No chance.
Rain go down as San starts to walk out from the office. He doesn’t even bother to come back to take shelter, he just walk away as if nothing happened. His gaze looks empty, his steps seems heavy.
“Your life is sucks. I hate you, San.” He murmured. Few minutes ago, he just got fired. He did nothing wrong, he was framed as if he did. There’s no one behind him, there’s no one helping him. San takes all the blame.
“What should i do?” he repeats the words again and again. His anxiety takes over his head, he lost himself at this moment. All of the glasses are broken here and there. Causing lots of blood, as San steps on it.
“Why am I living this life?”
“WHY ME?” he throws the last plate to the floor. He feels angry, upset, and guilty. He drowned himself into the black hole, deeper than ever. Dark, and lonely.
He, once, had a best friend. It was before he caught him be friend with San just for winning a bet. San hates his life even more since then.
Nobody was there for him. Nobody, until now.
His phone rings, a message popped up on the lockscreen.
Hi, San. It’s Hongjoong. Have a time for lunch? I want to talk to you.
San slightly smile to his phone. Hongjoong is an old friend. He is the one who helped San got his last job, before he got fired in the end. San almost forgot about Hongjoong. He almost forgot, that he has one person that still on his side.
He steps in on a cafe Hongjoong told him. San walks to the table where a boy with blue hair sits.
“Hyung.”
“San! You are here, sit down.” Hongjoong smiled, not a happy smile.
“San, I just heard about what happened to you. Are you okay?”
A cliche question that don't even need an answer, actually. San shakes his head, that's his answer. Hongjoong pull out a paper, a song lyric.
“San, join me, to make a song. It’s your dream, right? To be a singer?” Again, San shakes his head. He doesn't want it. He thanked Hongjoong for his help, but that's not what he needs right now. Besides, he is done with his life.
“No, Hyung. I won’t take it.”
“Why?”
“I decided to move out, tomorrow. My life in here is sucks, so I wanna leave.” Hongjoong stay still, not saying any word. He stares at the boy in front of him. He wants to help San, it’s his mission, actually.
“San, it will change you and your life. I promise.”
“It won’t, Hyung! Nothing’s gonna change, if I still live here as Choi San.” San walks away, leaving Hongjoong all teared up. There’s no other chance, it will stay the same.
The sand flow up even quicker, Hongjoong’s time is over. Their time is over.
His apartment is half empty. All of his belongings are packed and he is ready to move. He decided to go back to his hometown. The loaded truck parked down there, he rented a truck himself because he want to be all alone.
After organizing his belongings on the back, he start to drive.
“Is this a right choice?”
“Are you sure wanna leave?”
“You think your life will get better if you run away, cowards?” These voices resound in San’s head. His gaze change, empty. The anxiety takes over again. The car stops in the middle of the road. He is shaking, doesn’t know what to do.
“You are useless.”
“You are worthless, Choi San.”
”SHUT UP!” He yelled. The sound of car honking bring him back to reality. He starts to drive again, as he keeps repeating the same question, murmured. “You think your life will get better?”.
He, again, stops in the middle of the road. He is sick, of everything. He is done, he wants a better life. San loosen his seatbelt, waiting for the right moment, he opens the door.
San is sick of his life. When the moving car that stopped for a moment, he jumped out of the car.
He jumped out, right at the time a car from across moving fast. He bumped himself to the car, leaving the pain on the street. He falls hard, until everything turns dark.
He failed. He give up.
He smiled, for the last time. “You did great, Choi San.” It’s his last word, before the darkness take over. His life ends here.