keullaesig

Haechan is like the sun. Warm, and bright and inviting.

“We should stop for now.”, Haechan suggested, as he shut down his computer. It has been 8 games, and they're on a losing streak.

And Mark can't say no. Mark can never say no.

Mark is laying on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, arms relaxed over the backrest. Haechan stands still against the windowsill before him; their silhouette a sharp contrast to the orange-painted skies glimmering outside.

“Whatever.”, Mark mutters. “What do you wanna do?”

He turned his back to look at Haechan; His chin held between his thumb and index finger. A sign that they are already deep in thought. A familiar expression that Mark has learnt to love over the years, too.

“Maybe put some music on?”, He say. And their one good eye lights up at the idea.

Mark huffs, but gets up and makes his way to the little turntable in the corner, the one that Haechan bought a couple years ago when they were on a tour. He has to admit it's kind of fascinating, the fact that you can record any sound in the world and then play it back on. Like an echo of the soul.

“Is this okay?', he asks. He's struggling to figure out what knobs to turn and what buttons to push, but tries his best not to let it show. Haechan hums in response once the disc is already spinning along.

Frank sinatra's fly me to the moon is playing on the turntable

“It's lovely.”, Haechan nods. Music now fills in the silence, vibrates and soars through the air. Haechan is able to recognize the striking tuning of the piano, the soft strum of the guitar in the back, even. It's magic to the ears; electricity that shakes them up in ways that feel new and entracing. Mark watches, back from his old spot in the corner of the couch. Haechan's singing, too invested in the melody that suddenly escapes them, and he can't help but notice how tender Haechan's voice sounds. It's a beautiful sight to witness, he thinks: a spectacle for one, like poetry in motion.

Haechan twirls and turn and twist around on his heel; hips swinging, arms lifted over his head. His cheeks glow in a faint pink, while his breath falters. It's a liberating sensation, to dance loose like that, to let themselves flow free, like a streaming river that breaks wild into the ocean.

Mark can't remember when was the last time he has seen him this happy.

“Hyuck”, Mark calls silently.

And for a moment, it's just like the old days. When the rage of the world still hadn't gone down on them. When there was still a flicker of hope burning fierce, tucked inside their wide curious gazes.

Haechan shake his hips again. And Mark wants to touch them.

Oh, how he wants to touch them.

Haechan’s shirt is vaguely unbuttoned, exposing the tanned skin hidden underneath every time he moves. Mark thinks that, maybe, if he was courageous enough, he would walk over to them and put his hands on their waist. Just to see how it feels like, if only for once. Outside, the skies bleed fractionated into a million different colors, seeping wide through the opened windows. Haechan dances and dances, grazed by the last scraps of daylight, and Mark is completely unable to look away, deeply lost to their rhythm. He knows now, as the song reaches its climax, that Haechan most likely is the sun. And that he, irrevocably, undoubtedly, undeniably, has been blinded by their light.

“Mark!”, he hears him say, and he blinks, being brought back into reality. Haechan’s hair is a brown mess splashing onto their face, wild and untamable. Their slender figure glides with agility, almost hypnotizing. “What are you looking at?”

It takes him a minute to realize he's smiling; a small tug to his lips that would have probably gone unnoticed if it wasn't that Haechan's his only witness. “I'm not...”, he blabbers, defensive. “I'm not looking at anything.” A lie. But he knows better than admitting to it. And Haechan knows when not to tease him about it, either. He can read right through Mark's expression anyway.

“Wanna dance with me?” Haechan offer, extending his hand to Mark’s.

The next song's already playing and Mark can't say no. Mark can never say no.

Because Haechan is just like the sun, Mark repeats as he walks over to him. Electrifying, illuminating, nurturing. And, when nightfall tints the sky dark, he can be sure: he's holding the brightest of stars, right there between his arms.

It's not living if it's not with you.

“Lo liat deh bintang yang itu.” ucap Hyuck sembari menunjuk sebuah konstelasi yang berlokasi sekian juta tahun cahaya dari posisi nya kini.

Mark tersenyum, dan malah mengalihkan pandangan kepada pria disampingnya. “I'd rather look at you.”

Hyuck memutar bola matanya. “Dude, just look.” balasnya tak acuh, “—That’s Alpha Geminorum. And that, just underneath it – Beta Geminorum. Castor and Pollux.”

Mark memicingkan matanya sambil mencari bintang mana yang dimaksud Hyuck. “Yang mana?”

Hyuck meletakkan kedua tangannya diantara kepala Mark dan memaksa pria tersebut melihat ke arah yang dimaksud. “Itu.”

“Oooh… Itu.” Angguk Mark dengan nada tidak terkesan. “They’re just like any other stars I've seen before.” lanjutnya datar.

“It’s the gemini constellation.”

Mark is suddenly aware of the fact as to why Hyuck was so insistent on showing him the stars earlier. “Ah… So that’s YOUR constellation”

“Kind of.” Hyuck memposisikan dirinya untuk kembali berbaring sambil menatap ke arah langit malam. “Lo tau cerita castor and pollux yang asli ga?” tanya Hyuck tiba tiba.

“No. And why should I know?”

Hyuck memutar kedua bola matanya selagi mendengus. “Tsk-”

“You’re cute when you sulk.” Mark tersenyum dan kembali menempatkan diri berbaring di samping Hyuck.

Hyuck bergeser sedikit dan mengistirahatkan kepalanya pada dada Mark meski pandangannya masih mengarah pada langit malam.

“You know- The story of Castor and Pollux fascinates me.”

“Kok bisa? Gimana emang?”

“Well- According to the ancient Greeks, they were twins born from the same mother, but different fathers. One was mortal, the other a demigod, but they were inseparable. They loved each other more than anything else in the world” tutur Hyuck

“Incest gitu?”

Sebuah pukulan mendarat pada paha Mark.

“OW! What was that for?”

“Gua belum selesai cerita. Lo diem. Jangan interupsi.”

Mark tertawa kecil, “Oke oke lanjut.” He said as his fingertips found its way to brush against Hyuck’s hair.

“When Castor died,” Hyuck continues, “Pollux was distraught. He begged Zeus, his father, to bring him back, so Zeus asked him to choose between staying immortal and sacrificing half his immortality to save Pollux.”

“Kok setengah doang? How can you give someone half your immortality? Dikira diskon apa.”

Pukulan lain mendarat pada paha Mark.

“Bawel lu ah, males gua.” Hyuck kembali ke posisi duduk selagi melipat kedua tangan di depan dadanya.

Mark tertawa lepas, “Iya iya jangan ngambek- gimana, gimana? Lanjutin.”

“Yaudah kelar. At the end of the day. They’re both dead.”

“Loh? Kok gitu?”

“Pollux chose to sacrifice his own immortality. Ujungnya, Zeus turned them both into stars and cast them up into the sky, so that they could be together.”

