Purpose project.
A reason to wake up in the morning.
something to look forward to. a BIG project. a BIG CREATIVE project.
not just a painting, not just a video, not just music.
Something I build, that is documented? Something that tells a story. i need to do it out of my own inertia. I love to work on it. I go to bed thinking about it, then wake up and start working on it.
I dont know what it can be.
I need this project. I have been spending years just being busy. keeping the business running, fixing things, moving, building, changing... but no large project.
The lawsuit with those slimy texas lawyers took the wind out of my sails. they we trying to steal everything. steal my future ideas. not only what i had built, but they wanted what i make in the future. i want them dead. its strange to want someone dead but these lawyers are pure evil. Lie, bully, deceit, trickery. Nasty humans they keep you on your toes.
Anyways, I have not recovered from that. I was pushed so deep and closed myself up for over 2 years. I am no longer innocent. I am a bit lost. I need a project. It has to be all mine.
I don't know what it is. I don't know where to start. So i am starting here. in a blog post wondering how to start where to start and what to do.
Paint, build, resin, film, code, drums, remix, guitar, organize, document, photograph, loop. What can i create that matters.
What does it mean to matter? Do i just care about other people seeing what I do and being impressed? Do i really care about other people? I don't want to right now. I want to make something that gets me going.
Maybe I start with a domain name? The domain name can host all the parts of the project that will make the whole.
I want to care about a project so much that I am excited in the morning for a new day of work.
Maybe I start with a domain name... Welcome Back to Life? I dunno.
My goal is to blog about this again, and then again, and then again. I want to keep moving and thinking and exploring until it appears. When it appears I will be superhuman unstoppable. Watch the fuck out!