Elias

some of my thoughts and notes

On my way back from France I wrote to an old friend who lives in Freiburg that I could give her a visit on my way back to Germany.

It would be illegal but if she didn't care I would neither.

Back in the time we met in Darmstadt we had a good chemistry and I had actually been in love with her while she just wanted to stay single.

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During my travel, I did some rather not so nice things to my father's car. I drove over some rock and gravel roads where I had to push all the way into the bushes to avoid getting stuck in the middle. I drove close behind trucks on dirty roads. I hit the edge of the pavement with the right front wheel.

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I just realized how malleable my habits actually are. Last Friday I wanted nothing more than to watch another episode of Hunter X Hunter. It was due to my mental state. I was completely in relaxation mode, unable to do anything productive or creative, anything that would cost some concentration, so that was all I wanted.

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To me, happiness, in its calmest sense, is to have what I need, water and food, all duties done, and get a little bit high and watch “Hunter X Hunter” while spinning my own thoughts related and unrelated to the content of the images.

These thoughts, while spinning, are designed to lift up happiness, and are therefore based rather on assumptions than primordial truths.

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It's 01:11 right now and I've just come home after an extended period of socialization that I didn't really want initially.

What I wanted instead was to go home, relax, get a bit high, and do whatever pleases me (research anything that's interesting to me right now, watch an episode of some series, build a model plane).

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I've been diving into the world of e-books for one simple reason: The book “The Symbiotic Planet” by Lynn Margulis costs 80€ as a paperback and 3,99€ as an e-book.

Now here's my experience:

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I am afraid. Most of the time I probably supress my fears, because most of the time, I don't feel them. I have no idea what the future will look like and it's because I don't think about it very much.

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I've watched almost all episodes of Season 4 now and while talking about it the episode where insects of the Galactic Federation try to extract Rick's memory about constructing his portal gun.

Weiterlesen...

This post continues the logbook-like blog-post about my 25th birthday

Tuesday, 26.05.2020 – Retrospective

Again, I'm writing retrospectively. Right now it's Tuesday, 12:52, and I'm sitting on our balcony in shorts and long jeans shirt while my flatmate Sarah is watering our tomato plants.

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13.05.2020

Thursday, 14.05.2020 – Retrospective

My birthday was more of an experiment than a celebration to me. Given the circumstances I had not planned a celebration in advance, quite similar to last year where I didn't tell anything to anyone and just kept doing what I was doing back in these days – tinkering around in the workshop. During this day a lot of people came around and visited me in the workshop. It was a good day, but later I realized that I had somehow missed the party.

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