avery (sw)rites !

right now is one of those times, and i’m finding it hard to critique a particular part of sex work, or have a need to break it down here. maybe sometimes the luxury veneer of the ‘high class escort’ lifestyle perception matches reality. luxury to me, here, is just lots of time to myself, lounging. i read an article about the future. i take selfies and scroll on twitter. i look at my list of projects, things i’m excited to build, a podcast, a collective, a mythology. travel.

it’s a long stretch between sessions today- a morning person and a night owl wanted me on the same day. it’s my first day back working in months, since i was away. i decided to make today a stay-cation at my downtown in-call. after my morning appointment- which was lovely, opulent- he gave me a massage for twice as long as i gave him one, and got me off first (this makes him one of the select few with whom i don’t have to fake it.) then i went to yoga, stretching out my body, sort of re-gaining myself and grounding.

and now i wait to get ready to go on a dinner date- a client i’d seen before (the sex marathoner) is seeing someone who is interested in playing with women. so we’re getting drinks- i won’t drink- with 'no pressure' (to her), during which he will at some point slip me a small donation. then, afterwards, i’ll see another repeat client. he is, i think?, sweet, if extremely un-demonstrative in a way that’s confusing to me. it’s hard to tell if he’s enjoying? himself. but this is his second time so he must like me. i know he liked talking about traveling with me.

i think i’ll at least make my target minimum for this month. i’m giving myself two months to see if i can pull this off, if sex work feels emotionally, physically sustainable, let alone financially. i’m in debt from my travels and freelancing of any kind let alone this wildly illegal kind always feels precarious.

but, for right now, and this is scary to even name at the risk of my hubris being struck down in retribution, i’m seeing repeat clients who have already treated me well. and i have mostly big expanses of time that i fill however i choose. right now, sex work is working, for me.

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two things about this: one, my sense of safety in doing sex work, which involves committing many illegal acts, and me charging what i do for my time, comes as the result of piles of privilege that sex work directly capitalizes on- my whiteness, my cis-ness (or passing cis-ness), my thin body, my education, my looks, my relative youth. lounging is not everyone’s experience, as i know it will not always be mine.

two, though i’m lounging now, sex work is work, and the only way to ensure everyone’s safety is full decriminalization of sex work. despite feeling safe, i am at risk of attacks by local and federal law enforcement, not to mention facing many obstacles to being a member of my community, like paying taxes and getting health insurance, or having any recourse if a client ever does me dirty.

ok, i couldn’t just paint you a picture of the lounging whore without the inescapable context of it.