“Well that’s kind of endearing.”

“It is.”

Mark dan hyuck terdiam selama beberapa saat sebelum Mark memecah keheningan-

“Hey Hyuck?” panggil Mark

“Mhm?”

“Would you do it?”

“Apa?” Tanya Hyuck dengan raut kebingungan

“Sacrifice your immortality for me,”

“........”

“.........”

“Mau lah.”

Mark terdiam sebentar, tidak menyangka akan mendapatkan jawaban tersebut. “Why?” tanyanya.

“Because what's the point of living in eternity alone.”

Castor and Pollux

For there was No pain greater

Than being apart.

fin.

09.30 A.M

Marriage.

The fact that society embedded the idea that marriage is mandatory never sat right with me.

Many couples want to marry, yet they fail to remember that remaining married is difficult work.

“Easy” was never part of the word to describe marriage.

“Easy” juga bukan kata yang tepat untuk mendeskripsikan situasi yang sedang terjadi saat ini,

Dengan sekian kamera yang mengawasi gerak gerik keduanya, mau makan aja rasanya 11 12 dengan shooting iklan.

“Eh ini kita makan aja?” tanya Mark,

Hyuck yang hendak menyuapkan sesendok bubur, membatalkan niatnya dan menurunkan kembali sendoknya, “Engga. Kamu pelototin aja.”

“Serius?”

“Makan lah, aku udah beliin juga.” balas Hyuck ketus.

“I mean...Kita engga harus ngapa ngapain gitu? Kayak suap suapan?” tanya Mark dengan polosnya, cukup untuk membuat Hyuck kembali menurunkan sendoknya dan menatap heran pria di sampingnya.

“Lo kata pemerintah suap suapan?”

“I mean.. Aren’t we supposed to be doing something for the camera or whatnot? Biar ada clip.” tutur Mark dengan wajah datar, dan suara setengah berbisik, takut takut audio director dapat menangkap pembicaraan ini.

“Pfffffttttt”

Mengesampingkan fakta ia bercanda atau tidak, tapi ucapannya barusan cukup untuk melepaskan sebuah tawa kecil dari mulut Hyuck,

mkhc

Mark tersenyum, entah sudah berapa lama sejak terakhir ia membuat pria itu tertawa.

You know what they say kan,

You can’t really stay mad for people who make you laugh.

Ya ini sekarang, Mark dapat membuat Hyuck tertawa… artinya,

If we really put things into perspective,

He can’t really stay mad at him

Yang berarti dapat diambil konklusi,

Probabilitas balikan masih ada?

Ya, berharap nggak ada salahnya.

“Mark, the name of the show is We Got Divorced. Not We Got Back Together. Ngerti?” ucap Hyuck enteng, masih tertawa kecil.

BOOM.

Ouch.

Oke gajadi.

Nevermind.

Sakitnya ada. Malunya juga ada.

Sehingga Mark memilih untuk tidak berkomentar lebih jauh dan membiarkan baik dirinya dan Hyuck menyantap sarapan dengan diam.

His mind wandered off thinking god knows what, ketika Hyuck telah menyelesaikan makanannya dan bertanya “Are you done? Sini aku taruh ke dishwasher.” ucapnya selagi bangkit dari kursi.

Nahkan.

Things like this really remind him of the good old days, tapi nggak.

Gaboleh.

Bukan saatnya.

“Mark?” tanya Hyuck lagi

Mark tersadar dari lamunannya dan ikut bangkit dari kursi dan mengambil alih mangkuk yang berada di tangan Hyuck.

“Aku aja.”

Hyuck belum sempat mengucapkan apa apa ketika Mark berjalan ke arah dishwasher dan mulai membersihkan sisa sisa makanan yang terdapat pada alat makan.

Well, if there’s one thing Hyuck remembers about their past marriage life is that Mark hates doing the dishes.

Oh wait, maksudnya HATED.

Past tense.

Because apparently, nowadays he doesn’t seem to mind.

Which got him wondering,

What has gotten into Mark?

Hyuck menyusul menuju dapur tempat Mark berada, punggungnya disandarkan ke salah satu bagian countertop yang berjarak 1 meter dari dishwasher.

sds

“Pencitraan ini ceritanya?” tanya Hyuck dengan nada meledek selagi melipat kedua tangannya.

Mark tertawa kecil.

“Kenapa? Is the sight of an Alpha washing his dishes jadi hiburan buat kamu?”

“No, tapi jadi hiburan buat yang nonton kali. Lumayan naikin rating.”

Mark memutar bola matanya, dan tidak membalas ucapan Hyuck, because he knew damn well if he answered that, they might have caused another debate, and he is not up for that.

Not now.

Not when things are starting to look good between him and Hyuck.

Jadi sekarang, lebih baik diam dan cuci piring.

“Mark.” panggil Hyuck

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

“Buat apa? Cuci piring? Santai aja kali. I learned to do a lot of things on my own when I live alone.”

“Don’t you have housemaids or something?”

“Ngapain? Aku juga jarang dirumah.”

“Work?”

Mark mendengus pahit selagi menaruh mangkuk yang sudah bersih di rak pengering dan memutar kran wastafel untuk menghentikan aliran air.

“Yep.” jawabnya singkat selagi mengeringkan tangan kemudian menempatkan diri di samping Hyuck.

“As expected.”

“Ketebak ya?”

“Banget.”

And then awkward silence.

Neither of them are saying a word for what it feels like eternity, until both of them decided to break the silence at the same time.

“Eh-”

“Ja-”

.

.

“Duluan” ujar Hyuck yang dijawab dengan gelengan kepala Mark, “Engga. Kamu dulu.”

“Oh okay um.. I wasn't going to thank you for washing the dishes sebenernya.”

“Terus?”

“I was going to thank you for last night. For taking care of me.” ucap Hyuck sambil memainkan kain lengan bajunya, dalam hati tidak memiliki mental untuk menatap langsung Mark.

Biasalah, Gemini.

Kegedean gengsi.

The GE in gemini stands for Gengsi kayaknya.

Mark tersenyum,

‘Demi bumi langit dan segala isinya, kalo yang itu lo nggak perlu minta juga bakal gue lakuin, cuma masalahnya elo nya mau apa engga.’

But of course he didn’t say that, he was only thinking of it.

Maklumi aja.

Masih sisa sisa mental meong.

“You were shivering last night. Kalo aku diemin, apa nggak brengsek?”

“Bukannya udah brengsek?”

Damn.

Strike two.

“Ouch you hurt my feelings.” ucap Mark, dengan kedua tangan ditaruh di dadanya sambil memasang wajah pura pura kesakitan.

Padahal sakit beneran tuh.

Haha.

Hyuck memukul pelan lengan Mark selagi tertawa geli melihat ekspresi Mark,

“Dih dih dih. As if you have any feelings, Lee.”

DING DING.

STRIKE THREE.

