“Good evening Twenty-Eights! Thank God it’s Monday, Monday Funday! Am I right, Jaemin?” Suara salah satu penyiar radio28 mulai mengisi gedung kampus yang sedikit kosong karena beberapa sudah di rumah masing-masing.

Mika lihat kearah jam tangannya, terlihat sudah jam enam lewat tiga menit.

“It’s starting, Mika,” kata Elivia yang tampaknya sangat semangat. “Biasanya tuh kalo Jaemin jadi announcer, suka ditemenin sama temennya si Lucas,” jelasnya.

“So true, Lucas. Radio28 is back again airing today! Featuring me, Na Jaemin, and..”

“Lucas Wong! That’s right, we’ll be accompanying you all from now, 6.00 PM til’ 8.30 tonight!”

“Alright, Twenty-Eights. Let’s see what’s today’s topic.”

“Today’s topic is,” kata Jaemin. “Ah wait, it’s a question.”

“The question is... What do you think a soulmate is?”

“Wow.. an interesting question isn’t it Cas?”

“Don’t ask me, Je.” I think today we’ll talk about what a soulmate is with our love expert and our young soon-to-be doctor, Na Jaemin. Sounds great am I right, twenty-eights?”

“Hahaha, I am actually not an expert in love, twenty-eights. But I do have an experience.”

Sejak tadi Elivia udah godain Mika terus. “Cie Mika cie.”

“Tapi aku gak percaya tau liv kalo Jaemin gak punya another girl disini, I mean masa gak ada sih?”

“Shhh.” Kata Elivia lalu menutup mulut Mika, “don’t overthink too much Mika.”

“Okay, twenty-eights! Let’s see how many questions do we have in our inbox for today,” suara Lucas kembali mengisi ruangan. “Wow! 178 questions already! The power of Na Jaemin, I guess hahaha!”

“Let’s see the first question... Hm..”

“Ah here! A question from aliciapresley98, ‘do you think soulmates exist? Can you explain what soulmate is with your own words?’” Kata Lucas, membacakan suatu pertanyaan dari penanya.

“Soulmates? I think they exist. Just not always romantically. I think there are certain people you will meet in your life who you just connect with more than anyone else and you just know it isn’t a typical thing and you understand each other perfectly.”

“Wow, nice words he got here right? I’m very astonished by his fascinating words. Looks like he’s very experienced hahaha. Alright alright, how about we move on to the next question.”

“Let’s,” kata Jaemin.

“Alright! Next question. A question from bentley98123 the question is ‘who do you think is your soulmate?’ Oooh, tough question, who do you think is your soulmate, Jaemin?”

“A soulmate won’t always be your ‘significant other.’ I mean it could be your friend or sibling or parent or teacher or the person you’re dating or whoever, it could be just about anyone you’ve ever interacted with.”

“Such beautiful words we got from Mister Na, but I wonder. Which person do you think is your soulmate? Is it your friend, sibling, teacher, parent, teacher, or the person you’re dating?”

“I think it’s the person I’ve ever date.”

“Woaah he didn’t even hesitate to answer, must be a lucky girl I see. Okay, twenty-eights shall we move on to the last question?”

“The last question is from aaliyah13 she asked, ‘if you could say anything to your future soulmate, what will you tell her or him?’ wow great question. I’m personally really curious what will Jaemin say to his future soulmate, must be something cheesy hahaha kidding guys.”

“The best thing about life is that everything I’ve ever lost has been replaced with something better. I might lose you a few years ago, but I hope someday the universe replace it with something better, a better version of you. Or maybe it’s just you, but just better than the last time I lost you.”

“Very specific yaa Mister Na. I wonder who she is haha but don’t find out guys, it’s privacy! Alright, the last event tonight is song requests! We have 67 song requests in our inbox woah I bet twenty-eights are very excited are you?”

“Kamu mau request lagu gak Mi?” Tanya Eliva.

“Masih bisa gak?”

“Masih, kamu DM aja di Twitter or Instagram.”

“Okay, okay.” Kata Mika. Awalnya ragu mau request atau ngga, tapi dari tadi ada satu lagu yang ia pikirkan sejak mendengar kata-kata Jaemin.

“Okaay, twenty-eight! Now we are going to pick the song randomly, starting in three, two, one.”

“Alright, Jaemin, would you like to read today’s song request?”

Jaemin membuka suara, “today’s song request is…” Namun suaranya terdengar terputus sebentar, “a request from user mikaaelatheia, she requested Yellow by Coldplay.”

“Ah I looove this song! Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones,” kata Lucas, sambil nyanyi satu potong dari lagu yang Mika tadi request.

“Here you go, twenty-eights, Yellow by Coldplay!”

Lagu tersebut mulai mengisi lorong-lorong kampus yang agak sepi, namun masih ada beberapa orang yang sedang sekedar ngobrol dengan teman-temannya.

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do Yeah, they were all yellow

A memory from summer 2019 began to fill Mika’s thoughts. It was a summer festival, students were performing in groups. Some of them are performing a drama, the other ones are performing their dance, but Jaemin and his friends are performing in a band.

