gokigen

Long time. I don’t write much – hard to lose myself in the writing, lately. Self-repetition is boring, and new input is a tad lacking. Translating stuff is much more immersive – I may not be pleased with the results, but the process of looking up words, comparing their character, feel and context feels endless – and endlessly enjoyable. Nostalgic time of the year – it’s getting cold and pleasant to dress thick and move quick. Reflecting on the past odd jobs and behavior I noticed that having a lot of things to do can be a good thing. Being a free-roaming sysadmin slash derivéing photographer felt like a flow, exploration, nearsighted in a good way. Not sure if these things still attract me, but music and texts with flexible rules do seem worthwhile. Finally having some amount of saved money month-over-month, so I became able to stash, invest and generously donate some of it. Not the life savings, but something. Loving discounters. Second wave is upon Moscow now. New restrictions en route, causing doubt about moving to the hometown – getting stuck in there would be far from optimal. That’s a rational conclusion, but frankly this realization of the danger that does not translate into primal fear or even secondary anxiousness worries me. Probably that is one of psyche’s basic defense mechanisms, yet still feels strange. Another strange thing is half-year – there are so many white spaces between events, with only digital paper trail (countless reports and drafts in archives, mail, recycle bins) and receipts marking different days. I never really had any mcguffin or carrot dangling before me, beckoning forward. Prolonged crisis to me is an occurrence when it’s better to find one – so far my goals still are to survive, finish degree and enroll in Japan in a horizon of a year or two. Aim for the crescent.

Discovered Zettlr – very nice and customizable, many rough corners (as of version 1.7.5). Disabled markdown tables to avoid data loss, now busy reminiscenting and sorting films I've watched over last years. Potentially useful for research in tandem with Zotero.