whatever cupid
So I wrote on my online dating profile “My cat doesn't seem to like people very much But I'm still really glad I got him”
But what I should have written was “My cat doesn't seem to like me very much” But I wasn't brave enough to write that I mean it's true he doesn't warm to most But he warms, a little, to some To my friends who visit occasionally To my flatmate
But what I should have written was “My cat doesn't seem to love me very much” Even though I feed him Even though I clean his litter tray Even though I pay for his insurance Even though I arrange his vet appointments Even though love doesn't work like that Even though I know better Even so, something somewhere is hurt A little And maybe it's me And maybe I just need to try a bit harder To forge a bond
But what I really should have written was “You don't seem to love me very much” Stranger from the internet, seeking out your own love among strangers Crush, that I've harboured for quite a while now, probably unrequited Person I barely know whose seal of approval I still crave for unknown reasons Lover I might have had in another life where I didn't misread you Friend, beloved, who my psychosis makes me second guess God, whose love seems so real and so illusory at the same time and no, sorry, I don't even begin to grasp how that works
Actually, no That would be a terrible thing to write On an online dating profile But I'm still really glad I got him