Have a baby they say.....

When I was younger and living my best life, my friends were moving on, having babies, getting married, buying houses etc... I moved abroad with my partner and we continued to enjoy the big city social life, eating dinner in a restaurant at 10pm, watching back to back movies at the cinema, getting drunk on $4 cocktails on a Thursday night, it was bliss. My family and friends were constantly forcing the point that I should be having babies and getting married as I approached my 30th. The thought never entertained me as regardless of my age I still felt young with alot more to do and see, then, Covid hit. I must say living in isolation changes a lot of perspective and train of thought, so I found myself actually entertaining that thought, having a baby. Friends would elaborate on how amazing it is being a mum and taking advantage of eating what you want guilt free during pregnancy. They also talked about how magical giving birth was for them and how amazing it would be for me to experience it. Well.... All I can say is what a pile of CRAP!!! The second I announced my pregnancy it was like the world turned on its axis, I found myself in a paradigm shift or a different multiverse... “Omg the back ache, the piles, the nausea, the harmones, the vaginal tears, the sleep deprivation, just wait until they can walk then you will know about it” all came flooding in. I could not believe the attitude shift and felt very betrayed and honestly extremely anxious, like, no matter what now this baby has to come out! It was my first pregnancy and I had no idea what to expect but what I learned quickly was anything google tells you will, can, maybe or on rare occasions are pregnancy symptoms....I had them all!!! Constant vomitting and nausea from 5 weeks right up to 27 weeks, that's right! I didn't get to eat what I want without guilt i ate enough to survive and foods that's hopefully would stay down. Carpel tunnel syndrome in both hands so I had to leave work even earlier than expected as typing was too painful and getting impossible. The back ache made it impossible to sleep so I found myself getting little to no sleep from 28 weeks spending most nights on the sofa. Early morning nose bleeds became the norm along with constipation that left me with severe prolapse and haemorrhoids needing surgical attention. Fast forward to the 40 week mark and my first son is born. Nothing went as expected I found my self in a last minute unplanned induction with painful contractions for over 15 hours, this was followed by an emergency c-section. My son nearing 10lbs was pulled out of my stomach covered in lots of gross stuff but was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. As weeks went by the memories of the pain and discomfort started to fade, I guess that's why women go on to have more babies, because there's no way you would consider it ,,,if the ordeal you went through was still a prominent feeling and memory, mother nature's little trick I guess! But now I know that's why they talked of how amazing it was, as you forget the bad and only remember the joys. That's until your pregnant again and start to think............ Oh shit!!!!!

Why are we silent?

When Richard Branson took to space for a little orbit holiday I thought, wow, look where we are, trips to space, this is wonderful and crazy and exciting and everything inbetween. I then shook and my head and thought again..... WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? seriously! a man with so much money he has time and resources to build a rocket and fly to space for fun, it literally has cost hundreds of millions and so much pollution for a few minutes on a flight. the Rich don't even think twice about a 250k.-55m ticket!!! There are men, women and children starving in third world countries, dying on the streets from hunger. Homes, families and land is being destroyed by freak weather. Animals are becoming extinct, losing homes because of natural disaster and deforestation. Climate change is coming for us all and YET we spend so much time looking at “how the other half lives”. We are becoming dumb, spending hours watching reels or videos of people posing in a dress, getting a facial or buying their 8th car or holiday home. Yes, we are being dummed down by dumb selfish people. Wake up people, get educated!!!! Enough of the Kardashians and bloggers and influencers they are only trying to sell you something and to make you think you need it they destroy your self image and self esteem. Why are we not taking them out of power? why are we allowing these people to take our hard earned money, pollute our minds, pollute our planet, kill our animals, kill our brothers and sisters? Yes they are indirectly killing!! Think hard then do something why are we so silent? This is our planet, our home! Would you let a stranger come into your home were you live, everyday take a piece of furniture or structure until there is nothing left to take, on their way out they leave poison for you and your children and pets to touch, breathe, eat? Keep taking money from your bank in exchange for anxiety and low self worth until you have no money left, and when your finally left with no home, no money, broken and sick, they hand you an apple and a bottle of water and get praised for it while they go off to have a 5 course meal in their mansion which you indirectly paid for. Would you stand for it? Because you are standing for it.