Frankology

If I were of a particular vocation, the type where people have a standing appointment on Sundays, I'd be extra worried about Google.

Google (irony intended) “the antichrist” and you'll be treated to an array of versions, and opinions, of what boils down to its namesake: the opposite of all good things, bent on the destruction of everything – and man. Especially man.

Dig a little deeper into the message and you'll find something which goes more or less like this: the antichrist will sneak up on the earth, portrayed as something good for all mankind, something which will unite the world under one roof, all the while waiting for the right time to reveal itself and destroy us all.

OK fine, that is probably wildly inaccurate but the crux of it is correct. He will appear to be good, unite us, and end up being bad – very bad.

One can’t help wonder? With the level of infiltration of companies like Google – especially Google – if you were of a particular vocation, and required to hedge your bets…

When death lurks, either imminent or final, we begin to reflect. We consider the person; we consider ourselves; we consider the bigger picture. We are willing to forgive and forget transgressions deep-seated through old grudges, reinforced by bitterness.

The finality of death drives us to the finality of all aspects related to the individual. There is a demand, a desire, a yearning for resolution, completion. We cannot be satisfied by the idea that anything can be left undone, unsaid, open-ended.

We struggle with our feelings, struggle with their sentiments.

We forget the most important thing at a moment we can least afford. Death is a certainty, for all of us. We need in times of death, both imminent and final, to celebrate the life.

Celebrate the life.

The mania that is Black Friday is difficult to comprehend. While the irrational pandemonium in countries such as the United States is well documented, there are places on earth where the vigor is slightly less bizarre. In South Africa for instance, it is only in recent years that the idea has taken root. Until last year even, it was a relatively vague concept for most.

Last year particularly, saw a massive spike in interest, participants and purchasing alike. Many of our own businesses took part for the first time and enjoyed medium to excellent success. This year, however, seems to be subdued somehow. The excitement for the day, in the week leading up, just isn't there. Is this a sign of consumer sentiment? Could it be that like all things leaning toward ridiculousness, it has “come and gone?”

The idea of blowing stock out the door, at any rate, is flawed. This is a lesson we too had to learn. It creates unhappy customers due to bad experiences, damages the market due to pricing exposure, and wastes earning potential on individual customers and their purchases.

All said and done, we will not be taking part this year. Not from any perspective, as buyers or sellers.

Some days it’s tough to produce good quality work. When one is exhausted the quality of work will suffer. It is a pity, the societies we have built do not cater for days where individuals, for whatever reason, are not at their best. Days where everyone is better off if you stayed home.

A trusted employee may enjoy a boss who permits such habits, provided they do not affect overall performance, but as with anything pleasant, there will be those who seek to take advantage and in so doing ruin it for everyone else.

How does the saying go? “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

This is not a rant although I can see how it may come off as one. I must assure you, this is not the intention. It is merely an observation which just happens to make overachievers look… bad.

I should clarify, to be an overachiever you don’t actually have to achieve much of anything. All you have to do is try too hard. If you are trying overly hard at everything, and doing well, good for you. At least the “hard work” is paying off – sort of. On the other hand, if you are continually trying too hard and the “hard work” is not paying off, well then, you’re a dud.

The overachiever is always in the way. This not in the sense of someone else’s career path for instance. Rather, in the way of getting things done. On the note of career path, the overachiever is always the most expensive (they tend to come with qualifications – some useful some not) but get the least done.

While the overachiever is agonizing over trivial details, require outlines, guidelines, charts, and presentations, take notes, take more notes, request meetings and then more meetings, the rest of the world has already done the job.

Overachievers create tasks where there are none. Tell themselves they are working hard when in reality they are working hard at exactly nothing. They are working hard at how they will go about working hard, instead of simply working. They repeat and review to a degree which is counterproductive and yields diminishing returns. They impede flow and progress.

This may or may not be their fault. It is how we teach our children, our teenagers and our young adults. All the way through tertiary education. Once they enter the real-world there is no space for the overachiever, they waste time and money. They get trampled by the doers.

The real-world rewards results, not the process. Sadly, many overachievers never realise this. They are too busy trying to work hard at working hard.

How on earth the world got so full of corporates is a mystery. Their product or service is 100% guaranteed to be shit! This without accounting for after-sale-service.

