My Mind

Mapping out my mind is not an easy task. Often it's scattered, not unified, holds paradoxes as well as different perspectives and drives.

But there are a few lines along which different states of my mind seem to move.

One of these lines is the overall available energy. If I not only want, but literally have to sleep because I can't keep my eyes open any longer, it's at its lowest.

If I had enough rest and food and get really, really excited about something or even slightly stressed – it could even be a situation in traffic – my mind is at its peak energy, making decisions laser-fast and finding solutions instantly.

Another line to distinguish is the feeling of meaning. It reaches deep down and touches a contrast that lies in the fundamental understanding of the world.

On the one side, life seems to lack any inherent meaning and even the meaning that we humans give it seems irrelevant.

Opposite of this rational view stands the feeling that life does have a meaning, without any argument other than the positivity of its influence.

Influenced by more fleeting and superficial emotions this feeling is either able to shine through or is muted.

If everything feels profoundly meaningless, usually my energy is also low and I don't tend to do much.

If everything has intense meaning, my motivation is also higher and I do more, which leads into a self-perpetuating feedback-loop.