Rey was the vocalist; his other friends (that Mika doesn’t actually know their names) played their bass, while Jaemin was the drummer.

“And your skin. Oh yeah, your skin and bones, turn into something beautiful. Do you know for you, I'd bleed myself dry,” Rey sang the song perfectly.

Then Mika faced Jaemin, he was looking at her the whole time. He once said this was one of his favorite songs. So when his favorite line on the song came he mouthed, “for you I bleed myself dry.”

The bell rings, a sign that he’s here in front of her hotel room’s door.

She thought the sequence of the event in her head was; open the door, hand in Jaemin’s wallet, close the door, and then get back to bed. I repeated, she thought.

But then when she opened the door, Jaemin was dressed in a black shirt and leather jacket, finishing the look with his Travis Scott x Air Jordan 1 Retro High kicks.

What is he well-dressed for? She thought.

“Hi, again.” She greeted.

“Hi, Mika.”

“Here’s your wallet, Je.” She said as she handed his wallet.

“Thanks,” he received his wallet and put it inside his light washed ripped jean’s pocket.

“Well, goodbye I guess?” She said as she thought her ‘business’ with him is concluded.

He nodded, “good night Mika,” he said.

But when she was about to close the door, Jaemin clenched it.

“Is there anything else you want to say to me, Je?” She asked as she was confused by his actions.

“Wanna get some fresh air?” He asked.

She stunned a little and frowned. “Now?”

“Yeah.”

At first, she thought it was just a ‘friendly’ walk not something else so she accepted his offer. “I’ll go get changed first.” She said then completely closed the door.

“What was I thinking?” She mumbled but then she decided to dress up anyway.

Mika then texted her mom said she’s going out with her friend, not mentioning his name. When her mom answered she applied a few beauty products wishing it covers her dark circles.

As she was ready she opened the door and finds him scrolling something through his phone. He noticed she was ready and asked, “udah?”

She nodded, “udah.”

It was about 8.32 PM in Melbourne. The sky was getting a little bit darker than when Jaemin walked into the hotel.

“Where are we actually going?” She asked, but he stayed silent.

They were walking on the sidewalks, the sound of the busy streets filled their ears.

She wanted to ask about the polaroid she saw in his wallet, but she decided not to since she was afraid it makes him uncomfortable.

“Have you ever think,” he started talking, “wait no, do you ever miss.. us?”

“Huh?”

“I missed us.” He said. “Us being together.”

Questions began to fill her head as she frowned and slowed her steps, now she’s behind him.

“I missed you, Mika.” He said but she could barely hear.

“Does that explain the presence of the polaroid picture of me during your first futsal win in high school?” She asked. “With your all-time favorite blue futsal jersey.”

“So you’ve seen it?”

“Yeah it kinda slipped off out of your wallet,” she explained.

“Spending two years in Melbourne feels like hell without you,” he uttered.

“So why’d you left in the first place?”

“It was never my willing. I can’t explain everything to you know, Mika. Sorry.”

“I understand.” She said, a little disappointed.

“How’s Jakarta doing?” He asked.

“Nothing much, our school’s futsal team’s doing bad without you though.” She said.

Jaemin laughed a little, “how many guys you’ve date when I left?”

Mika burst into laughter, remembering her terrible exes are giving her nightmares. “Two, I hate both. How bout you Je? I bet there’s a lot of pretty girls here in Melb.”

“Nah, I didn’t even have time to talk to them.”

“Then how are you here?”

“My mom’s backing me up hahaha.” He said then they laughed together.

He looked at her as she was seeing the moon, “I missed you.”

She knelt her head then smiled, looking directly to his eyes as if it's talking to her.

“Mika,” he softly called.

“Hm?”

“Can I hug you?” He asked slowly.

Should I? She thought for a second. Then she spread her arms and he went closer, wrapping his arms around her as if he’s been wanting it for so long.

She patted his back, then played with his hair a little. As he tightened the hug, she placed her head above his shoulders.

“I never left, Mika.” He whispered, his hands are now around her waist.

She feels his body shakes a little, so she tightened the hug again, patting his back.

“I missed you like crazy.” He whispered again.

Mika, who was still stunned by his sudden actions, kept patting his back at times.

His scent of perfume never changed and his warm hugs never fail to give her comfort.

Maybe tonight her Naje is back, or maybe not.

“Kita mau kemana sih,” tanya Mika.

“Mau beli bahan-bahan masak, Mi. Mami mau masak ih kamu gimana sih.”

“We can just order food, Ma.”

“Order food order food, masakan Mami sehat apalagi kamu pesen makanan mulu haduh Mika.”

Daripada debat sama Maminya yang bakal panjang lebar, Mika lebih memilih untuk nurut dan diam.

Sampainya di supermarket dekat hotel Mika, ia mengambil trolly belanjaan lalu jalan di belakang Maminya.

“Aku ke bagian snacks ya Ma,” katanya.

Mika gak terlalu suka makanan berat, makanya kalo beli snack banyak banget. Lagi asik milih snack tiba-tiba dia dipanggil. “Mikaa!”

