Elias

some of my thoughts and notes

Yesterday I finally bought a new computer mouse. One with an ultrafast scrolling wheel. Arriving in my CAD-Software of choice, Rhino3D, I tested it. I zoomed out, and back in, but hey, where is my model?

I had been using Rhino for six years and this had never happened to me. I had to go to a beginners forum to figure out how to find my model again.

It feels like there's a fine line between impostor syndrome and justified self-doubt and modesty. Often I feel like almost anyone could do my job if only they threw a bit of effort onto it and there's not much talent involved.

But the fact that I tend to overlook is that few people do throw the same amount of effort at the same problems, and because of that I'm probably indeed a valuable expert.

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It's funny how this whole topic of how to grow and sustain financial wealth, limit risks and losses and use chances and opportunities has influenced my thinking.

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Yesterday I used a fresh cutter knife to remove some grates from holes drilled into aluminium. I used quite a bit of force and it worked quite well until the blade was pointing towards my left thumb.

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Coming back home was a pretty weird feeling. The flat was dirty, nobody seemed to be home, stuff lying around in the kitchen, dozens of black flies flying around, a weird smell and an unbearable heat. Whoever spent their time here had neglected this place.

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My 27. Birthday

The week of my 27. birthday was quite a crazy week. Even though I didn't plan a party and was never at the centre of attention I still got pretty exactly what I wanted.

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Work is more than what you do to earn money. It's also directing your daily efforts and the way you bring value into the world. Let's do more of that.

Mapping out my mind is not an easy task. Often it's scattered, not unified, holds paradoxes as well as different perspectives and drives.

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I always thought of astrology as pure superstition and pastime. Then at one point I read about five different types of Taurus, with ascendant Gemini (my own), Leo, Virgo, Libra and Sagittarius. And each description matched with surprising accuracy to me and the four people present.

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Last Saturday I legitimately felt as if I don't want to live anymore. Luckily I was still strong enough to know that the only reasonable way to commit suicide would be to time travel back to the point where my parents met and simply mess up their relationship before my mom's pregnancy and my birth. But that's highly hypothetical.

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