I should have never given ayahuasca the power I did. To say it was the highest source of truth I ever found. To trust it beyond my gut, beyond what I felt comfortable doing. It's a plant, it's a powerful drug. It's a powerful hallucinogen that can completely change your frame of reality. But ultimately it was my decision to take it, to roll the dice on my frame. I could have stuck to my previous frame and aim it toward something good. It was unnecessary to throw myself into this terrifying singularity frame. This totality, this loneliness, this inescapable empty feeling. I have no proof that it's real. It seemed to be my only existence briefly, but then it passed. And now I'm “sober”, again. Yes I should be willing to change. Yes I should be open minded. But I shouldn't believe aya is some master source from which all my problems will be fixed. They won't be. Ayahuasca is for moments when you are sick. When you need the medicine. When you are depressed, incredibly fearful, angry, obsessed. Not when you have a mild sense of aimlessness and boredom.