“Kenapa ma,” tanyanya, sambil menengok kearah sumber suara. Namun saat ia melihat kearahnya, ternyata Maminya sedang berdiri disamping satu cowok yang Mika sedang kenal.

“Naje?”

“Tadi Mami gak sengaja ketemu sama Jaemin, Mi. Yaampun seneng banget ketemu sama kamu lagi duh si ganteng.”

Mika, yang masih sedang memproses keadaan berdiri di depan rak makanan ringan dengan satu kantong Lays di tangan kanannya dan dua bungkus Oreo di tangan kirinya.

“Okay, hi Naje. Nice to see you again then, sekarang let’s go Mami kan kita mau masak ya kan?” Kata Mika sambil memberi signal ke Mami untuk cepat pergi.

“Oh iya kan kita mau masak, Jaemin mau makan bareng kita gak?”

“Gak usah, Tante, aku makan di dorm aja gapapa.” Jawabnya.

“Ih pasti kamu mau masak ramen kan?” Tanyanya sambil melihat dua bungkus ramen di tangan Jaemin. “Udah mending makan bareng Tante sama Mika aja, Jaemin. Tante mau masak nih hehehe yuk bareng aja ya?”

Mika dalem hati udah cursing tapi masih stay calm aja, still wishing Jaemin declined her mom’s invitation.

Sedangkan Jaemin bingung juga, kalo dia nolak gak enak sama maminya Mika, tapi kalo terima juga pasti bakal awkward.

“Jaemin gak usah malu-malu yaa, yuk kita beli bahan-bahan.” Kata mami Mika lalu merangkul Jaemin.

Mika, yang masih di belakang mereka berdua masih terdiam, trying to process things.

Lalu Mika menghampiri Jaemin yang tadi sedang mencari daging, “Je padahal kalo mau nolak gak papa tau. I know you’re busy, nanti aku bilang ke Mami aja.”

“No, it’s fine.”

Jadi abis belanja bahan makanan, mereka bertiga ke kamar hotel Maminya. Kamar Maminya lebih besar dari punya Mika, ada dapurnya.

Maminya Mika, yang jago masak, kaget sama skill masaknya Jaemin. In fact, daritadi Mika sama Mami cuma liatin Jaemin masak.

“He’s a keeper, Mi. I want him as my son-in-law, please. Udah ya kamu sama Jaemin aja.” Tadi kata Mami bisik-bisik ke Mika.

He was sitting on the hotel’s lobby couch. She screamed inside looking at him. His look was quite simple, though, just a black crewneck and black jeans with a white cap on his head. A simple look but also very attractive, at least for her.

“Jaemin,” she called.

He stood up from his seat, “udah?”

She nodded. “Udah.”

Usually, on dates, Jaemin would put his arms around her. Telling how his day was, telling how cute her outfit was that day. But now all of those are just a past, maybe.

Passing the street was always one of Mika’s biggest fear and he knows that. So he switched his place, now the cars are facing him while his body’s covering Mika’s from the car lights and those noisy vehicles.

He grabs her hand, pulling her closer to him. “Je,” she called.

“Come here behind me.” He said, knowing she’s afraid of cars and busses on streets.

After passing the street, he releases her hand. Disappointment colors her face, he knows it. But what he does after all? All he can do is wait.

“Mau kemana?” He asked.

“Maybe… just a quick stroll down the streets?”

“Okay.”

She wanted to make another conversation. There are so many questions she wants to ask in her head. But how to ask him?

“Je.” She called, again.

“Hm.”

“How are you, really?” She said, lowering her voice.

He seems to sigh a little, “what do you think?”

She stared at him for a while, “you seem fine, Je. I mean you look happier here, except your eyes get a bit darker.”

He chuckled, “there’s a lot of things you didn’t know, Mika.”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact that I’m happy here.”

“So.. you’re not?”

He shook his head, “not really.”

“Why?”

Because guilt is haunting me to death, Mika. But he didn’t answer instead he asked her, “are you happy, Mi?”

Am I happy? She thought. Then she smiled, “Yeah, I am.”

She was lying and he didn’t know that. But he still tries to give a smile. Glad to hear that, Mi.

As they were walking, Jaemin felt something was touching his right foot. He headed down to see what’s touching it.

Turns out it was a toddler. He looks like he’s lost, so Jaemin grabs him towards his chest and carries him with his left hand.

“Hey, where’s your mother?” He said with a soft voice.

Mika, who was facing the other way looks at the baby and Jaemin. “Is he lost?” She asked.

“Iya.”

“Ayo, ke information center aja Je.”

“Okay,” he said to her.

Then she faced the baby, “wait for a while, okay? We’re gonna help you.” She said as the baby seems to calm a little.

“Mau aku yang bawa, Je?”

“Nggak, it’s fine.” He answered.

Mika was struggling to find the information center while Jaemin was trying to calm the baby down as he was starting to tear up realizing that his mother was not with him.