Looking at how witty Hyuck’s arguments are, aku cukup yakin mungkin itu yang membuat Mark jatuh cinta padanya di awal.

He’s so unpredictable on so many levels.

Hyuck is unlike other Omega.

Hyuck is Hyuck.

Yes, he’s pretty and yes, he’s attractive.

Tapi semuanya akan kehilangan arti di mata Mark bila disandingkan dengan tingkat intelektualitas Hyuck.

His Brain.

Dear God.

His sexy brain.

Tapi semuanya juga akan kehilangan arti, because frankly speaking Mark, didn’t you waste it?

I bet you did.

Mark menghela nafas dan menengok ke arah Hyuck, mengelus pucuk kepala omega di hadapannya, “Gimna? Udah puas ngatainnya?”

“Belum. Tapi nanti dilanjut lagi deh.”

Mark merangkul Hyuck dan menyeretnya keluar dari dapur “Gausah lah gausah, mending sekarang sana istirahat. Dah sana kan udah kenyang”

Hyuck yang kebingungan setengah mampus memberontak dan melepaskan diri dari rangkulan Mark  “Eh loh loh?!?!? Kok ngatur?”

“What? I just want you to rest is that wrong?”

Hyuck mengernyitkan dahinya bingung, “But why?”

“Because i care about you?”

Fuck.

Did Mark just say that out loud?

“Since when?”

“Since forever.”

Ah....these two. The fact that they're incapable on deciding whether they're still in love with each other or not is kind of funny to me.

I guess that’s the thing about love,

is that people creating idea of the true form of love is “I love you because I want you to be happy”, but what we have all understood and expected love to be is “I love you because I wanna be happy”.

The saddest thing about this is that neither IS ENOUGH.

Neither is correct.

Clearly, Hyuck agrees with me because,

Sometimes,

Caring for the other person or wanting them happy won't be enough

It won’t be enough- To save a relationship, To make a person realise that you can make it work no matter what, To make the other person happy. To protect them from suffering.

No matter how strong, it still won't guarantee you anything.

But i guess for now, we don’t need guarantees, i mean life comes with no guarantees anyway.

Yang kita butuhkan untuk sekarang-

Wait, sorry let me rephrase that-

Yang Hyuck dan Mark butuhkan sekarang, is to remember how they fell in and out of love in the first place, because these two are definitely sending mixed messages.

Baik ke satu sama lain.

Maupun kepada oknum di belakang layar sedang harap harap cemas mengharapkan kedua duda ini kembali jatuh cinta.

Because allow me to tell you a thing or two about love.

Love is never kind; it is often a source of uncertainty, pain, and abandonment. It's every nightmare you've ever had in your head. And, yes, it has the power to fucked you up in ways you never imagined, but love will remind you of what it means to be human.

shouldn't couldn't wouldn't.

Song recs: https://open.spotify.com/track/24KUvSg9QsX6FWsOmN0ZxP?si=da13c70efe074e8a

‘Morning sleepyhead.'

Ini adalah kalimat pertama yang gue baca begitu terbangun pukul 11 siang, on a Sunday.

Gue melihat nama pengirim pesan tersebut dan terpampang nama Marvel.

marv

Tanpa basa basi, gue membalas pesan Marvel dengan pertanyaan yang wajib ditanyakan after a night out.

‘Gue ngapain semalem?’

People talk about books being an escape, but for me an escape comes in the form of a 21 year old man named Marvel, dan sebotol- eh.. gak tau berapa botol. Intinya, sepersekian botol tequila Don Julio.

What can i say?

Drinking your feelings out is a very much needed remedy for me.

‘Gak ngapa ngapain.’

‘Masa?’

‘Yeah it was nothing. Gak percaya lo sama gue?’

'Ngapain percaya sama lo.'

Before you judge me on this, despite the fact that I've been friends with Marvel my whole life, you really shouldn’t trust the man.

Gue inget ketika si tolol satu ini tiba tiba muncul di depan rumah cuma buat ngajak ciuman.

Tolol nya lagi, gue iyain.

Emang bener kalau kata orang,

You attract those who're similar to you in a sense.

Alias gue sama dia, sama tolol nya.

‘Pretty sure all you did was to ask me to murder your Professor for giving you a C on your paper.’

‘Did you though?’

‘I did murder something, tapi bukan professor lo.’

‘Terus apa yang dibunuh?’

‘Perasaan gue sama lo.’

Gue mendengus membaca kalimat pesan dari Marvel, ‘As if you have any, your jokes are starting to get old.’

Bagi beberapa orang hal itu mungkin akan menimbulkan banyak pertanyaan,

But again this is Me and Marvel you’re talking about.

Untuk apa mempertanyakan keadaan pertemanan, antar makhluk yang sama sama tidak punya perasaan.

Dia yang sering dicap bajingan,

Dan gue yang penuh bualan,

Is basically a combination of a questionable friendship.

But hey, it is what it is.

And it works.

Surprisingly.

Jadi mau kita udah ciuman,

Dan kalian berharap akan tumbuh tumbuh benih perasaan,

Percaya deh,

Kaga bakalan.

Karena baik gue maupun Marvel,

Sama sama kaum anti pacaran.

Eh tapi bukan berarti bakal taarufan.

‘You’re no fun.’ balas Marvel

‘No, but forreal gue gak ngapa ngapain kan semalem?’

‘Kaga.’

‘Serius?’

‘Coba cek. Lo bangun di rumah orang lain ga. Kalo engga ya berarti aman gak di bungkus.’

‘I know, i mean.. Did i do something to YOU. Specifically.’

‘Oh, well. We made out for a bit, but that was it.’

Yup.

Bajingan adalah label yang melekat pada Marvel,

Dan tampaknya kalian sudah bisa menebak bahwa label itu cukup akurat.

‘Right. Well, sorry about that.’

‘Gapapa.’

‘I’ll find someone else to drink with next time.’

‘Gausah.’

‘Kenapa?’

‘I like the feeling of your lips against mine.’

‘Say that again and i’m going to have to arrest you for it.’

‘Why? So you could have me all to yourself?’

‘Idih.’

‘Could not help it, i guess i’m that irresistible.’

‘IDIH(2). Cari pacar sana, makin kayak setan tingkah lo.’

‘Maunya lo yang jadi pacar gue.’

Gue menatap pesan dari Marvel penuh keheranan-, tidak lama bubble pesan lain muncul,

'SIKE. Yakali sama lo.’

Dengus pelan keluar dari mulut gue sesaat setelah membaca bubble chat tersebut, dan gue mengetik balasan tanpa sadar.

‘Nantangin? Gue pacarin beneran dah. Mau?’

SENT.

Dan sesaat setelah gue memencet tombol send,

The only thing that crossed my mind was,

Dear lord, I wish i could press unsend.

Because you and i both know that i could not afford to be catching feelings with my best friend.

