it is always, always men
one of my favorite questions from non-sex worker friends is, ‘is it mostly men, who are your clients?’ i love it because i love the world that they live in, where that is even a question, where even the use of the term ‘mostly’ implied other, non-men, who want to pay for the pleasure of my company.
i've heard of some sex workers who see women, and couples, but i never have.
i imagine the curious widows who start google searching, innocently at first, finding lesbian porn and heart-moving erotica where a woman pays for another woman. their embers stirred, falling down the rabbit hole and googling more and more graphic words until they find how to hire an escort, and which ones cater to women. maybe they’re as nervous about their first time hiring a sex worker as their first time being with a woman. their inquiries are tentative, gentle, obsequiously respectful, asking many questions, belying nervousness but also abundant gratitude.
i imagine the strung-out business trip mom, wound too tight, feet aching from her heels, desperate to talk to someone who won’t condescend to her, and about something other than the fourth quarter returns. she wants company in her hotel room, she wants a massage, and she wants to get off. she comes at me with a crisp demeanor but sterling references who adore her. she melts in gratitude and relief under my touch.
since hearing about how Lily Allen hired sex workers while she was on tour, i have wondered what it must have been like to be one of those sex workers and score such a jackpot as a travelling pop star for the night. that’s the stuff of dreams.
but no, it is men. exclusively cismen. with their ball sacks and sandpaper chins and stabbing tongues and grubby fingers squeezing my nipples. it’s men chewing gum, to cover their cigarette breath, that they keep chewing THE WHOLE TIME so their spit tastes like juicy fruit. it’s short men, tall men, more small-cocked than not but that can be easier to handle. maybe if i got into domination, especially, and could start catering more to couples, i would see some lady clients. when i do doubles (‘threesomes’) and just get a chance to kiss a girl my heart blooms like an entire field of wild roses in the sunshine.
but otherwise, it’s men. it is always men.