HelenSometimesHolly

Please. Everyone. Please stop trying to adopt Daisy. Yes, I know she’s pretty. In fact, she’s beautiful; inside and out. But she’s so much more than just a pretty face, and You Can’t Handle Her.

Got a fenced yard? Daisy don’t care; she’s not staying in it. Daisy is a long distance sprinter, so your yard isn’t going to satisfy her exercise needs. If you’re counting on your yard, you can’t handle Daisy.

Is your job flexible? Good! Because if you oversleep, Daisy don’t care. She needs a long, long walk. A run would be better. Hungover? Daisy don’t care. Get up and take her on a long, long walk. If you can’t be late, or walk (run is better) when you feel puny, you can’t handle Daisy.

Got lots of money? Good! Daisy actually does care about that. She loves doggie daycare.

Got a dog already? Good! Daisy needs companionship and a playmate. Is your dog confident enough to tell Daisy when he doesn’t want to play? No? Your dog can’t handle Daisy. Do you have the leadership skills to tell her for your dog? No? You can’t handle Daisy.

Got cats? Good! Daisy loves cats. They’re so fun to talk to and run amok with. Are your cats super-chill? Daisy don’t care. Unless your cat loves being chased and joyfully yelled at, your cat can’t handle Daisy.

You know the tiredness in your bones after a grueling day at the office? Daisy don’t care! She’s ready for another walk. A run would be better.

Don’t like dogs on the furniture? Daisy don’t care. Neither do I. Don’t like dogs in your bed? Daisy don’t care. She’s a full-body snuggler and we think you’re weird. You can’t handle Daisy!

Are you an active and engaged human looking for an active and engaged dog? A dog that can be included in all your daily activities? Do you have a solid plan for when she can’t be? Are you not threatened by girls who are smarter than you? Will you take Daisy to a trainer and learn her love language? Are you a confident leader for Daisy and the other pets in your home?

If you answered yes to this last set of questions, I’m giving you the side-eye and wondering if you might just be able to handle Daisy.

Daisy currently resides at a boarding facility in Cleveland, Missouri. Request to meet her at www.lucky13rescue.com.

After her social media debut on Thursday morning, just four short days ago, I’m pleased to report that Nancy has an application. Lucky 13 Rescue is in the process of checking references and doing a home check. If all goes well Nancy will soon rest well in her forever home.

So many people have asked about Nancy, shared her, and want to adopt her that I thought a little explanation as to how Nancy came to me might be helpful. Especially since I obviously love her and actually want her for myself. Seems counterintuitive to tell everyone to adopt the dog you want, right?

I am actually Nancy’s vacation foster. Which means there was a foster before me who wanted to take a vacation. But she had this broken dog. Loretta, the first foster, got Nancy from a boarding facility that received Nancy, along with several others, from a breeder release. This means that a breeder has used up the dog and is benevolently giving it to a cash-strapped rescue to rehabilitate and find a home for. * insert eyeroll *

The boarding facility held onto Nancy until Loretta came looking for a small dog to foster and potentially adopt. Loretta is a sucker and when she saw Nancy, just had to take her home. We’re not laughing at you, Loretta! We’re laughing with you. Seriously. My dog Max ruined my life for eight solid weeks before I gave in and just adopted him. Best poor decision I ever made.

Loretta did the hard work. When she brought Nancy home Nancy was unresponsive and would just lay there with her eyes closed. Loretta pampered and loved her and Nancy slowly started to come out of her shell; just a teensy bit. When Loretta dropped Nancy off at my house, she had to full-body wrestle Nancy up the three stairs into my apartment. Loretta is tiny and I will forever regret not recording that.

At this point, Nancy wasn’t listed on the website, as she was too shut down to consider adopting out. But she did so well learning from Max, observing my cats, and being with the neighbor dogs coming to liven things up . . . Nancy is a total love. And I knew she would be ready for the right family.

There’s only one Nancy to go around. She’s getting adopted, and it’s probably not by you. But listen. There are enough Nancy’s to go around. You can find your Nancy the same way I found Nancy. And Max. And Herschel Holstein and Molly and Jake and Serenity and Arnold and Daisy and Schmidt and those puppies that almost killed me.

Become a Foster.

If you can’t commit to a long-term foster be a vacation foster! Fostering is so rewarding . . . until you need to travel for work or to save your marriage (no, not because you’ve got too many dogs) or for a reunion or a funeral. You’ll be helping saving two lives; a dog and another human. Vacation fostering offers a short-term commitment way to help.

Walk shelter dogs.

OK, so maybe you have legit reasons for not fostering. I get it. * insert thought bubble that says whatever * You can still help by volunteering to walk dogs at the closest shelter to you. Or, help transport dogs from foster homes to adoption events. This is where we take foster dogs to meet random strangers in the hopes of making a love connection. Not because we’re desperate! OK, fine. We’re desperate and need a little help.