Oke-

Koreksi.

Neither of us are capable of settling down in a committed relationship.

So i guess, for now.

Meaningless drunken make out session is all i gotta settle for.

Meaningless.

Because,

Not everything has to mean something,

But all i know is for this moment,

Gue dapat bilang secara pasti,

Seandainya nanti, entah kapan gue akhirnya bisa terbebas dari belenggu anti komitmen ini.

Maybe, just maybe.

Marvel akan jadi orang pertama yang gue pilih.

in too deep.

10 Years.

Ten, jumlah tahun yang dihabiskan gue mendengarkan celotehan Hendery.

Ten, juga jumlah karcis parkir yang ditimbun di dashboard saat ini.

“Goblok, koleksi lu?” gue tertawa lepas sesaat ketika menemukan setumpuk karcis parkir yang entah dari zaman kapan terkumpul di satu tempat.

“Loh.. disitu semua”

Hendery, atau yang sering gue sebut Aheng hanya tersenyum polos, memamerkan sederetan gigi putih bersih rapi Anti veneer veneer club.

hen

I always wondered how did i ended up becoming friends with this guy,

Looking back, banyak faktor pengaruhnya sih.

Mungkin aja karena nyokap kita satu arisan.

Mungkin juga karena kita teman seangkatan.

Or perhaps,

Karena selera humor yang sama sama rendahan.

Apapun itu, gue belum pernah menyesali persahabatan bersama bajingan haus pujian yang satu ini.

“Gue gak tau dan gak peduli motivasi lo ngumpulin ginian apa, yang gue penasaran tuh, lo udah bayar denda berapa gara gara keilangan karcis parkir gini?”

“Bacot. Kayak lo pernah patungan bayar parkir aja.”

“Duit lu dah banyak, gausah sok miskin buat dapet simpati gue.”

“Yaudah kalo gue sok miskin buat dapet hati lo gimana? Miskin afeksi nih gue.”

Gue spontan tertawa, “Gila ya gue nggak pernah bisa ngalahin gombal lo.”

“Tapi lo udah menangin hati gue, gimana dong?”

Elo tersenyum menyadari gue yang memijat pelipis karena pusing sendiri.

10 years dealing with your ass clearly is not enough.

Because for a split second, I sort of think that you might be serious.

For a split second, I thought that maybe you do have feelings for me.

But pft who am i kidding, there was no point in waiting for someone who hadn't asked, and there was no point in wishing for something that would never happen.

And clearly, me and Hendery would never happen.

I guess buat sekarang,  i can't have one of those epic love story dengan trope childhood friends to lover ala ala wattpad ya.

Karena,

Ten, selain jumlah usia pertemanan antara gue dan dia-

Ten,

is also the name of the guy i’m SUPPOSED to be in love with at the moment.

For fuck sake he is my legitimate boyfriend.

.

.

.

But i mean-

Is it possible to love more than one person at the same time?

Epilogue 0.75

19.00 PM Cake tasting

D-... to Wedding day.

mkhc

‘Tuxedo. Check. Dasi. Check. Apalagi yang kurang- Oh iya, kue!’

Duh, Siapapun yang berpikir bahwa resepsi merupakan ide yang bagus, patut dikubur hidup hidup. Pasalnya, Acara resepsi yang akan berlangsung selama beberapa jam, namun persiapannya berbulan bulan, cukup untuk membuat kepala Mark pusing tujuh keliling.

Despite the fact that they already hired someone to organize the wedding, Hyuck yang terlampau perfeksionis berujung ikut campur tangan dan Yup- You guessed it,

Mark yang notabene peduli tidak peduli terkait dilaksanakannya acara ini, mendadak di-wajib-kan untuk ikut serentetan agenda yang menurutnya tidak terlalu penting, Seperti Cake tasting Buffet tasting Wine tasting,

Like, for fuck sake- Ini mau nikahan apa mau buka restoran? Tasting Tasting, Bikin kepala pusing. Makan piring aja apa biar jadi kuda lumping?

But Hyuck seems to enjoy the whole process of it, so i guess Mark just gotta suck it up. As long as it makes Hyuck happy. So here he is, on a Saturday night-

Terjebak disalah satu gedung di daerah Sudirman dengan sederetan piring berisikan potongan kue berada di hadapannya. Tak lama, Seorang pramusaji menyodorkan piring lain yang berisikan kue lain ke hadapan Mark dan Hyuck,

“Okay so this one is.. Tres leche with buttercream frosting- while this other one you had before is strawberry shortcake- Please have a taste.”

‘WHEN DOES IT STOP?!?!?’ batin Mark setelah disodorkan kue ke-sekian.

Hyuck yang tampak menikmati seluruh proses kebalikan dengannya, masih tampak girang dan memotong potongan kue, “Love…. Coba deh, yang ini kayanya enak.” pintanya selagi tangan kanannya menyuapkan kue pada Mark. Sedangkan Mark dengan pasrah membuka mulut dan menerima suapan tersebut dengan terpaksa.

“Enak?”

“Enak..” Namun tampaknya raut wajah berkata sebaliknya,

“Loh kenapa? Is there something wrong with the cake?”

“Engga..”

“Terus kenapa? You don’t like it? You want me to ask for something else instead? What’s your preference? Kita sesuain sama preferensi kamu aja deh, gimana?” Hyuck hendak melambaikan tangan meminta pramusaji untuk mengambil kembali piring itu dan meminta dibawakan kue jenis lain, namun dihentikkan oleh Mark.

Tangan Mark dengan sigap meraih pergelangan tangan Hyuck, “Hyuck.. gausah”

Hyuck stood still in confusion, still not sure what Mark meant by ‘gausah’ when Mark's facial expression is telling the opposite.

“What do you mean by gausah?”

“It’s really not necessary.”

“Kenapa gitu? There’s clearly something wrong with the cake”

“The cake’s fine.”

“Terus kok muka kamu kayak lagi diracunin?”

Mark menghela nafas dan menempatkan kedua tangannya pada bahu Hyuck,

“I’m just tired, sunshine...” Mark confessed.

He IS tired, He’s tired of having to do all of this when his intentions in first place to hire an EO was to have more quality time with Hyuck before they exchange vows.

And the fact that both of them were spending their last days as boyfriends only to stress over their wedding day, does not sit right with him.

Hyuck on the other hand, is clueless.

“Capek kenapa?”

“Kamu gak cape kita seharian nyari kue doang?”

Hyuck terdiam,

“Sunshine…” panggil Mark selagi menempatkan tangan kanannya yang semula berada di bahu, ke pucuk kepala Hyuck.

“I thought you like doing this.” jawab Hyuck,

“I.. honestly don’t” ujar Mark terus terang.

Hyuck menghela nafas, “I’m sorry i didn’t asked”

“It’s okay…”

“It’s just i want things to be perfect you know.”

“I know.”

