A Letter To The Void

Waiting on you to blink me to life She said I'm her backup [gal] in the end I've never been one to pull away Say what you like, babe, love drunk in my bed It never seemed like I was worth all the fuss But if you made up your mind, then who could I trust?

I'm wasting my years on you, babe So you can call me your [girl]friend, or friend, anyway It was never like you to change The way that you view my life So fuck off, screw you, I'm fine

I'm just a mess who can't see my fate Tell me again how to better serve you Writing a post to get out my thoughts I'd just be worse off, you told me the truth “I just don't see you as a girl,” she would try And now you won't hear me say “this is my damn life”

I'm wasting my years on you, babe So you can call me your [girl]friend, or friend, anyway It was never like you to change The way that you view my life So fuck off, screw you, I'm fine

Tell me I'm not so useful anymore You're moving on, and I'm just a bore Say it to my face with this faded haze

(spoken, ranting, raw) Cus let's face it, you wouldn't have the guts to say it sober I'm worth so much more than you ever made me feel like And the thought of you ending it on the note of how bad you feel just makes me angrier It's like you literally never considered my feelings in your own selfish decisions And then you have the fucking nerve to come to me Saying shit like “I feel bad that things ended this way” All while fucking deadnaming me in the process I'm glad that you gave up on me, because I should have done it sooner Oh, and that surgery you told me not to pursue because it would make you sad? Fuck you. I'm getting it. I've needed it. Just leave me the fuck alone Go back to your sad life with your miserable “career” and choke on it You couldn't even make enough change to give yourself happiness Why would I expect you to do so for me?

I'm wasting my years on you, babe So you can call me your [girl]friend, or friend, anyway It was never like you to change The way that you view my life So fuck off, screw you, I'm fine Fuck off, screw you, I'm fine.