I feel like I am broken. I haven’t felt excited about anything that I am working on. The things that would normally bring me joy were bringing me nothing.
Early, this year there was a lot of excitement and my lot of energy. I was doing a lot of my goals and getting a lot of things done. I labeled them as experiments as I way to make me feel ok about thing sucking.
But, suddenly I stopped. I stopped doing the things that brought me joy. I stopped making time for the activities that felt like I was moving things in the right direction. I stopped making time for the things that gave me hope.
It didn’t happen overnight. But slowly, the mindset started to shift to “I will do that tomorrow.” But, tomorrow might not always come. My biggest fear is regret.
“How could I better say no to the noise to better say yes to the adventures I craved?”
This year, I tried a whole mess of stuff. I am really proud of all of the different things that I tried to do and the different things that I looked at it. I did a lot of things that are out of my comfort zone. That did a few things for me. It helped me figure out where are the places that I want to go and what do I want to spend sometime doing.
But, even with all of the testing and experimenting. I still find myself in this same spot and in this same area.
I am craving something. I can feel it every day and every morning that fire that burns inside of me. I can feel it when I go to bed at night just disappointed in the achievements of the day.
Am I just not honest with myself and my abilities to be the person that I want to be? Is the noise just to much and I just can’t see the adventure in front of me?
I bought my first Cryptocurrency on 11/2/2013. Like, I am sure a lot of people who were playing around back then. If they kept what they had it would be worth thousands if not millions. I didn’t have that much but I sure do wish I kept it in my wallet.
For, the people who are in the Bitcoin space. Have you ever tried to explain the currency or even the technology to someone? Did you get frustrated and give up? Did you show them your wallet and try to explain it to them in the simplest terms possible?
Just last week, I was trying to explain it the best way that I know how and I had people looking at me like I was talking a scam. And of course I got the naturally. “What weird shit are you buying online?”
Coming up there is going to be an interesting invent.
Episode 9 of the Big Bang Theory season 11, which will air on November 30, 2017, is entitled “The Bitcoin Entanglement,” and this will introduce bitcoin to a whole different group of people.
Now, you might be thinking that broadcast TV still doesn’t have the same power that it did say 10–15 years ago. But the show is going to be viewed by around 12 million people.
Bitcoin and other currencies have seen a steadily increase this month. But, it will be fascinating to see how many people start talking and asking.
I wanted today to special. I want every day to be special for you. Every morning, I wake up and I get to see the most beautiful person in the world. I get to see my best friend and the person I love most in the world every day.
Whenever we are apart I think about her. Whenever we are together I feel complete. I am the better person for having met her and a better person for having her in my life and have her inside my mind.
It can be scary to let someone come into your world and have access to the library of your life. They can access all the files and all the books. But, I know you are my soulmate and this was supposed to happen.
But, every day I am grateful for you. I love you. Happy Birthday!
On this day, each year I just mark the calendar with a single letter. The meaning behind it is still painful to remember. I remember that day so well and so vividly over the years. I don’t remember much about my time in high school or college anymore. But, I can close my eyes and remember that day second by second.
I can’t help myself and I think back to that day and that moment when we found out what happened. As, I get older the memories are starting to fade and I want to keep something with me. I have nothing else except for these moments.
What it really is this that I don’t want to ever forget. I don’t ever want to let them down. I just hope they would still be friends with future me.
I didn’t sleep well. I woke up and ignored my morning routine and I just went right into my day. Skipping the morning routine is always a recipe for disaster usually. The day came and went and everything seemed particular harder. I wasn’t sharp, I always felt like I was a step behind.
After, a long day I like to take a few minutes and get some headphones on. What I am listening to doesn’t matter but it gives my mind permission to not think about the world around me.
I had a question on my mind that I just really wanted to talk to someone about. One of those situations where a mentor or advisor would come in handy. It was eating at me a little bit because I just didn’t trust my gut really. That is something that I fight with daily.
I ended up listening to a number of podcasts which lately, seems to be about 85% of my listening habits. The discussions were honest and just made me feel better with all of the confusion. Then someone said, “we are just fucked up like you.”
I am scared of something and there is something that holds me back sometimes. But, there are a few things that I hold dear and that bring me joy and I am going to double down on those until I can’t anymore.
Have you ever wanted to do something but just let it sit on the fence? Have you always told yourself I just need to level up more, I just need to achieve a little bit more before I can attempt that? I just need to do more before I…
I am sure that I am not the only one who thinks like this all of the time. I am embarrassed about what I want to do and some of my creative projects that I want to try. The imposter syndrome just starts to creep in. With questions like “Why are you writing you are not good enough?”
I feel like I have created a lot and I have done a number of projects but I am still back here and fighting this war with myself. There is never going to be the right time to start and make that thing that you want to do. There is never always going to be tomorrow and then the next day.
Will I be here again in 6 months? A Year? 6 Years? Yes, the battle for making good work and work that I am proud of will be a fight that I am willing to take on. I feel like I have things to add and value to add to the world.
Today, I was going through my day and I just felt like I was being stifled. I felt like I was being put in the box and I had to do something to change this. I took a “maker break” that is what I like to call my lunch breaks where I do a creative project.
I set a timer for 15 minutes and I did the first thing that came to my mind. As soon as the timer went off. I smiled and I remember that this is what I keep fighting for.
This week, my Square Cash app gave me the option to sign up for what they call the cash card. For those of you who have not used the cash out function before, it is basically a super simple way to send money to people. Recently, they introduced what they called a virtual debit card, and now they are going plastic.
Most people don’t want or credit cards — more bills, more things track, more things to monitor. One thing that I like about these prepaid debit cards is that they help a lot with budgeting. A few years ago, Google Wallet released its debit card. I used that card a lot. I allowed myself to use whatever was on it as money that I could do whatever I wanted with. It felt nice because Google allows you to auto deposit money each week or each month. When I got a paycheck, I would just deposit whatever I felt comfortable with that week. Google got rid of that product, however, and I haven’t been able to find a really great replacement.
The Square Cash card is free, so there’s no reason not to try one. If you don’t use the cash app, it’s really good way to get paid back others for stuff.
Masters of Scale first episode features Airbnb’s Brian Chesky. This episode felt like an amazing insight on how to build a product that people love and the thinking the methods that helped him grow the company in the early days. Brian talking about crafting what he calls an “11-star experience was one of those audio moments I wish I could snippet and achieve that for my next product launch.