Volunteer

Work. It gets in the way of everything, right? If you can’t volunteer your time outside your home, volunteer from home. Manage databases and the website, handle social media, write content, perform home checks, or process applications.

Procure Supplies

Leashes, peanut butter, ropes, toys. Beds! Host a toy drive at work, church, or book club. Look for bargains, and pounce!

Donate

You know what I hate more than giving money? Asking for money. Lots of people have thanked me for helping Nancy. Called me an angel and good human and such. But I couldn’t foster without the rescue. And the rescue couldn’t rescue without volunteers. And funds. When making up your budget (yes, please budget so you don’t end up needing to surrender your own furry) please consider your favorite pet rescue amongst your giving.

Represent

Buy a cool t-shirt! Who doesn’t need more t-shirts?

If you’re still with me, I hope you find your Nancy and that you’re wearing a Lucky 13 shirt when you do.

~ Peace All

PS We’ll know more after our morning walk, but I think Nancy ate half a sponge today.

Adopt Nancy September 2021

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Who wants a broken Golden Retriever scraped from the bottom of the discount bargain bin? While Nancy is currently fractured in a million places, she will soon be like a Kintsugi pot, more beautiful for her history. And her adopters will be rewarded ten times over.

A breeder surrender, Nancy has lived her entire eight years in a kennel, birthing as many litters as her owner could force on her. Today, she has learned that outside isn't such a bad place, with lots of things to look at and smell. If you enjoy stopping often to smell the roses, you'll love walking with Nancy.

Nancy is housetrained and has no desire to soil her home ever again. She has discovered the joy of chewing bones and bully sticks. While doesn't carry things around as goldens typically do (remember, she's broken), she does move things around, often times hoarding them in an unused dog bed. Kinda like a racoon. Last night she dug my bra out of the laundry basket and slept with it.

She falls back on the familiar. For example, with great effort, she's learned to use the three steps to the patio. She finds the front door very suspicious and refuses to consider coming or going through it. But she knows the back, so we just always use the one she knows.

Getting in and out of a car would be traumatic for everyone. Maybe someday soon Nancy will learn the joy of hanging her head out the window and letting the wind blow through her hair and catch in her jowls. Meet and greets will need to be in her foster home and transport to a new home will need to be very thoughtful and intentional.

For today, we're not making Nancy do anything she doesn't want to and she's getting a little more comfortable every day. She'll do best in a home with no stairs, another do to show her the way, and with people who enjoy leisurely strolls through their own neighborhood.

Nancy currently resides in a foster home in Overland Park, KS with @lucky13rescue.

Deep, Dark, Hole

Sometimes I feel like crawling into a deep, dark hole and dying.

Problem is just because you’re in a hole doesn’t mean you get to die.

In the hole it’s cold, dark, cramped and lonely.

So you claw your way out, dust yourself off, and go to work.

Things I Didn’t Understand

Traded for an antique free-standing, full-length mirror,

she lives in a kennel, her cage, lined up

with an unfinished section of privacy fence so she can see her family

through the sliding glass door

while swarms of flies worry her. She stands in piles of her own excrement.

Barks to drown the sound of her own loneliness.

At the next house she attracts suitors. Her chain denies her escape.

When she and the neighbor stud are stuck together I judge her,

like my good Catholic upbringing Dictates.

I never dwell on the fates of those eleven puppies nor my own culpability.

Habit

When asked where her son is, my Grandmother will say to jail if he doesn't knock it off, as if he couldn't possibly be doing anything boring or uneventful – as if his sole existence requires she be put out, decades after the last infraction.

3 Weeks Sober

I'm three weeks sober today.

I thought I would have been miraculously transformed into a better friend a better employee a better colleague a better daughter a better sister a better mother a better neighbor a better human.

But I'm still just me.

Only with a little more clarity regarding my shortcomings.

All I want

is for someone who loves me to kiss my forehead while I sleep

so my subconscious might believe that everything will be OK.

My Body is an Apple Blossom

I entered the world, much like a tiny apple blossom. Some days I attracted bees that helped me grow; other days I weathered storms and blazing sun.

I eventually grew into a bright, shiny apple. I attracted attention, and even got picked as tasty.

Today, I am slowly shriveling, although it remains to be seen whether I'll be dehydrated for a snack, made into fruit leather, or simply fall to the ground, becoming food for worms. And start the cycle all over again.

Here’s a poem I wrote a couple of years ago when I was pretty darn frustrated with my work. It’s interesting to reflect on now. Remember . . . I’m not actually a poet.

Work Rage

Tears of salt and trust Splat On my IT issued keyboard To later be Alcohol wiped And disposed of.