How did we allow this? How do we continue to allow it? Why do we as consumers continue to support the corporate despite them continually spitting on our patronage?

I am not one to rant about the morality of the corporate companies and the evils of capitalism. If anything, I believe the latter to be the best we've got. At least until someone comes up with something which is both “better” and sustainable. One thing is for sure though, based on pure disdain for bad quality and service, I've just now, adopted a new resolution. No more supporting corporates of any nature, unless there is absolutely no way around it, and that includes price.

“Never mix friendship and business!” Well known, well-traveled and respected as correct. Accept... everyone does it all the time.

Friendship and business go together like teeth and toothpaste, they were destined for each other, maybe even made for each other. Think about it, friendship is a form of tribalism. Without tribalism there cannot be value, for value is an abstract concept agreed upon by more than one. Without value, there can be no business.

When you start out in business, you begin with your friends. You tell them about your venture in the hopes they support you. Assuming they are buying what you are selling, you would like them to buy it from you. Assuming they are good friends they oblige.

Further down the line maybe you are doing well. Or maybe you can do better with just a little cash injection? Who do you turn to first? Your friends. Being granted a loan from a friend will always be easier than being granted a loan from a bank, and after all, they were there for you in the beginning.

Fast forward and next thing you know you’re involved with a friend in business. You've done it now, you've mixed friends and business! Accept... it's not so much the mixing of the two where the problem lies. The problem lies with not being able to isolate the two.

Friendship. Business. These are not the same thing, nor should they be regarded as such. They are not grouped together or hinged on each other. The two do not affect each other in any way. They are vastly different matters and should never share the same space, or even conversation.

Why is it so very important to track my location all the time? How exactly is it going to make my experience with your app or website better? I'll tell you how, it won't. It serves but one single purpose which is to garner ever more information so you can sell it on to advertisers, and probably policymakers further down the line.

To be clear, I'm not referring to free apps either. I understand things need to be funded somehow and for this reason much prefer paid offerings. Paying for an app has threefold benefits: fewer glitches (or better backup), no ads, and no unnecessary information gathering!

At no point will I be convinced (other than the obvious such as navigation) it is in any way a good thing – for me – that creators or curators alike know where I am at all times of the day. In most other circumstances this would be viewed as stalking.

It's probably fair to say every person ever employed, in any service position, in any industry, anywhere in the world, would agree with what follows.

Please, before you submit a request, be it for a quote, information or any other reason, just do a little thinking first! Read a little, much of what you seek is probably available somewhere if not directly from the website you are using to initiate contact.

Consider your request before fumbling across the keypad to the send button. Think about what you are asking and if you have supplied enough – or any – information for the receiving party to work with.

Let me reveal something magical for you right here and now. If you are asking for a price, from the page where the prices are displayed, you are a fucking idiot. If you are contacting one company while in fact looking for another – they just happen to be the first result you clicked on – you are a fucking idiot. If you contact a car company “looking for a car,” you are a fucking idiot.

You are not a customer. Nor does any company want you as a customer. You are a worthless drain on someone’s valuable time. Although, I suspect you already know this because you couldn’t even be bothered to write your own name with a capital letter.

All writers – novice, professional or hobbyist – want to deliver to their audience. We want the reader to engage with the message and hopefully leave enriched in some way. It's been said that a writer’s sole purpose is to keep their reader reading.

Naturally, much of the content and style would depend on the medium and the audience, but is there some sort of middle ground? Do writers simply succumb to the declining level of reading skill and the demand for a seventh grade reading level? Yes, there are several scoring systems, which in essence, encourage the writing of a kind easily consumed by a seventh grader. A seventh grader!

Writers, especially those who cater for the online reader, are prompted to use shorter sentences and even single line paragraphs. “Long sentences and paragraphs confuse the reader.”

We have reached a point where you can now supply a few keywords, and “AI” will write your website copy in a matter of seconds. Of course, this is not AI at all but a “copy-paste” template. The creators must, however, be commended from a commercial perspective if nothing else. The alarming part is the reader of today can't tell the difference!

So, the question is this, what do writers do? Do they continue writing for a downward slide in reader intelligence, thereby achieving two things: one, they keep their reader reading and two, they contribute to the slide. Or do they buck the trend and produce writing of quality and colour, in the belief that like all things ridiculous, the trend cannot last? If it does what comes next, ABC cards?