JARRETT WANTS TO WRITE SOMETHING

Polyester Not natural, doesn’t breathe, clings too much to my stomach when there’s static.

Cotton Natural, breathes, either shrinks perfectly or to half its original size after washing.

Silk Can’t afford, felt great against my skin the one time I touched some.

Rayon Wrinkle free, sounds like it’s from the future, perfect summer material according to r/malefashionadvice.

Linen Durable, moisture wicking, big hit in ancient Egypt, would look great on me if I joined a New Age cult.

Denim Best for skinny jeans.

Metallic Can make things look elegant but can also make things look tacky, not a substitute for chain mail.

Wooly nylon Stretchy, great for knit fabrics, doesn't come from synthetic sheep.

Nylon Lightweight, melts when I accidentally burn it with my lighter, the ’nylon’ in wooly nylon.

Invisible Clear sewing thread and not a hypothetical thread that connects all of humanity, great for magic tricks.

Eventually.

Eventually.

The liquor store parking lot so you can get drunk off spilled beer by the garbage bin.

A retention pond with toxic algae blooms so your children die prematurely.

Next to the highway where your husband's body is being run over by 18 wheelers.

Anywhere I'm trying to walk.

The time is 11:06 p.m. Wait, it's 11:07 p.m. Soon it'll be 11:08 p.m. Yup. It's 11:08 p.m. Now it's 11:09 p.m. Great! It's 11:10 p.m. Oh, cool. 11:11 p.m. Should make a wish. It's 11:12 p.m. Still awake. Wish didn't work. [11:13 p.m. not found] OK, it's 11:14 p.m. I got distracted so I missed 11:13. The time is now 2:43 a.m.

  1. ZE:A
  2. P2015
  3. NCT 127
  4. TO1
  5. 6L Gold
  6. 5Si
  7. Exo
  8. Exo-K
  9. Exo-SC
  10. 4 Plus
  11. B1A4
  12. 2NE1
  13. III

K-pop Group: 1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12 Discontinued Printer: 2, 5, 6, 10, 13

don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people don't post things that annoy people or just post things that annoy people.

  1. I should have written something funny for my first post.
  2. Maybe someone will find this funny.
  3. No one will find this funny.
  4. No one will see this.
  5. I ate too many quesadillas for dinner.