Mark memindahkan kedua tangannya untuk menggenggam tangan Hyuck dan menautkan jemarinya pada sela sela jemari,

“Hyuck, kayanya kita gausah urusin wedding and just let the EO do their job aja gak sih?”

Hyuck mengerutkan dahinya bingung selagi kedua bola matanya menatap Mark.

“Maksud?”

“Maksudku… I like things the way it is. Gini ya… A Wedding is one thing, Marriage on the other hand- is a different thing. So, instead of focusing ourselves on having a perfect wedding..”

“....You want us to work on having a perfect marriage instead?”

“I mean it won’t be perfect, obviously. Tapi kayaknya discuss soal having a perfect marriage life itu lebih mending daripada perfect wedding gak sih?”

Hyuck terkekeh pelan, tangan kanannya dilepaskan dari genggaman Mark. “Eh kok tanganku dilepas?”

Hyuck tersenyum dan menempatkan telapak tangannya pada pipi Mark, selagi ibu jarinya mengelus bagian bawah mata pria di hadapannya itu.

“See that’s where you’re wrong my love,”

“How so?”

“Life, including Marriage life isn’t meant to be lived perfectly…but merely to be LIVED. Boldly, wildly, beautifully, uncertainly, imperfectly, magically LIVED.”

Mark terdiam.

“Tapi kalo wedding, itu kan sekali seumur hidup. Doesn’t hurt if i expect things to be perfect kan?” lanjut Hyuck.

And that’s when Mark knew that Hyuck got a point.

“Yaudah iya, kamu bener….”

“Bener lah.”

“Males kepinteran.”

“Kalo gue bego lu gabakal mau.”

“Ya iya sih..”

Baru saja Mark mengalah dan hendak melanjutkan cake tasting, perutnya tiba tiba mengeluarkan suara nyaring.

“....Uh, love are you okay?”

“No..”

“Kamu kenapa?” tanya Hyuck dengan nada khawatir.

“There is also another reason why i’m not enjoying myself with this whole cake tasting-”

“What is it?”

“Kayaknya kamu lupa deh, tapi yaudah gapapa”

Hyuck memicingkan matanya dengan bingung tidak mengerti apa yang dimaksud Mark karena ia merasa tidak melupakan apa apa.

mkhc

“Kenapa?”

“I’m lactose intolerant.”

Well, shit.

No literally, With the amount of cakes he had earlier.

He could literally shits himself.

18.00 P.M

Hyuck's POV

hc

Here's a question you could probably answer for me Gamau dijawab juga gapapa, tapi coba jawab ini buatku. Coba aja dulu.

My question is: Why do people get married?

Mengesampingkan alasan religius, tentunya. Aku dapat mengkonfirmasi kalau banyak orang menikah karena alasan bodoh,

There are some who married for financial security. There are others who got married because they were too afraid to lose their partner to another person.

Atau, Kalau lagi gak hoki. Bisa gara gara di hamilin terus kena society pressure untuk menikah for the sake of 'menjaga martabat' atau tanggung jawab.

Ew.

Intinya, kalau kamu berniat buat membandingkan jumlah manusia yang menikah karena alasan bodoh dengan manusia yang menikah karena alasan yang konkrit.....

Aku cukup yakin, yang bodoh lebih banyak.

I should know better, karena aku salah satunya.

And... you might be wondering, alasan bodoh apa yang membuatku memilih untuk menikah?

Well, Love. Udah, itu aja. Dan kalau kata orang orang,

“A great marriage doesn't happen because of the love you had in the beginning but how well you continue building love until the end”

Unfortunately, bagi aku dan orang yang sedang menyupir di sampingku sekarang

It ended sooner than we thought. And as much as we tried to fight for it, as much as we tried to think that we are destined for each other;

Aku sadar kalau,

A good, succesful marriage is not destiny.

You are never destined to be happy. You have to work for it.

And i guess, both of us were simply too tired to even worked on it. . . . . Marriage is overrated if you ask me. And i was perfectly fine without it. At least i thought i was, That is until... Moon taeil alias agentku yang hobinya menguji kesabaran decided to play cupid. Dan melemparkan ku ke kandang singa. Literally. . . . Terkadang dalam hidup, we got things thrown into our faces. In my case, the one who throw things to my face itu.. Agent ku sendiri, alias bang bulan.

Karena dia, aku bisa stuck dalam situasi dan kondisi yang sangat tidak ideal seperti ini. Bayangin aja ya,

An omega. In pain. Terjebak bersama mantan di space tertutup, dengan jantung yang berdegup. Dan gelora api asmara yang masih hidup.

Engga. Bercanda. Aku bukan Derby Romero. If you don't know who he is? Look it up.

Anyway,

Poin yang coba ku sampaikan adalah, This definitely is a perfect combo for t r o u b l e. And well, i'm kind of fucked at this point.

Mark is back in my life. Gak tau sampai berapa lama, but he's back.

Gila ya, kayaknya semesta emang gabisa liat aku hidup tenang sedikit. Menikmati rutinitas ku selama 2 tahun terakhir yang dipenuhi dengan haha hehe di depan kamera-editing-terima uang adsense-pura pura bahagia di socmed-upload endorse-an.

But well, Moon taeil dan semesta memutuskan untuk berkonspirasi bersama and decided to stir things up. Gabut kayanya mereka.

So here i am. Terpaksa mendengarkan basa basi yang super duper basi, yang kalau dulu biasanya diselingi jokes garing bapak bapak, dan aku akan tetap tertawa.

eh- kok malah flashback.

I guess you could figure it out by now,

I'm not as strong as i'd like to think i am.

Saat aku menghabiskan 2 tahun dari hidupku mencoba untuk menghapus memori bajingan antara aku dan Mark, dimana kita menghabiskan nyaris 8 jam berargumen satu sama lain, yang ditutup dengan Mark yang berkata;

'I can't do this anymore, Hyuck.'

Aku cuma bisa terdiam. I wanted to talk about it god damn it, I wanted you to hold on. I wanted us to fight fo each other. Not fight with each other;

Tapi yang keluar dari mulutku waktu itu cuma;

'It’s the end for us isn’t it?'

Mark diam.

And in his silence, i have found my answers.

It occurred to me that Sometimes we have to let go what's killing us, even if it's killing us to let go.

Crap, aku mulai terdengar seperti ABG labil yang tiap galau kerjaannya nyetel 'No longer'.

Kalian contohnya. HA. Busted. . . . Kalau aja aku bisa menguatkan diri untuk mengatakan sesuatu untuk memecah keheningan di antara kita saat ini, Aku bakalan bilang ini;

“Kamu tau apa yang aku sesali, Mark?”

“It's been 2 years, 2 Whole years. Dan aku tetap membiarkan perasaan dan pikiranku dijajah oleh kamu.”