“Je, sini deh. Let me carry the baby. Kamu yang nyari pusat informasi.” She said then she carefully takes the baby from Jaemin’s arms.

“Hey, sweetheart what’s your name?” She asked.

“L-Liam.” He answered.

“Liam? That’s a cute name. How old are you?”

Liam looks confused, he doesn’t look like he has any idea how old is he.

She laughed, “hahaha that’s fine Liam. Don’t worry we’re gonna help you find your mom, okay?”

He nodded. Then he pointed at her. “What’s wrong, Liam?”

“You wanna know my name?” She asked and Liam nodded.

“My name is Mika.” She said.

“Mika,” Liam repeated. “That’s right! Good job Liam.”

Then he pointed at Jaemin. “You wanna know his name?” And he nodded again.

“His name is Jaemin.” She said.

Liam was struggling to pronounce Jaemin’s name, “Jae?”

“Jaemin.” She repeated.

“Jaemi,” Liam said.

She laughed again, “Jaemi, that’s a cute name isn’t it?”

Then Liam laughed together with her, “Mika Jaemi,” he said. “Mika Jaemi soulmates.” He said again.

Mika was definitely shocked when she heard that coming out of a toddler’s mouth but she petted Liam’s head softly and smiled.

Little did she knew, Jaemin, who heard everything, smiled too.

They arrived at the information center, Jaemin talked to the security and handle everything. While Mika accompanied Liam to play in the playground nearby because Liam said he was bored.

Jaemin signaled Mika to come. Then Mika looked at the woman beside him, Liam’s mom.

“Liam, look your mommy is here! Let’s go see your mom, okay?” She said to him as he nodded and grabs her hand and walk towards Jaemin and his mother.

Liam’s mother seems so worried and she thank them for helping his son. Jaemin and Mika were very glad to see the mother and son reunited.

“Thank you very much for your help, I thought I would lose my Liam.” She said.

“No problem,” Mika answered.

“Are you two a couple?” She asked.

“No,” Mika said.

“Yes.” But Jaemin said the opposite.

“We’re good friends,” Mika explained.

“Ah I see,” she said. “Once again thank you so much for your help, I owe you a lot. Have a great day!”

“Cute kid.” He said.

“He called you Jaemi haha.”

“He also called us soulmates,” he said.

“Are we?”

“Do you want to be my soulmate?”

Deja Vu

National Gallery of Victoria

The last time she remembered visiting a museum was about three years ago, with Jaemin. So when she first stepped into the museum she remembered him.

She remembered they went to Museum Tekstil in Jakarta, he brought his camera and captured the batik textiles in the museum. She smiled a little remembering the sweet memories with him, ah yes all of those are now just memories.

Looking at those acclaimed art pieces, through the hallways, and through every wall.

She looked at one art piece. It was beautiful, she thought. She then took her phone and captured it.

Mi kamu berdiri di sana coba, aku mau foto. Nih liat hasilnya, Cantik banget kamu Mi.

A memory flashed inside her head. Those days when things were so much easier, and when the time was so precious. Every single second she spends with him is kept in memory in her brain where she won’t forget, even a little bit.

“Ah, I should be getting over him. C’mon Mika if Jaemin can forget, you can too.”

As the museum is quite spacious, she gets a little lost. Finding where’s the exit door.

“May I help you?” A stranger asked. He’s tall, a little bit skinny, and wears a white t-shirt with light-washed jeans.

She stunned a little, “I was having a little difficulty finding the exit door haha.”

“Let me show you, here follow me.” He said as he guides Mika to the exit door.

“What’s your name, Ms?” He asked.

“Mika, Mikaela.”

“Nice to meet you, Mika. I’m Jaehyun, Jung Jaehyun.” He said. “I’m half Korean.”

Nama lo beneran Na Jaemin? Iya. Kok kayak bukan nama Indo? Ayah gue orang Korea.

“Mika? Is there any problem?”

“Ah, no sorry. So where’s the exit door?”

“Just go straight, then turn left, and then you’ll see the security office there. Then just go right and there you go.”

“Straight, left, security, then go right?” She asked, making sure of his words.

“Right.”

“Alright, thank you…”

“Jaehyun, call me Jaehyun.”

“Thank you Jaehyun.” She said with a smile.

“Hey, Mika.” He called.

Mika, who was already walking to the exit door, faced back again. “Yes, Jaehyun?”

“Wanna go out for a meal?”

Mika. Iya? Mau makan gak? Bareng. Emang lo udah selesai futsal? Udah, yuk.

“Mika?”

“Sorry sorry, Jaehyun. Sure.”

“You seem like you’re thinking of something. Is something or someone bothering you?”

“No no sorry. I just um you remind me of someone.”

“Your ex?”

“No-”

“I understand, Mika.”

“Sorry, Jaehyun. Should we get going?”

“Yes, sure.”

They both exited the museum and search for some foods to eat. “Are you thirsty? I wanna go get some water.” She said.

“Kinda, can you get me iced water? I’ll change.”

Mika aku haus abis futsal. Mau aku beliin minum, Je? Mau, air dingin ya Mi. Iya, Je.

