🎶cucumber sluts🎶 ///

Val: ugh Val: mom asked me if i was bringing anybody to the family reunion and i'm just like Val: for once i wish i was!!! Val: 3-for-1 deal: 1) finally come out to my family Val: 2) if i tell them i'm taken ahead of time they won't corner me at the reunion to introduce me to girls Delia: wait, pause, they introduce you to girls at your family reunion? so like your cousins? Val: GDI DELIA NO THE GIRLS ARE NOT MY RELATIVES Val: they get in-laws to drag their friends along to hook up w/unsuspecting unattached young adult family Val: also sometimes they just try to set me up on blind dates while I'm there Ambrose: That seems. Invasive Delia: #yikes but at least it's not cousin ethel-mae Johnny: LMAO Val: 3) a boyfriend physically present to convince my aunts that shoving girls at me is never gonna work Val: but fucc! me! bc i'm still! single! Randall: so… you're looking for a fake bf then \\