some of my thoughts and notes
It's fascinating how the mind seeks to balance everything. Over the past four months my income has consistently been a good bit higher than my expenses – taking into account that over the next four months it will be a good bit lower than my expenses this was very reasonable.
I feel like yesterday my old self was trying get back to control. More realistically I had just forgotten that when I'm not feeling well I can just meditate and find peace within instead of allowing old narratives to wind up on my feelings.
I'm back in a good mood. Life is what we make it. And there are Solutions for everything.
Today, the struggle in me is stronger than in the last days. It's hard to stay joyful and thankful when sadness and frustration wash over you. It's in the meaning of things that the battles are fought, but it's so easy to just give in and accept the fundamental truth: that there is no meaning in anything, that it all doesn't matter, that the meaning of this life is nothing but a choice we make.
Getting back to work after a solid two week break is interesting. The feeling of frustration (because a software doesn't work as it's supposed to) seems to come up a lot earlier than it did only two weeks ago.
Yesterday I had a fascinating experience with fear. It was as if my subconscious mind had decided that after expanding my capacity to feel sadness and joy it was time to expand my capacity to feel fear. But how did I get there?
I know that there are different types of health, as well as different types of awareness (waking, dreaming and deep sleep) corresponding to our different bodies (gross, subtle and causal).
I also know that you have the best overview of all of your bodies and their health and that you can very well manage them without my help.
I've often laughed at the fact that dog is the anagram of god.
But recently I've taken it more literally. What if god is (also) a dog?
Energy can take many forms, both in a physical and in a metaphorical sense. While I'm sitting on the train reading “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho I can clearly perceive my own energy.