“Mika?”

“Sorry, Jaehyun. Sure.”

She went to the drink stall and get two bottles of iced water.

“Jaehyun.” She called.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry I think I should get back to my hotel, I think I don’t feel so good.”

“No no don’t apologize. I’m sorry for asking you to eat with me. Do you want me to accompany you to your hotel?”

“No, Je. I mean, Jaehyun. It’s fine. Thank you, Jaehyun. It’s nice knowing you. See you later!” She said then left Jaehyun in front of the drinking stall.

“I didn’t even get her number yet.” He mumbled.

Jaemin frozed. She’s here. She, Mikaela, the girl he left two years ago was here. He turned back, and he found her.

What he didn’t notice is that her eyes are wet.

He stood up from his seat, taking a seat in front of her.

“Mika.” He called

“Je.”

She smiled, but he didn’t. “Je kamu-”

“Why haven’t you delete the video?”

She stunned. She thought she would get an ‘I miss you Mika’ or a ‘How are you, Mika?’ but she’s wrong. “Belum sempet.”

“Apus sekarang.”

She was really struggling to hold back her tears, but then she opened her phone and deleted the video right away.

He was avoiding eye contact and she knows it. “Mika.” He called again.

This time tears were shown clearly on her lower eyelid. “How are you, Je?”

He stayed silent for a while then answered, “fine.” I’m not fine, Mika.

She smiled bitterly. He was doing fine, while she needs more than six months to get over it.

“I bet Melbourne’s treating you good, Je. I’m happy for you.”

It didn’t. But all he did was nod and smiled bitterly, “thanks.”

“What takes you here, Mi?” He asked.

“Studying, I’m studying here.” She answered.

“Kapan nyampe?” He asked, again.

“Baru tadi.”

You should rest, Mika. “Oh.”

There were so many things he wanted to say to her, like that one time he went to a music festival wishing she was there with him, he wants to tell her about his friends, he wants to show her his new guitars and played her some songs. But all he did was nothing.

I missed you like crazy, Mika.

I want to wrap you in my arms and never let you go.

I want to give you 987 reasons why I love you.

“You seem a lot happier, Je.” She said.

Only if she knew. “Thanks, Mi.”

“Kamu disini ngapain, Je?”

“Sama kayak lo, belajar.”

Lo. She laughed bitterly realizing it. But it wasn’t his fault, though. They’re not a couple anyways, she thought.

“We’re really that over ya, Je?”

I don’t want us to be over, Mi. “Maunya gimana?”

“If you want us to be over then I won’t bother you anymore, and you too.”

No, he doesn’t want to.

“Can you say my name?” He asked, changing the topic.

“Hah?”

“Say my name, my full name.”

“Na Jaemin.”

I miss you saying my name, Mi. The next second he smiled, the smile was really sincere, like the smile Naje used to give. But the next second he stopped smiling.

“I think I should get going, Je.” She said, packing up her things and stood up.

Stay. Stay, please. For a little more.

“Lo stay dimana, Mi?”

“Di hotel depan, for three days. Abis itu baru pindah ke dorm.”

He nodded. Can I get a hug, Mika?

“Mika,” he called.

“Iya?”

Mika, you deserve the whole world. I wanna hug you until our lungs are filled with butterflies. You’re the woman of my dreams. Mika, you don’t understand how much I love you. Even if the clock stops clicking my world still revolves around you. Mika, I’m sorry. You’re my world.

“Je? Kenapa?”

“I will always love you, Mikaela.”

“Apa, Je?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay, goodbye Je.”

“So there won’t be a ‘see you later, Je’ for me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Sorry, nothing.”

What she didn’t notice is that he started crying when she entered the hotel. He’s been crying over her for the past two years but this night seems different. She’s there, his Mika is there, but he couldn’t say anything.

He places his hood above his head and places his AirPods on his ears. Melbourne night sky was a witness. A witness that he was in pain, trying to hold it himself.

But Melbourne night sky was also a witness that she was in tears the whole night. Thinking that she’s the only one that still feels the same.

Setelah menerima pesan dari Jaemin, Mika segera keluar dari kelas untuk menemuinya di lapangan. Di tengah perjalanannya menuju lapangan, Mika bertemu dengan kembarannya, Mikael.

“Mi, hari ini pulang sama siapa?” Tanya kembarannya.

“Pulang bareng Naje, El. Lo duluan aja bareng Pak Somad,” katanya.

“Oke.”

Sekarang Mika sudah sampai di lapangan, disana ada pacarnya, Jaemin, yang sedang ngobrol dengan teman-temannya.

“Jeee cewek lo noh dateng,” kata salah satu temannya, Rey namanya.

“Mau sekarang?” Tanya Jaemin.

“Loh, kamunya udah selesai belom? Kalo udah ya sekarang aja,” jawabnya.

“Ya udah, duluan ya Rey, Vier.” Kata Jaemin.

Setelah itu mereka berdua pergi dari lapangan, “nih mau minum ga?”

