that you are in the literal 0.1% of people who are famous because their beard is part of their trademark or brand and if you removed it you would be completely unmemorable. Do I even need to mention that I strongly doubt that.

No, it is not a neck beard; yes, my face is kept clean; and no, it's not unkempt, it is short, tidy and smells good.

According to you. a' la the hedge argument I opened with:

“You know that guy in your neighbourhood that owns a large garden hedge that spans the entire front length of his house. Whether or not it actually blocks the view of an otherwise nice front porch or does passersby a favour by obscuring an otherwise shitty view of his property. The point here is that your neighbour is the only one who personally gives a shit about that hedge. You don't care if that hedge was there or not, your neighbours don't give a shit and ultimately his wife wouldn't care if it was there or not either.”

Newsflash, that's not what everyone else thinks mate.

Believe it or not, I am a lion. I have dirty paws, an arousing roar and a mane that would titillate even you, should you ever run your fingers through it. You would be more than welcome to.

Yawn

Your beard sucks mate. If you're going to reply to this, I'll only be provoked again by an actual picture of this so called 5-star mane of yours (otherwise see my final post). At the very least I suggest hopping over to the /r/beards subreddit if you really don't have just a trash-tier neckbeard – possibly milking your beard unattractiveness for karma from those in kind. You certainly seem the type to care about that sort of thing.