Tapi, keheningan ini tidak harus dipecahkan kan? So i guess, it's fine for me to just say nothing. Looking back, orang orang mungkin menganggapku bodoh karena menghabiskan masa muda ku 'terikat' dengan kamu. Dan cuma kamu. . . . Wasted time. Wasted tears. Wasted love. That's what people have told me. And yet, Have they ever asked themselves? Is love ever truly wasted? . . Duh niatku kan cuma nanya satu pertanyaan di awal, kok jadi panjang.

“Aku nyalain lagu ya, gaenak sepi” ucapan Mark tiba tiba membuyarkan lamunanku. Sesaat ketika tangannya hendak mengutak atik layar LCD mobil dengan sigap tanganku menghentikannya.

mkhc

Dan pada saat kulit kita bersentuhan, tubuhku seakan akan bernapas lega karena sakit yang kurasakan pada ulu hati seketika berkurang,

Well, it didn't went away but it definitely got better.

Dih tai, haus sentuhan., kutukku pada diri sendiri.

“Lo fokus nyetir aja.”

I decided to let go of his wrist, and not long after..... the pain came back.

Emang dikerjain sama hormon sendiri engga ada lucu lucunya. Cih.

Aku mencoba tidak menghiraukan hal tersebut dan memilih untuk menyalakan radio mobil

Well- funny enough,

Seakan akan semesta mendengar apa yang ku pikirkan barusan—

Wasted Love by Jhené Aiko is on shuffle.

Aduh, curiga Moon Taeil nyogok Semesta pake duit endorse. . . Not long after, ketika lagu yang sedang terputar mencapai bagian bridge and the moment the lyrics goes:

How did we get away from love? How did love get away from us? . . Aku dapat bersumpah kalau Mark melirik ke arahku, Dan demi dewa Zeus dan sederetan istri serta selingkuhannya; Entah aku yang halusinasi, tapi ya...

I was so close into asking him,

'So how did we get here Mark?'

https://open.spotify.com/track/1zsxlqBfktCpTXK9CjUpyW?si=Skprc7eQQCmvGZPWRvwsXg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ0PMlzypvY

A letter to: Mark lee.

Dear Mark lee. Hi. This is just a small letter from a girl across the ocean who literally spends her night simping for your existence. I have no particular reason why I wanted to write this, but I feel like I need to for some reason. Anyway, here goes nothing. To The boy who left his hometown when he was 11, I would like to say thank you for your bravery. Because if not for your bravery- and hard work- and determination. I would not have the chance to know the fine young man you became right now.

Here’s the thing though, As much as i know how you’re very passionate at what you’re doing right now You deeply acknowledge the fact that your job constantly demands you to be perfect 24/7, I don’t know you personally therefore i can’t really say much, But I noticed how you’ve been trying to hide your physical imperfections. There’s not much to say besides that having flaws does not make you less of a person Heck, You were blessed and shaped by the hands of God. And let me tell you something, God really took his time while creating you.

Mark Lee, Lee Minhyung,

I wish I could convey how amazing you are both as an idol, and as a person. You have no clue that i’m willing to use up all my 11.11 wishes, wishing for you to believe that yourself. That you are indeed, One magnificent being. And i just want you to know that,

So, Thank you. Thank you, for seeing the world in such a divine way through those dazzling eyes of yours. Thank you for choosing this path despite the things you may have sacrificed such as your youth, and living apart from your family. Thank you for simply existing.

You deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.

P.S I love you. Platonically dude, fingers crossed it will stay that way because god knows what might happen if it turns into something else.

P.S.S Stop hiding in the dark, because you shine brighter than the star itself.

17.30 P.M

Sebuah suara familiar terdengar berbicara kepada Hyuck— Suara Mark lebih tepatnya. “Mau dianter ke Dokter yang sama kayak yang dulu kah?”

Holy. Fuck.

Donghyuck hadn't expect that the person Taeil meant earlier, was his ex.

'Lagipula.. How the fuck, kedua orang itu bisa mengenal satu sama lain?' batinnya.

Bila ia tahu bahwa mantan suaminya lah yang akan mengantar, Hyuck akan memilih untuk menelan heat suppresant 3x dosis normalnya pagi ini.

This sucks. Fakta bahwa ia harus menghadapi mantan suami-nya dalam situasi dan kondisi yang tidak ideal. Dan itu tampaknya ter-manifestasi dengan jelas dari sensasi ulu hati Hyuck yang mendadak langsung nyeri.

Buset. Heats apa Asam lambung tuh?

So, here we go again. Hm.. Darimana kita mulai?

I guess by now, kalian sudah menebak apa yang akan terjadi selanjutnya. YUP!

Baku hantam. Engga, bukan hantam-hantaman mulut. Meskipun harus kuakui, untuk sekarang itu bukanlah hal yang buruk untuk dilakukan.

Karena, sesaat ketika tatapan mereka bertemu satu sama lain, Baik tubuh dan pikiran Mark dan Hyuck berteriak dan meneriakan berbagai macam sinyal melalui bond mereka. 2 tahun bukanlah waktu yang singkat untuk keduanya berpisah,

Their bond is similar to an elastic band.

Ibarat karet gelang, semakin jauh karet ditarik, semakin besar tegangan yang ada. Hanya ada 2 skenario yang dapat terjadi: 1. Karet putus 2. Karet akan kembali ke posisi awal dengan percepatan yang lebih besar.

In most cases, 'karet' yang sudah terpisah 2 tahun seharusnya masuk ke skenario yang pertama bukan? But no, this one is not like most cases.

Ibaratkan bond mereka layaknya karet, Apakah dengan pertemuan ini keduanya akan kembali ke posisi awal?

I don't know. But one thing i know for sure is,

They need each other.

And it's not like they're not aware of it. They do.

Sayang, keduanya terlampau gengsi untuk mengatakan bahwa keduanya haus afeksi. Tapi yasudahlah, Yang satu sibuk mencari atensi (youtuber), yang satu lagi sibuk mengurus konveksi (bos tekstil).

Bila tidak percaya lihat saja buktinya, ketika mereka ditinggalkan berdua di ruangan yang sama.

Boy let me tell you, the tension is THICK.

Mark's POV

Gue nyaris tidak percaya apa yang ada di hadapan mata gue sekarang, after 2 painful years. Orang yang selama ini muncul di home Youtube gue tiba-tiba muncul di depan mata.

There's not much to say about him though, he looks pretty much the same as he did couple years ago, only with longer hairs. Dan sedikit pucat, tapi secara keseluruhan

Masih rupawan. Masih menawan.

Cantik. Tiada lawan.

Tapi dulu, dia selalu benci kalau gue panggil cantik. Dan bodohnya, malah itu kata yang pertama keluar dari mulut gue ketika melihat sosok dia dengan wajah super duper datar.

“Cantik.” bisik gue reflex.