“Mau, haus.” Jawab Jaemin lalu menerima botol minum dari Mika. “Siniin tote bagnya, Mi. Keberatan ga?”

“Ngga kok bisaa, itu tangan kamu udah bawa tas juga kan.” Jawabnya.

Ngobrol-ngobrol sebentar, ga sadar kalo udah nyampe didepan cafe tempat mereka biasanya pergi, eh bukan mereka aja deh. Willows, namanya. Cafe dekat sekolah mereka yang ramai dikunjungi oleh pelajar-pelajar untuk belajar, makan, atau bahkan pacaran.

“Kamu cari tempat duduk aja dulu, Mi. Biar aku yang pesen,” kata Jaemin. “Roti bakar coklat keju oreo kan?”

“Iya hehe,” jawabnya. Mika duduk di salah satu bangku dekat jendela. Ini tempat favorit mereka, dimana mereka bisa melihat pemandangan diluar dari jendela ini.

Sore itu hujan, banyak pelajar maupun pekerja yang sedang berjalan menuju tujuan mereka masing-masing menepi. Jaemin selalu menyukainya, hujan.

Tidak lama kemudian, Jaemin kembali. Hari ini entah mengapa mukanya tampak lebih lelah dari hari-hari sebelumnya. Laki-laki itu memang jarang tersenyum, entah mengapa. Namun jika ia tersenyum, dunia bahkan sampai dasar laut langsung terang, kata Mika.

“Je kamu kenapa?” Tanyanya.

“Nggak kenapa-napa? Kenapa?” Jawabnya sambil mencoba tersenyum.

“You seem unhappy. Kenapa, Je? Tumben,” katanya.

“I’m fine, Mika. Beneran kok.”

“Awas ya.” Kata Mika lalu membuka tote bagnya untuk mengambil power bank.

“Oh iya Je, nanti malem callan ya please aku mau liat Pigu.”

Jaemin sedikit tersenyum, “iya, ga janji tapi ya aku mau ngegame.”

Mika langsung cemberut, “ah males ngegame terus.”

Sekarang senyuman Jaemin makin lebar, merasa gemas dengan pacarnya ia pun mengusap pelan kepalanya, “gemes.”

“Tapi nanti kalo ngegame aku ikut nonton ya,” katanya.

“Iyaa, Mika.”

“Mika,” panggilnya.

“Hm?” Tapi ga ada jawaban dari Jaemin.

“Kenapa Je?”

“Enggak,” jawabnya.

“Aneh.”

“Mika,” panggilnya lagi.

“Apaaa?” Tanyaya.

“I often don’t express my feelings through words, but you know I love you, right?”

“Iyaaa tau Je, I love you more.”

“Always remember that, okay? Sorry if I can’t express my feelings, sorry kalo aku ngegame terus, sorry if I often make you worried, sorry if I can’t-”

“Jaemin, stop. You’re perfect for me. Just the way you are. Throw those negative thoughts away, okay? As long as I’m with you, and you’re with me, we’re okay. Understand?”

“Iya, sorry Mika.”

“Jaemin kamu sekali lagi bilang maaf aku tinggalin deh.”

“Hehe jangaann, tuh makanannya baru dateng.”

“Kok kamu pesen kopi doang?” Tanya Mika.

“Kenyaaang,” jawabnya.

“Kenyang apaan? Tadi kan abis futsal ih sini Je makan roti bakarnya bareng aja.”

“Gak usah Mikaa.”

“Je, makan.”

“Iyaa makan bareng deeh.”

“Hehe yey,” katanya.

Sore itu, di tengah-tengah hujan bulan Desember. Mika terlihat bahagia, sama dengannya. Jaemin. Senyuman di muka mereka sama-sama merekah. Mika berharap, Jaeminnya tetap ada disini, setidaknya sampai besok.

Little did she know, that afternoon was her last time she spends it with him.

Driving through the sunset, jamming to his playlist, and being with her has been his all-time bucket list. So here they are, driving through the empty highway, singing their favorite songs together.

He started to grab her hands. Sending warmth from him to her. She, Aubrey, smiled as he tightened his hands on her.

Ain't never felt this way Can't get enough so stay with me It's not like we got big plans Let's drive around town holding hands

His favorite song began to fill the silence in his car. He smiled, this is what he always dreams of. He could never imagine if he decided not to click his high-school crush’s Instagram icon on his home page.

And you need to know You're the only one, alright, alright And you need to know That you keep me up all night, all night

She smiled as she felt the lyrics. He always keeps her up all night. Thinking if his feelings for her are mutuals or the opposite.

She stared at him, her moon. As he started to sing the lyrics, “Oh, my heart hurts so good. I love you, babe, so bad, so bad.” Dramatizing his actions, pounding his chest with his fist as if he’s in so much pain.

She laughed at his actions, “cut off your dramatic ass.”

He smiled, she looked happier than ever. She smiles as the sun reflects into her eyes, shines brighter than any star.

She smelled like Grasse Rose with the boldness of Damascus Rose. Her scent made him lose his consciousness. He tilted his face, “did you remember what I said earlier about being too pretty?”

