And Then There Were None
“It was lovely to see you again.”
I move to the door quickly with my eyes averted, I murmur agreement as I bolt for my car. Inside my car I take three deep breaths and say to myself, never again. Then I grimace at my own delusion. I know what foot guy brings, total chaos. I cannot go down this road again. It is raining lightly as I start my car, hook up my Bluetooth, and call the Professor (P).
I told P I would call him at this time to walk through a difficult conversation he has to have later. He asks about my dinner last night, he jokes that he can’t even recall what I was doing as there are so many men. I feel slutty again, I wonder if men ever feel slutty. I don’t tell him about foot guy. It’s been almost a month since he decided we wouldn’t have a physical relationship, and thereby joined my angsty man stable by default.
I am distracted... “I love your feet... and your lips...” Foot guy always starts strong. He is enthusiastic in his pursuit but it never takes long for it to develop an edge that will give rise to my anxiety. I know this is my low point, if I let go of foot guy I will now be back to the start.
Maybe it’s time. Open the barn doors...