Hyuck yang berjalan mendahului gue, tampaknya memiliki pendengaran super karena tiba tiba pria didepan gue menghentikan langkahnya hanya untuk melirik ke arah gue dan bertanya “I beg your pardon?” dengan nada pahit.

mkhc

If there's a word to describe what i'm feeling right now, it would be dumbfounded. Because i sure as hell did not saw that coming.

Jadi sekarang, gue mencoba memutar otak mencari alasan yang tepat untuk 'ngeles'.

“Bistik.” hanyalah satu satunya hal yang terpikirkan di otak gue,

Alphas are not the smartest beings. Give me a break. Kosa kata gue terbatas.

“What?”

“Engga.. i was thinking what i'm going to have for dinner. Bistik kayanya enak. Hahaha” Gue dapat bersumpah, tawa gue lebih kaku dari kanebo kering yang dipanggang crispy.

“Oh okay.” jawab Hyuck tak acuh.

Gaada basa basi.

Gue berhenti di depan mobil sedan dengan logo BMW dan memanggil Hyuck yang masih berjalan,

bmw

“Hyuck, yang ini.” panggil gue padanya. Hyuck membalikan badan dan langsung berjalan ke arah pintu mobil penumpang depan.

Thank goodness dia engga menganggap gue layaknya supri gr*bcar dan memilih untuk duduk di belakang,

Gue membuka pintu mobil agar Hyuck bisa masuk namun bukannya terimakasih yang gue dapatkan, melainkan semprotan.

“Gue bisa buka sendiri. And please, call me Haechan.“ ucapnya dingin.

Gue hanya bisa mengangguk dan langsung memposisikan diri ke kursi pengemudi untuk men-starter mobil.

I kind of saw that coming to be honest,

meskipun kita sudah berbicara via iMessage selama beberapa hari belakangan. Gue juga engga bisa langsung berharap dia bisa bertingkah layaknya dulu lagi.

Especially after what we've been through.

Gue menginjak pedal gas dan mulai menjalankan mobil, “Eh ini kamu emang lagi sakit apa?”

“Kan bisa ngerasain. Ngapain nanya?” jawabnya dengan nada ketus.

“Oh iya ya..”

The whole entire car ride was filled with silence, Gue disini berusaha keras memutar otak untuk mencari topik lain selama perjalanan, since i really like it when he talks.

He could light up the entire room with his presence, yang mana kebalikan dari gue yang ber-kepribadian introvert.

Sayangnya, due to my lack of social skills topik yang keluar dari mulut gue hanyalah topik basa basi yang super duper basi,

“So...Haechan, How's life?” tanya gue canggung.

It's still weird for me, not being able to call him Hyuck.

“Biasa aja. Masih menjalani karir yang lo pernah bilang hina.”

Ouch.

“Haechan..” Gue ingin melanjutkan kalimat gue, tapi gue hanya bisa membisu karena apa yang dia katakan bukan kebohongan semata.

I did say those things. Did i regret it? Yes. Very much.

But as a wise man once said, There's 3 things you can't recover in life: 1. The time after it's wasted 2. The moment after it's missed 3. The word after it's said.

The last one seems to hit too close to home-

Because words, once they are said. They can only be forgiven. Not forgotten.

That does apply to the situation, karena kini, Hyuck kembali mengalihkan pandangannya keluar jendela. Tidak mengucapkan sepatah kata apapun, dan kembali menyibukkan diri dengan ponsel-nya.

Dan percaya apa kata gue, silence hurts even more than words. Since words might stings, but silence is what breaks the heart.

Sekarang, panggil gue cupu.

But at times like this, i prefer to stay silent.

Since i think i have broken his heart enough, Sedangkan hati gue?

Mengutip sebuah kalimat dari novel klasik karangan Jane Austen berjudul Sense and Sensibility,

'My heart is, and always will be, yours.'

I wish i could say all those words to him directly tapi ya kayaknya lo udah tau sekarang, kalo mental meong gue udah susah di kompromi.

Gue tau apa yang kalian pikirkan, kalo masih sayang kenapa dulu dilepasin.

Trust me, i've been asking myself the same exact question for the past 2 years.

Pengen deh rasanya gue ngomong terus terang ke dia,

I'm sitting here next to you, with a beating heart yet barely alive from being without you. Come on, starlight. Revive me.

Tapi gabisa. Jadi gue mohon, untuk siapapun rocket scientist yang memiliki cita cita menjadi einstein selanjutnya- Kalian udah berhasil menemukan mesin waktu ga?

Boleh tolong dibawa kesini? Gue cuma mau menampar diri gue 2 tahun yang lalu. Karena sekarang, Sekarang semesta sedang menampar gue keras keras and let me tell you,

It hurts like fuck.

Well, I guess that's the thing about divorce, those who divorce aren't necessarily the most unhappy, They were just too sure to believe their misery is caused by one other person.

Jadi sekarang, mari mengheningkan cipta untuk pasangan duren sawit dan duren medan ini.

Let's just hope We Got Divorced could end as We Got Back together.

Berharap gaada salahnya kan?

Epilogue 0.50

Mark's POV

Touchdown, Jakarta Home sweet home.

Honestly ya, i never would've thought that hari dimana gua meyakini bahwa Jakarta merupakan salah satu kota terbaik di dunia akan datang.

Apa coba yang bisa dicintai dari Jakarta? Macet-nya ? Tingkat polusi-nya ? Atau kolam renang yang kunjung muncul tiap tahunan-nya? (Eh tapi sori aja sih gua gapernah ngerasain)

Not to mention, berjuta juta masyarakat Indonesia yang datang ke ibukota demi sekedar mengadu nasib, serta kerja banting tulang dan berujung bernasib malang.

I could go on and elaborate my reasonings as to why i think, Jakarta is shitty.

And yet, No matter how shitty it is, I will always find my way back in here.

There's something about big city like Jakarta that makes you feel both so seen and invisible.

At least, itu menurut gua. Gua jadi teringat dimana 6 tahun lalu ketika gua baru kembali dari Vancouver dan bahasa Indonesia gua masih dibilang kayak gado gado kalo kata om Heechul-

eh, Papa maksudnya. ( Iya, gua udah boleh manggil beliau papa semenjak gua mendedikasikan waktu kosong untuk menjadi caddy golf karena gak mau kalah dengan Eunwoo. )

Dulu, all i wanted was to live elsewhere. Anywhere selain disini- Mungkin karena itu, i don't even bother learning proper Bahasa.

That is until.. i met Him.

The person that reminds me so much of the city, Jakarta itself.

Loud. Chaotic. Yet Beautiful at the same time.

The only face i could see in a crowded place;

Seperti sekarang ini, Di tengah hiruk pikuk terminal 3 Soekarno Hatta gua mengenali pria dengan setelan abu abu dan rambut kecoklatan yang tersenyum lebar menyambut di terminal kedatangan.