She frowned, “when?”

“I said don’t dress up too pretty,” he said as he went closer to her face. “Because, I'm hella obsessed with your face,” following the song lyric.

He didn’t stop until there, “but I guess I was wrong.”

“Why?” She wondered.

“Because you’re still pretty even without trying to be pretty.”

Her timid self never fails to make him flutter, she hid behind his semi-buff hands trying to hide her face.

He chuckled a little, “you know hiding your face doesn’t cover your beauty.”

“What do you mean?” She said, still behind his shoulders.

“Your scent,” he answered. “What perfume are you using?” He asked.

She opened her purse and grabbed a pink-rectangular glass bottle, “this one.”

“Miss Dior,” he pronounced the label on that rectangular glass bottle.

He smiled, again. Grabbing her hand, again. And slowly moving it closer to him, giving a soft yet loving kiss on her hand.

“I couldn’t imagine if I didn’t notice you during the Student Orientation performance,” she confessed.

“We both know what it called, right?” He asked.

At first, she struggles to understand, but she gets it.

“Fate,” they said.

HELLO GUYS WIWIWIW

20.35 Nanny’s Pavilion

Laki-laki berusia sekitar 50 tahun memasuki restoran dengan setelan kemeja hitam yang digulung sampai tengah lengan, ditambah jam tangan Tag Heuer di pergelangan tangannya.

Mencari anak laki-laki pertamanya yang ia terakhir ketemu 2 tahun lalu dengan alasan yang sama, tentang Aubrey.

Dari kecil memang laki-laki bernama Kenneth ini jarang dikasih perhatian oleh bapaknya. Entah alasan pekerjaan atau yang lain.

“Papa,” panggil laki-laki tersebut. Yang dipanggil tersenyum kearahnya, “Ale,” ujarnya.

Mendengar apa yang barusan diucap oleh papanya, jujur Kale mau nangis. Udah 8 tahun lamanya sejak ia terakhir dipanggil dengan panggilan tersebut yang hanya dipanggil oleh sang ayah.

“Apa kabar, Pa?”

“Capek, kak.” Jawabnya.

“Kenapa, Pa?”

“Biasa, kerjaan lagi hectic. Anak-anak lagi aktif-aktifnya juga,” jawabnya.

Ah iya, adik-adik tiri Kale baru berusia sekitar 8 dan 4 tahun.

“Sama kayak kamu, kak, pas kecil. Imut, kecil, berisik, gabisa diem hahahah,” katanya. “Sekarang udah besar ya kamu, dewasa banget. Gak nyangka papa kak.”

“Iyalah sekarang udah gede masa kecil terus,” kata Kale, yang lagi nahan tangis.

“Jadi gimana adikmu, kak? Masih mau ngambil Monash?”

“Iya, Pa. Kayaknya Aubrey beneran gak mau ngambil Kedokteran.”

“Papa mau banget, kak, punya anak dokter. Dulu pas kakekmu sakit-sakitan Papa kelas 3 SMA. Cita-cita Papa mau jadi dokter biar bisa obatin kakekmu. Eh tapi gak keterima, Papa masuk kuliah kakekmu meninggal dunia.”

“Papa mau nanti pas umur Papa udah gak panjang lagi atau Papa sakit-sakitan, anak Papa yang obatin Papa, nak.”

“Iya Pa, aku ngerti. Tapi Aubrey bilang passion dia bukan di Kedokteran. Papa gak mau kan anak kesayangan Papa depresi kayak aku?”

“Iya emang dulu Kale berhasil masuk Kedokteran tapi baru masuk beberapa bulan Papa ilang.”

“Papa harusnya bisa punya anak dokter, tapi kenapa waktu itu Papa pergi? Kabur ke luar negeri, ninggalin anak istri. What is that behavior, Pa?”

“Kenneth, jangan mulai.”

“Sorry, Pa. Aku cuma heran kenapa saat itu Papa ninggalin kita semua kayak gitu. Padahal beberapa hari sebelum Papa pergi, Papa bilang Papa bangga sama Kakak, Papa sayang sama Kakak. Why all of a sudden you changed and I never had a chance to feel a father’s love my whole life.”

“Yes, Papa bangga punya anak kayak kamu nak. Papa—“

“Then why you leave? After struggling so many tests to get to Medicine School and after all my struggles all I got is you leaving this country and not long after that you marry a woman who is 2 years older than your first son!”

“Kenneth, look, I’m sorry.”

“A sorry doesn’t solve what I’ve been through all these years. Di depan Aubrey sama Keanu emang aku kayak pahlawan buat mereka, tapi emang mereka gak tau dulu pas Papa baru pergi aku ada hutang dimana-mana sampe didatengin Dept Collector?”

“Kamu lagi kenapa, Kenneth?”

“No, aku ga kenapa-napa. All I want is you allowing my sister to pick her own choice for college. That’s it and I won’t bother you again.”

“Oh and please tell your wife to stop messaging me for money,” kata Kale.

Mendengar itu, pria dengan kemeja hitam tentu saja terkejut. “Kale, dengerin Papa.”

