chaosorc

She wrote the date December twenty-first on an index card and stuck it in her mirror at the dresser where she would see it when she got ready at the start of each day. She had pulled down her photos months ago, they sat in a pile on the chair next to the trash. She hadn't found the strength to slide them in yet, but looked at them from time to time and considered it.

Seeing the date has made it easier

The day you are going to die

Yeah, knowing that that is going to be the end

How are you going to do it

Does it matter

I guess it does not

It does not

She typed on her phone and glanced up at the date occasionally, knees together, feet crossed, smiling and nodding along with the music.

---

She stood by the curb in the cold, long black shining jacket, a long black cloth covering her hair. She looked like a nun to him.

He was talking to two men, one on each side.

He looked at the one on his right, excuse me, and stepped directly between them and walked up to her.

Hello, I'm Jere

She looked like she couldn't believe what was happening, she looked at the street like she might run across it, glanced over his shoulder and saw the two men staring at them in disbelief.

Liz

He looked down at his hand and back to her, she slowly put her hand out and he gripped it and pumped it once.

Nice to meet you

Thanks

Are you being stood up?

What?

You look like you are being stood up, is that happening right now?

No, she chuckled nervously.

Alright, I wanted to make sure because you keep making eye contact with me.

She looked down.

That's what I thought.

She smiled and looked up at him, I'm just looking around, seeing who is here.

Is that so

She looked past him again, your friends are staring.

I don't give a fuck.

She flinched like he hit her.

I want your socials. Are you gonna add me?

She looked side to side to see who else was watching, nobody it was just his friends staring in disbelief, one with a beer in his hand and the other with a clear plastic cup.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and paged to his social media app, to the search page, and handed it to her.

I don't have that app.

What do you have?

She recited a few and he pulled up the search on one that he also had.

I could give you my number.

Want to text me? He switched to that app on his phone and typed, this is Jere, then handed it to her.

She typed in the number and her name and hit send.

Text me if he doesn't show, I want to talk to you.

Okay.

He turned around and faced his friends, stepping forward to close the circle.

Brazen

Who's that

No, he pointed at him.

They laughed.

---

Did you wind up going

Fuck no

Why not

I don't go to shit alone it's fucking sad

Well I would have gone

You said that

---

She turned off the road and into her apartment complex, came from the side street that ran along the area where town ended and the forest began, it went on for a stretch before the lake. Massive, black, and sprawling in the distance, only visible in winter and this was spring so the leaves had returned. A wall of darkness that shimmered when the wind blew. And someone had put out the street lights so it was just headlights and the exterior light shining yellow past the dumpsters and fenced in children's playground. Black bars, wood chips and small gray rocks, a facade to navigate in order to recycle cardboard.

She stopped on the other side of the garages, a way from the apartments and the lights so she could leave her music up loud. A low strumming accompanying a reverberating drum tapping. A woman joined, singing about how no one would ever love her again, not the way the man she feared would leave her.

She turned off the engine so she could hear it more clearly, then sat in her car crying. Her face growing uglier, more teeth and drool, blew her nose into the sweatshirt fetched from the back seat when she couldn't find a tissue.

The night was silent outside her car. It was late enough at night that everyone was asleep. Not even people returning from the bar on the road now.

The music included the sound of dogs barking but it wasn't at that part yet. She heard something hissing and moving in the forest behind her. Looked in her rearview mirror and a slender muscular woman stood red in her tail lights. She immediately took her foot off, went dark and the hissing continued, the sound of something crawling on the trunk and roof of her car, skittering.

She covered her face with the sweatshirt, tried to bury her hands in it, the dog barking began and the sound outside stopped. She peeked and a mass of snakes swirled into the forest darkness.

The song faded out and the chorus held one final note as the dogs had really picked up, then the muted sound of a woman's scream then the song ended.

She sat in silence, staring wide eyed at the rearview mirror from behind the sweatshirt.

The next song started and it was a woman cooing along with a jangling guitar, she immediately turned it off and sat in silence and watched for a few minutes more. She pulled out her phone and looked at it, unsure who to text or what to do. She looked at a list of people she could message but then noticed how early in the morning it was.

She set the sweatshirt on the passenger seat and put the phone on top of it, started her car and drove to her usual parking space. Then, ran quickly and noisily up the stairs, her jacket making rubber squirt noises and high heels tapping the pavement.

•

Inside she found someone in voice chat on one of the chat rooms she frequented.

She agreed, it could have been an angel

She looked around the room

Windows are closed

She bobbed a teabag in a steaming cup of water

I don't think it can fly I mean it looked like snakes

She was speaking into her headset, the only light in the room a consistent rainbow strobe from her keyboard.

It was dark, I didn't want to light her up again I mean what if she was still out there

She looked at herself while the person replied and realized she had not removed her boots, just her jacket which was thrown haphazardly on the couch.

Nah, I'm good, champ. If you want to fly out here and have a look you are welcome to crash on my couch.

She blew on the tea to cool it and then took a sip, wincing because it was still to hot.

She laughed, yeah, that could explain all the missing pets, you got it guys

She pulled her long boots off one at a time and set them on the floor, tried to balance them upright but they were too floppy so she returned to her tea, paging through internet search results.

No I'm not seeing anything, how about you guys