I have to admit, i was fucking tired- Tapi melihat sosok itu tersenyum lebar dengan lengan yang terbuka lebar, capek gua rasanya hilang seketika. (Gak sih, masih capek- but you get my point)

hc

Reflex, hal pertama yang gua lakukan ketika melihat dia adalah

Peluk.

Elo semua pasti berpikir kalau gua bucin sejati. Well, it's true- Lo mau tau peran gua apa lagi selain bucin sejati?

Pria paling hoki sedunia. Yang siap menjadi partner Donghyuck sehidup semati. Cielah.

“Sunshine..” sapa gua selagi menenggelamkan diri di pelukan Hyuck.

I was only gone for a week dan gua udah se kangen ini sama dia sampai rela minta booking flight tercepat ke Jakarta sesaat setelah meeting gua berakhir.

The things i do for you, Donghyuck.

Pembelaan ya, Allow me to say a thing or two about our relationship- We definitely are not cut out to be in a Long Distance Relationship

Siapapun yang berhasil bertahan dalam hubungan jarak jauh; My respect goes to all of you.

Karena gua pribadi jujur, gak bakal bisa kalau harus jauh dari Hyuck. Ya meskipun, gak senorak dulu saat baru jadian langsung LDR Jakarta-Singapore.

Thanks to my job promotion, nowadays i did still have to travel but it was only occasionally dan durasi stay-nya gak selama itu.

So- Both time dan distance is no longer our enemies.

Ngerti kan sekarang kenapa gua bisa jatuh cinta sama Jakarta?

eh- sori. Kayaknya kalimat yang lebih tepat adalah kenapa gua bisa jatuh cinta oleh orang yang 'kebetulan' ada di Jakarta.

Anyway, selepas berpelukan layaknya teletubbies Tidak lama, Hyuck memilih untuk melepaskan pelukan dan meraih gagang koper yang terletak di samping gua

“Pulang?”

Gua tersenyum dan merangkul leher Hyuck selagi mendaratkan kecupan singkat pada pelipis pria tersebut. “Pulang.”

During the whole trip to his car i could not help but notice his broad shoulder,

mkhc

“Heh, Kamu sekarang work out ya?” tanya gua selagi memicingkan mata selagi Hyuck menaruh koper gua ke bagasi mobil.

“Iya”

“Tumben.”

“Lagi nyoba biar gak buncit supaya kalo pake jas gak susah. Gila emang nih perut semuanya gara gara rendang pagi sore” ucapnya dengan raut cemberut selagi menepuk nepuk perutnya.

God, he's so cute.

“Mau pake jas kemana? Ada undangan wedding? Biar bisa pamer ke Your ex yang titisan surga bukan?” ledek gua

“Iya. Ada wedding. And why do you have to bring up my ex? Orang kamu yang lebih sering hangout sama dia sekarang.” ketusnya

“Kan dia juga deket sama papa, i couldn't say no? Besides, your ex is super cool. Aku kemaren dapet voucher go-food dari dia banyak banget. Later tonight, papa sama eunwoo ngajak golf lagi. So i might come then.“

Hyuck melihat gua sambil menggelengkan kepalanya heran “Kalian tuh kayak simpenan papa ku tau ga?”

Gua hanya bisa terkekeh kecil, to be fair- gua juga gak expect bakal bisa get along dengan Eunwoo. But hey, as long as everyone's happy kan?

“So... Whose weddings are you going to attend later?” tanya gua

“Ours.“

Soon Hyuck. Soon.

Gak jarang gua dan Hyuck bercanda seperti ini, sehingga gua berasumsi bahwa itu lagi lagi salah satu hal atau ucapan random yang keluar dari mulutnya.

Little did i know though, It was sooner than i thought it was gonna be.

Karena tidak lama setelah kita berdua meninggalkan bandara dan terjebak di tengah kemacetan ruas tol,

Hyuck literally proposed to me.

“You.. me.. and resepsi?” begitu ucapnya.

Gua masih terdiam melihat kotak kecil dengan motif beludru yang masih ada di pangkuan gua.

It wasn't awkward, it was just... weird Hyuck was super nervous, gua cuma diam dan bertanya tanya kenapa dia gugup

Like come on, he graduated with Summa Cumlaude from Law School- For crying out loud. I think he's smart enough to figure that i was never going to say no to the proposal.

Maksud gua, Kita pernah membicarakan ini sebelumnya, tentang angan angan dan masa depan. Menjalin hubungan dengan Hyuck benar benar membuka perspektif gua akan banyak hal.

I no longer only think about the present when it comes to 'Us' Gaada itu namanya 'jalanin aja' dalam kamus kita.

I know damn well that i want to spend the rest of my life with him, and vice versa.

We don't only think about the 'now'. We also think about the older and declining years. When gray and wrinkles have replaced our youthful beauty (though i'm pretty convinced, he'd still look beautiful then.) We both want to still be able to hold each other and whisper sweet nothings to each other's ear.

I want that. WE want that.

Cuma untuk sekarang ini kalau boleh jujur, i don't want to say yes to his proposal. . . . . . . . . . .

Was it because it wasn't romantic? No Was it becasue i don't want to marry him? Gak juga lah gila apa lo. . . . . . . . . . It was because i was supposed to propose to him first- Cincin yang sudah gua siapkan dari jauh jauh hari dan sengaja gua pick up dari jeweler ternama saat gua berada di Scotland, kini nangkring di saku gua. I was going to propose to him in front of his family, tapi kalo keburu kecolongan start begini, gua harus apa? . . .

Akhirnya tanpa pikir panjang, ketika suasana mulai tidak mengenakkan bagi dia, maupun bagi gua. Lantas gua merogoh saku celana gua dan mengeluarkan box hitam serupa, dan menyodorkannya pada Hyuck.

“Kok kamu duluan ngelamar-nya... padahal kan harusnya aku.” “Nikah nih kita?”

Hyuck sibuk mengalihkan pandangannya pada 3 arah yang berbeda. Gua-jalanan-dan box cincin itu.

Hening.

Hyuck bingung. Gua bingung.

We were both just as confused. None of us are saying a word, because clearly... WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED.

I don't know if this was supposed to be funny, but out of nowhere- Selepas kita berdua diam diaman sekitar 5 menit karena kebingungan.

Both of us burst in laughters.

Dan menurut gua, dari suara tawa renyah dia dan tawa gua yang cukup membuat gua kehabisan oksigen, i think it's safe to say that:

We both said yes to the question.

Secara tidak langsung.

So, You. Me. and Resepsi. How does that sounds? . . . . . . . . . . . There's one little problem though; The thing is, when I proposed to Hyuck, and Hyuck proposed to me, both of us *were only thinking about getting married. Together forever with a government seal. * . . . . We didn't think about weddings. Ah fuck, here we go again.

Well-

At least we're enganged.

So.... Ada yang tau sewa Wedding Organizer dimana?