“Bilang ke Aubrey, now I agree with all her decisions and it’s all up to her whether she wants to take Kedokteran or not but,” ujarnya.

“But what?” Tanya Kale.

“Look, my company is dealing with a few problems right now. Kemungkinan besar perusahaan Papa bentar lagi bangkrut, nak.”

Karma. Kata Kale di dalam hati. Dari dulu pas Papa memutuskan untuk memisah dari Mama his only reason is because dia malu punya istri dari keluarga miskin jadi he decided to marry a daughter from a rich family. Dan Kale gak akan pernah memaafkannya karena itu.

“You lowered my mother, left your family, and left me! Just for a woman from a rich family, but look what you got now? Hahahah. Ketawa banget aku Pa. Sure, what can I help you? Giving some money to your wife and daughters?”

Pria itu menghela napas, “iya, kale. Papa minta tolong kamu untuk meminjamkan beberapa uang untuk Papa.”

“I would give my money for you, Pa. But for your wife? Sorry it’s out of my business.” Kata Kale lalu merapikan pakaiannya dan berdiri dari kursinya.

“I’ll send you some money after this. And please tell your wife to stop messaging me, also stop asking Kean to stop racing, it’s his hobby and talent. Oh and last thing, ask your wife to stop sending death threats to my mother. Thank you for your time Pa, sehat selalu. Kale pamit.” Ujarnya lalu keluar dari restoran.

Keluar dari restoran, Kale memutuskan untuk mencari udara segar diluar. Hari ini sebenernya dia beneran ada urusan sama salah satu temannya untuk berbisnis, tapi karena ia ingin membicarakan sesuatu dengan ayahnya yang berhubungan dengan adiknya, jadi Kale membatalkannya.

“Loh, Bang Kale?”

Yang dipanggil nengok, “eh Mark ngapain disini malem-malem?”

“Mau jemput Bunda dari kantor, bang.”

“Kantor Bunda lo di gedung itu?” Tanya Kale sambil menunjuk kearah gedung tersebut.

“Iya bang.”

“Oalah, sama dong kayak Papa gue.”

“Wah iya?” Kale ngangguk. “Oh iya, lo kesini ngapain bang? Ada kerjaan ya?”

“Enggak, tadi abis ketemuan sama Papa.”

“Ah gitu,” kata Mark bingung mau jawab apa.

“Mau ngopi ga Mark? Bunda lo masi lama?”

“Katanya sih masih lama soalnya ada meeting. Kalo mau ngopi boleh bang,” jawabnya.

“Yaudah yuk,” kata Kale lalu mengajaknya ke café dekat restoran tadi.

Setelah memesan kopi, mereka berdua duduk di tempat smoking area.

“Lo ngerokok ga Mark?” Tanya Kale.

“Enggak, bang.”

“Bagus, jangan ya.” Katanya, “maaf ya gue ngerokok Mark.”

“Kata Aubrey di keluarganya ngga ada yang ngerokok.”

Kale tertawa, “Aubrey sama Kean tuh.. apaya. Mereka taunya gue yang sisi baiknya doang, Mark.”

“Gue emang ga ngerokok kok. Jarang, cuma pas ada banyak pikiran aja.”

“Sekarang lagi ada banyak pikiran ya bang? Kenapatuh?”

“Biasalah, family issues,” jawabnya. “Mark, lo anak pertama kan?”

“Iya, bang.”

“Tetep kuat ya. If anything happens to your family, stay strong jangan menyerah karena anak pertama akan menjadi inspirasi bagi adik dan orang tuanya. And if nothing happens to your family, be thankful for it and please make your parents proud, Mark.”

“Aubrey, Keanu, dan gue. Keluarga kita bukan keluarga yang bahagia, lo tau kan? I mean we are close to each other but not really to our parents especially our dad.”

“My dad... He’s uhh apa ya, he’s not a responsible man. Gue kesel banget sama dia. Gue mau nunjukkin ke dia that I’m not like him.”

“Years ago, when my father left. Aubrey onced told me, ‘Kakak, prove Papa that you’re not like him. Get up on your knees and start proving. You wouldn’t able to prove anything if you only run away from your problems’ she said.”

“Kalo Aubrey malam itu gak bilang gitu, I would’ve run away too, you know. But when I saw Aubrey, Keanu, and my mother’s eyes. They saw hope in me, and I’m their only hope.”

Dan dari perkataan Kale itu, sekarang Mark sadar. Bahwa dibalik kesuksesan seseorang, ada banyak perjuangan dibaliknya. Dan Mark juga sadar, bahwa tulang punggung keluarga tidak hanya seorang ayah. Namun juga seorang anak pertama, yang sedang berusaha menjadi yang terbaik untuk keluarganya.

Kadang dibalik keluarga yang terlihat baik-baik saja, ada sesuatu yang tidak baik-baik saja.

Dibalik seseorang yang terlihat baik-baik saja, ada sesuatu yang sedang membebaninya sampai ia tidak bisa tidur memikirkannya.